Addie

Your wife's general good health AND that A-1 attitude will certainly be some of her best "allies" in this battle. I'm glad there has been reduction in the primary tumor but am sorry to hear there are other questionable spots in her lungs. It's too bad she cannot continue with the last two rounds of chemo right now...but encourage her to use that positive attitude to build her strength back up. Is she being given something to boost her blood counts? Like Procrit or Aranesp for the red blood cells, or Neupogen or Neulasta shots for the white blood cells? I have to assume if she's been hospitalized, the docs are taking care of this and her low sodium. But that esophagitis...once you have it....it does make eating tough. Try different things...see what goes down easiest and let her just pig out on whatever goes down easy! Has she lost weight? This isn't good...as she needs to keep her weight UP to retain some strength! One of our members said Oreo cookies went down the easiest...so she indulged in Oreos!! For some, cold things or room temperature food is easier to eat than hot foods. Everyone is a little different. I only had a mild short term case of esophagitis....so I maintained my weight easily. But again...your wife's good attitude is a GREAT asset to her. She's also lucky to have you and I'm glad you found this site as there is lots of good and helpful info. Hope those new nodules turn out to be nothing. It's possible, you know! When I was dx'd it was because I had two small nodules they were tracking and while the nodules were still there, unchanged...the lung cancer had shown up. I just had a scan this week. One of those two original nodule is now GONE and the other is unchanged....4 mm. in size. We continue to track it. I'm hoping the new spots in your wife's lungs turn out to be unrelated little "nothings". Keep us posted!

Thanks for clearing up the scan issue. I read it wrong I guess...but couldn't believe a 10 day wait! There must be something to the notion of anemia causing one to feel down emotionally. Mouse was commenting on the same thing. It's not the only reason for being sorta depressed....that's for damn sure....but I know I've not had as much energy lately and it DOES sorta make me feel "uh" emotionally too! Not weepy.....just....."uh". Blah. Poopy. Yucky. Leave me alone. You know what I'm saying, right? Cuz you FEEL that way!! I'd say it's back to the drawing board on what you might do for that cough. There has to be SOMETHING that helps, Jen. I can't imagine trying to sleep with a nagging cough. Bad enough I get night sweats and flashes. Worse, my female dog sneaks up on the bed in the middle of the night and while there is PLENTY of room for her in the middle....she has to sleep RIGHT ON MY HIP....snuggled up to me like a log cabin built right against the foothills.....ya know? If I was coughing too, I'd NEVER get a decent night's sleep! Will look forward to a good report from you next Wednesday. In the meantime, if nothing else works to sort of boost your mood...might I recommend you up your daily "dosage" of chardonnay a half glass or so?

Aw, Kel....dangitall. I'm sorry it's back...but very glad it's been caught and it sounds like her docs have a plan of attack. Tell Mom to keep her chin up and keep slugging away...and you do the same. The next line of attack might be wildly successful.....so don't give up hope. Remind your mom that she and I BOTH are supposed to be back out on that golf course....and I'm expecting her to be there! Tell her I hollered "fore" and told her not to give up on this! Sending all positive thoughts your and her way!

I, for one, want to thank you for the fact that the site was down for so long. It afforded me enough time to get just about ALL my Christmas decorations put away!! Seriously...Rick and Katie, you guys do a phenomenal job here keeping things running and upgrading the site....and we hope you know how much it's appreciated.

Boy, let me ditto this!! Glad to hear your fightin' spirit, Marge. You'll do fine with the CPT 11....and I don't know if anemia can "cause" depression per se....but hey, with blood counts low enough to make you feel sorta puny and without any energy....who the heck is gonna want to smile? Keep us posted...but you go, girl...and kick cancer in the patootie!!

Your luck, you hadda deal with Nurse Ratchet, huh Cindy? Holding all good thoughts for you and hoping you get a call soon with some good news!

