Addie

I keep watching...and just saw Bunny's post in Hall Pass that you were coming back last night. Where are you? Hoping all is well, and thinking about you and anxious to hear from you.

I just had tx for a "head full" of brain mets. "More than a dozen" was all they said. All that is left now, is the two largest that were pretty small even in the beginning...and the radiation continues to work for a while so I'm hopeful that these two are ALSO on their way out. It's pretty scary, I'll admit...but treatable and I really didn't have much problem with side effects. A little short term memory issue and some minor balance problems....but I tend to be a klutz anyway. A brain MRI will more clearly define what your mom is dealing with....and radiation is the first line of defense. Good luck and let us know how things go...but tell your mom, the radiation is really nothing to be worried about. Getting rid of the mets is what matters!

Hey, Don....sounds like you've got your own Warrior Princess...huh? Maybe Lucie should change her name to Xena? Congrats on the great report...but then, it's no less than what we've come to expect from Lucie. Keep it up, Lucie dear....you inspire us all, every time!

Alf. 'Nuff said. I too, really enjoy Two and a Half Men. The kid is hilarious. Great comic delivery for a kid. From the old days, I really loved WKRP in Cincinnati, too....and as I went to high school with Sally Struthers, how could I not say, All in the Family? I do enjoy sit coms...a lot. It's a half hour of silliness in most cases...and I like to laugh. Taxi was another good one, Everybody loves Raymond...Mash...I even used to enjoy Three's Company!! Aw, hell...I just like to watch t.v. in the evening...although anymore, it's more reality shows.

Losing a pet is like losing a family member. There is no shame in the grieving of a pet who leaves us. I have been there many times over the years. These things seem to come in multiples....the bad news. I've come to almost expect that when one bad thing happens....another one or two is sure to follow. That doesn't, however, make them any easier to cope with. I'm so sorry about your cat...but your vet is absolutely right...sometimes the decision to let a beloved pet go, is the ultimate gift we can give...the ultimate kindness for their years of devotion. I have four little tins in my closet that hold the cremains of Jeep, Sadie, Murphey and Bobo. They will go with me when I go. Four of the best dogs ever...and I just couldn't scatter their ashes. Somehow it felt wrong. It feels much more right to have them travel with me when I go. I'm so sorry Kathi...but I know, after 17 yrs, you have lots of great memories of your cat. My best wishes to your FIL. Hang in there, honey.

Great news! Hope Mom keeps going in this - the right - direction~!!

Thanks for this, Fay. I too, was away and missed some birthdays...so then I worry about posting to some and not others. Let me just holler one big, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Y'ALL to everyone for this month. I'll try to do better later w/ the b-day threads.

I have tears in my eyes. I am so happy for Brian and Pat that they can attend this wedding. It is very much the "sweet" part of things. As for the bitter side...well, right now I just don't want to think about anything but the sweet side. I want them to go to that wedding, dance, and I want to see pictures later on. Who knows? Maybe attending this family event will spawn the miracle we all want for Brian!! Maybe by the time he gets home, the tumors will have stopped growing. Maybe a good dose of love, family and celebration will be just the ticket to turn things around. At least, that's what's in my heart right now...and I'm going to keep wishing, hoping, vibing and having my conversations with God about it. All thru the weekend, I'm just going to be having those "sweet" thoughts of and for our favorite "Brat".