Ah, Jen..... The first thing I'm going to say, is having to wait 10 days for results is ludicrous! I just had my scan on Monday and I called in to my onc's office yesterday. He returned the call when he could to give me the results. Didn't even have to make an appointment this time...as I go see him again in two months, and will be rescanned in three. (And BTW, the scan looked - in the onc's own word - "gorgeous"! Whew!) I cannot imagine having to wait ten days....because I know this time, the angst ate at me more. The further out from tx....the easier it is to worry that it's gonna return....at least for the first two years, I think. After that, I hope test time becomes easier. You've had a long haul...longer than most. And I know this cough has been really tough on you. This IS your body. You've already gotten two doses of chemo beyond the standard treatment. You still need PCI. I'd sit down with your onc again and MAKE him listen. If you've really had enough of the chemo...SAY IT LOUD until he hears you. It IS your choice. Then get on with the PCI. I have to tell you, I don't feel as good these days as I did during the last couple cycles of chemo and just afterwards. I dunno if it's just the cumulative result of all the tx...some residual effect.....or if maybe the add'l steroids I got during tx kept me more energized....I really dunno. I just know I wear out quicker these days and it's harder to stay upbeat...but I keep working at it. I went thru a time of two of the weepies, bemoaning MY lost life too...and my lost headwarmer.....ie: my hair! But this is my new reality...and I try not to get too bogged down in what I don't have or cannot enjoy in the same way as I could, pre-cancer! I'm always mindful that it could be worse....but I keep aiming for and hoping for better than that and try to enjoy whatever good news I get! I have some female surgery coming up soon...and a nasty infection I can't kick (probably again, thanks to residual effects of tx) and they'll cancel my surgery unless I do. We've decided NOT to move to Arizona after all because I'm not secure enough yet to have all new doctors....so we're a bit strapped until we can finish and sell the house out there! Christmas this year was sort of a bust...and my family seems to feel that since I'm NED....everything is back to normal. Or should be! They don't seem to want to acknowledge, let alone talk about the fact that I still have a little fear in me. This ain't easy stuff, Jen. None of it. It is and always has been hard to come here when there seems to be many setbacks...or losses. It's still the rare week that passes that I don't think of Mo Sugar....who was one of the first around here to respond to me and who was such a lovely person. Her loss hit me hard...and it reverberates and has been repeated by others here who were also lovely people and are now gone. Cancer sucks. But we go with the hand we're dealt. Find someone to spout to if this is getting too burdensome...and tell your onc you're all done with chemo, if that's how you sincerely feel! You have that right...and he'll have to honor your decision. I'm sorry, hon. Wish I could make it better for you...but it's a good thing to tell it like you feel it sometimes. Cripes, I changed the course of our lives here by speaking my truth and saying I wasn't ready to leave my medical team. My poor hubby had already sold the dang snowblower! He had to go back out and buy another one!~ We got 5" last night and we're stuck here in the snow belt for at least another winter after this, if not more! Take charge...in whatever way you can....and hang in. Get PCI on the schedule...as that is something beneficial and it wasn't that bad. I still know who I am when I look in the mirror....even if it's some chubby, bald lady with no eyebrows looking back at me. Hassle your onc for getting the results sooner. It can't possibly take 10 days for him to get the report or see the films. Call after a couple of days and bug them till you get the results. That's your right too! Thinking of you...and hoping it helps to get some of this out!

Best thoughts coming your way, Cindy....for empty headedness and some other easily treatable reason for the headaches.

Hi Amy.... Glad you're still around after eating all that peanut brittle! And...it's important that you've been spending more time with the family....so don't worry about not posting. I'll hope for good news for your mom....and an answer to her tummy issues that is easy to resolve. I'm sorta lurking more myself...in part cuz the holidays takes up time in other ways. But wishing you a wonderful and healthy 2005....and may all your peanut brittle melt in your mouth, not on the pan!

Kel...thanks for the update and Merry Christmas to you and your mom and family!! I hope Mom sees many, many more healthy Christmases! You tell her....even if she doesn't get much golf in this winter....spring will be right behind and I hope to be out on the course then too! Mom and I can compare notes on our games then, but in the meanwhile I hope she gets the other health issue taken care of and is back in fine fettle in a hurry! Best wishes....