In a sense, PCI and WBR are indeed the same. It might be a matter of the dosage of centiGrays.... In my case I had PCI last November. 200 cGrays per day for 13 days. In August of this year...I had a brain full of small mets so underwent more brain radiation...and again, was given the same dose...200 cGrays per day for 13 days. It's all the whole brain radiation I can have. They did irradiate my whole brain....although nobody actually referred to it as WBR...I don't know what else you'd call it. Sometimes docs get creative with terming things anyway (like the day my onc referred to the brain mets as "deposits". I had to laugh. Such a "nice" term for BRAIN TUMORS~!!!! ) Radiating the whole brain is different than gamma or laser knife, where the radiation is pinpointed to just the tumors...and gamma/laser isn't done when there are more than a very small number of tumors. The radiation done in PCI is a lesser dose, because IF one ultimately ends up with brain "deposits" , as I did, they want to still be able to radiate the whole brain. And PCI is only "preventative" for as long as a person stays in remission. Once the cancer shows up again...no matter where in the body....all bets are off on the preventative aspects of PCI. This is why the decision to have it needs much consideration. Once my cancer came back in the liver/pancreas....it left the door open to the brain tumors that were found in August and zapped, forthwith! As for side effects...yeah, my memory is a bit sketchy sometimes. I have trouble pulling up a word...or remembering a name....or even what I had for lunch yesterday. But...I'm at that age where I might be forgetting some of this stuff anyway. The key is to keep USING the brain. I do daily crossword puzzles, watch Jeopardy every night and read a lot. I sometimes do things w/ my left hand, as I am right-handed...so this uses a part of my brain not normally used. I do handcrafts too..like knitting. Try threading a needle with old eyes and clear nylon thread. It's not only good for the brain...it'll increase your vocabulary, too~!! All of these things involve the brain in some way...and are good "exercise" for the gray matter after a good zapping in the brain toaster! I have no regrets about having had the PCI. Had my cancer not come back....it may have been very effective. It sure has been for other people. Then again, I know people on these boards that chose NOT to have PCI and did just as well...are still NED. But having it is not a huge deal unless you do suffer from claustrophobia. Then being sort of "masked down to the table" may be difficult. It wasn't for me. I used the time to "image" a skeet shooter on his knee, blasting the h*ll out of my tumors. So far, it all seems to have worked. Only have two little tumors left...they are very small...and the radiation continues to work for a while. I intend to be around here for a while longer, those of you that might be hoping I'd take another vacation without a computer! Hahahaha.

In my car (which I can no longer drive till I get a Neuro's clearance - ) the dial is set to an Oldie-Moldies station. Give me the music of the 60's - into the early 70's. Even back into the late 50's. Nothing like the Beach Boys or the Doobies. Otherwise, I like some Carly Simon, some J.T. The Police, some country and have any of you heard any Eva Cassidy? Omigod.....she has the voice of an angel. And in fact, she is an angel. All her music came out posthumously. She died in her early 30's of melanoma, I believe it was. Her rendition of Songbird makes me weep.

It's great to have you back posting, Unca Dougie. We missed you. Sounds like, in the meantime, you've been having some fun even while you've also experienced a bit of the roller coaster ride that is cancer, huh? If it makes you feel any better, I lost my lower front teeth a good three years BEFORE cancer. So far, since dx, I'm hanging on to those I have left...but there are days when I have to slurp a steak thru a straw, you know? Like right after a cleaning.... Looking forward to more of your journal. It's always a great read.

Rats...I so hoped Bri would rally quickly and they'd be able to make the wedding...but the kids know they are there in heart and spirit. Thanks, Bun, for the update and be sure you express to Pat and Bri how much we all love them and are pulling for Alimta to WORK and not cause any additional problems. Dammit....this is a tough one.

I signed up for one at my onc's...but he told me they were having difficulty getting the shots because the really big outlets....like ShopRite and other retail outlets that do clinics for the shots, order in SUCH high volume (millions of the shots) that it makes it more difficult for doctors and smaller medical clinics to GET them! Makes sense, if you think of it. Suppliers will fill an order for a million, before they'll fill one for say, several thousand....eh? Anyway, I'm on the list...and I am high risk so if someplace else around here gets them and my doc doesn't...then I'll wing it. Otherwise I'm gonna assume that, like last year, my onc DID get the shots and I was able to get one there.

If there is nothing I have to go out for...then first thing is.....NO FACE! I would forego the makeup for the day (which is only about 5 mins. of eye makeup....but why bother!??) Then, I'd either work on my pins or knitting, might well remain in jammies or grubbas for the day...and watch as much golf as I can! The guys and the gals. Love to watch the women golfers...it's as good if not better, sometimes, than the PGA. I always look for a good movie I haven't seen on HBO or Showtime, too....just in case there isn't enough golf to keep me occupied. If it's a nice day...well, some outside time is great. But this time of year...give me the sofa and a warm "mingie" (what my dad called a blanket ) and a couple of dogs by my side. I'm a happy camper and if you add a ginger ale or a grape soda and some popcorn, I'm borderline ecstatic~!!