Sorry to hear this. Hoping Beth can come home tomorrow so she is home for Christmas. Thanks for letting us know...and hope you and Karen are feeling better too, David!

Ah......my first good belly laugh of the day....Frank and his "bricks" Di....you've done it with grace. And if I helped even a tiny bit by sharing my experience, it was my pleasure....but we all know this treatment stuff can be different for everyone! I'm stunned that you still have your hair!!!!!! What a testament to your follicles, girl...that they are hanging in with such aplomb! That is, if follicles can have self-composure. I'm so happy it's all over for you. I did go back for a one month follow up to the end of PCI...but actually all I had to ask him about was my sorta sore back, between the shoulder blades...which he said is muscular and leftover from my lung radiation. PCI has just rendered me bald and slightly forgetful. Thank God for making lists and notes and little reminders to myself. Now...Di, your mission - should you choose to accept it - is to go forth and MAKE MERRY in celebration of the end of treatment AND the holiday season. In fact, that is my wish to all.....to GO FORTH AND MAKE MERRY...whatever it takes to float anyone's particular boat in the merry making department! Di...you've been quite the inspiration and I know many current and future PCIers will be forever grateful for how you've walked us all thru your experience. Now.....relax and enjoy the season! Love you.....

Ang... Anything from the heart is a wonderful gift!! Your cookies AND your poem are from the heart and your mom will just LOVE them! It really made me smile, because I remembered many, many years ago -probably in the early 1970's - when I had NO good ideas for my mom's birthday....so I made her some of these chocolate and coconut candies that her best friend used to make and that Mom just loved. Along with the candies....I wrote her a poem sort of explaining why she was getting homemade candies for her gift. Well...my mom died in l985....and I found the birthday poem saved among her "special" cards and papers. I still have that poem tucked away. The candy of course, got eaten in a hurry. Anyway....I share this with you, because I just bet your mom will save your poem too! I think the cookies and poem are a lovely gift. The smiles will resonate for years.

Aw, Marion....I'm so sorry about your Baby. It truly is like losing a family member......a nice, quiet relative that demands little and gives much, in the way of comfort and companionship. The best thing about having a great pet, though...is that they expand our hearts. When we have to say goodbye to such a pet....it makea us long for another to share in our lives. Once you have dealt with your grief over losing Baby...maybe there is another kitty out there looking for you to come along and love him/her.....huh? Again....I'm so sorry you've lost your little buddy. Godspeed, Baby.

Hi Wanda... And I agree with Katie...you should talk to your onc about something to boost your blood counts. My oncologist told me, after my first round of chemo, that I would be getting a Neulasta shot every chemo cycle on the fourth day to KEEP the WBC count UP!! After about the 3rd chemo, I also saw a dip in my RBC count...so got an Aranesp shot every two weeks. My blood counts never did become dangerously low. My WBC never dipped below about 6.6 and my RBCs were just slightly below the lower range of normal. But...like I said....my onc had me all set up for the Neulasta shots even BEFORE I saw any real dip in my WBCs, because he anticipated that they WOULD drop! It is important to be able to continue with treatments....if at all possible...so I would just ask your onc about the options to boost your blood counts to the point where you can continue with tx! Good luck...and let us know what happens.....but don't be afraid to be your own best advocate and ASK the onc about the shots that will help boost your counts!!

Hope you both get some needed rest and will feel better quickly! Your plates have been awfully full in recent months...and eventually that takes a toll. Feel better soon. Hope the next chemos aren's so bad for you, David...and hope that Karen's enforced hiatus from work is JUST what she needs to regroup and get herself back on a healthy track! Take care....

Let the good news (and the good times) roll!! Terrific news, Sandy....I'm so happy for you. Enjoy the holidays and celebrate your *bestest* gift!

Bruce....good to hear from you! I hope you start to perk up soon, following your treatments...but I do know how the winter blahs can get to you. Everything seems so gray outside some days, doesn't it? Boy, I'd like to give you about 10 of those 25 lbs. you lost...cuz I'm 10 or so UP on the scale. I do recall that radiation sort of affected my appetite the first time...but when I had the PCI, it didn't really make me less hungry. Happy holidays to you...and I am sending you some feel better vibes so that you get past the radiation effects soon! Hope to hear a bit more from you, now that you've touched base again. Remember....when the weather is miserable outside...you can always find good company here to distract you...ok?

What's that sound? Oh....I know....it's a big sigh of relief!! Peg, don't apologize for sharing good news. We all want to have good news to share...and it does give hope to everyone to know that mistakes happen and what SEEMS like bad news can sometimes turn into good news!! This will no doubt make the holidays a little more relaxed and special. Please enjoy!! We all know how big your heart is...and that you would wish good news for everyone here, every day, if it were in your power to do so. There's nothing wrong with you getting a little good news yourself and sharing it or relishing it!

All the best to you this season, Don and Lucie...and every wish for a fabulous and healthy 2005. Or, as Linus and Mattie would say.....FLEAS NAVIDAD!!

I just had the PCI, which is really WBR but in lower doses. My rad onc told me it could be 3 mos or so before my hair would even BEGIN to come back in! I figure I'm looking at February before anything much starts to sprout up north! Helluva time of year to be without hair, I tell you! The top of my head is ALWAYS hot while the back of my head and ears are always cold! My rad onc also said that for some people, the hair loss is permanent...or that there are patches or areas where the hair doesn't come back in. If that happens.....well......let's just say I'm vibing myself for it NOT to happen. I'll vibe it for you too, TAnn. You're in good company though, being bald at Christmas. Have you got your big red bow ready to tape to your head for the Christmas photos? I do!!

Margaret.... I am hoping that lots of gentle Borzoi kisses will be your magic fix...and that you'll soon be feeling better! Know we're thinking of you....and hoping you'll be back here soon. Meanwhile, Happy Holidays....and I'm wishing the treatments go more smoothly from here on out.

Cyndy... I am so sorry. I resist checking in on this forum....as invariably when I do, I find sad news such as yours. I am glad for you and your family, that so many of you were with Tim and/or had the chance to say your goodbyes to him. I agree with you wholeheartedly, that people will only let go when they feel that things are "finished" or that they are satisfied with how things are, at that point. It's wonderful that you've got such good support from your kids and grandkids and I know Tim's funeral will be a great celebration of his life! I wish for you, that you'll continue to feel Tim around you...and all the comfort that will bring. I'll be thinking of you...hoping that all the good memories will help you through the coming days.

Hey O-Kat....good to hear from you. Glad you're still NED and doing well....but for the more emotional side of things. Hope you'll find ways to keep that in check too. Hmmmmm....would that be NEE....No Evidence of Emotions? Happy Holidays to you and yours...and hope you'll find a bit more time in 2005 to check in here! I'll be holding good thoughts for those scans on the 29th...and you'd better pop in and give us an update....ok?

Alice... A note of encouragement from me, too. You know, Dianne is a kid!! She's YOUNG...and that's part of why she's doing so great! I have a few years on Di...and you have a few more than that...so no WONDER you and I are more tired, huh? Seriously, Alice....I DO know the fatigue can be disheartening. I am normally a pretty high energy person...and it just kills me some days, to find myself completely worn out simply by showering and getting dressed!! I hope, though, that it will encourage you to know that by the time I was two weeks past the LAST PCI treatment....I found I'd perked up a bit. I still get tired some days....but then again, I've been expending more energy getting ready for the holidays....decorating, baking, shopping, knitting, wrapping and mailing stuff....etc. The key is to NOT push ourselves beyond a certain comfort zone. When I'm tired.....I spend more time on the sofa reading, watching t.v., relaxing or even napping. I'm pacing myself...in order to get thru the holidays. My big day of cooking will be the 23rd...and once everyone is fed....the REST of the family can clean up for me! I'll be on the sofa with my feet up, relaxing! Just don't fight the fatigue, Alice. Do what you have to do to get adequate rest...and know that soon it will be over, and at some point after that...you'll feel some of your energy return. Happy holidays to BOTH of you sweet ladies!!