Is your mom on an anti-seizure medicine...like Dilantin? She should be, as it might keep her from any more seizures. You haven't given us a bio of your mom's history with cancer...so there are many questions to ask. Has she had any whole brain radiation (WBR)? If not, why not? Is she on steroids....like Decadron? Pill form? Does she drink enough liquids daily to stay well hydrated? I just finished WBR for multiple mets to my brain. I am also on a chemo that does cross the blood/brain barrier...and although I had multiple brain mets, all of them were pretty small. The largest being just 1 cm. Following radiation, it is now only 4 mm but reduced in 'volume' by about 80% according to my rad onc. Oral decadron made me madder than a wet hen! I hated the stuff but I tolerate the infusions of Decadron I get during chemo just fine! I drink upwards of a liter of water daily...to make sure I stay hydrated. Being dehydrated can make a person act weird too! I don't know why there is nothing left to do for your mom and her brain mets...but again, I don't have all the info on what's already BEEN done for her. I would make sure your dad knows the right questions to ask if he's the one who takes her to her appointments. And....I'd consider getting another opinion before just giving up. If her personality is changing this much...there has to be something that can be done. FWIW, I have had whole brain radiation twice....once last year for 13 days, as "preventative treatment". Once my cancer came back, it found it's way to my brain anyway. So much for the preventative treatment. So more recently, I had another 13 days of WBR. which pretty much took care of the dozen or more small tumors that were up there. And while I am tired and get a little grumpy some days because of it ...neither the tumors NOR the WBR has really changed me much. Somebody needs to talk to your mom's doctor and if he's ready to give up...then perhaps getting another opinion is necessary and pronto, before mom gets even worse. It just makes me uncomfortable that her doc is giving up on the brain mets. Ask about Temodar or even Topotecan. Both cross the blood/brain barrier and might help reduce the brain tumors. Best of luck to you. I'm sorry you're all having to go thru this difficult time.

Add me to the list of people sending nothing but healing thoughts your way. I am so happy Brian got some pain relief and hope you will get some much needed sleep, now that you know he'll be well tended to in the hospital. I like his doc's sense of humor ...and hope he does indeed find enough "wiggle room" to get Brian back on his feet and able to attend the wedding. Thanks for the update, Pat. Know you have the "power of everything good at lchelp" behind you, hon...and hang in there. Let us know, when you can, how things are going. Best thoughts and wishes coming your way.....

Summagun, Beck...you snuck this one in just before we left on our trip west and I missed it till now! Major congrats, dear one....I'm so glad you're still schmoozing with NEDley. Glad, but not surprised. Keep up the good work, ya hear? Love you....

Late to find this...but no less enthusiastic! A great, big, rootin' tootin' YIPPEE SKIPPEEEE!!!

Aw.....dammitall. There is never a good time for any of this...but I SO want you and Bri to be able to attend the wedding and feel good while doing so. Know that I hold you both gently in my heart and thoughts, hoping the CT shows what's going on and that the doc comes up with a quick fix for it. You guys deserve so much better than this...and I really want to see pix of the both of you dancing at the wedding. Sending all my best and hoping for some hopeful news from the scan results....

Butterfingers. SweetTarts. Junior Mints (or Mimps, as one adorable little 4 y/old used to call them ) Let's see....Sugar Babies used to make me happy too. And Milky Ways, but not Snickers cuz they had peanuts in them. Never like to mix nuts with chocolate....I'm a purist! Even Bazooka Bubble Gum was good. The last thing I wanted was a d*mn bag of raisins! I always wondered what made people think THAT was a "treat"??

I'm so sorry, Millie, that you're at this stage. But I cannot help but smile at the wonderful memories you are making and how, even now, your mom continues to give her love to all of you and you, back to her. Sending you wishes for strength and peace and continued love and memories.

Don.... This post is wonderful. It's such an expression of your spirit and your survivorship. You know, part of what works or doesn't work, I think, is in the BELIEVING that it will work! Of course, some good common sense things to do to take care of ourselves helps a lot. And your message is full of such things. I never realized what you said about thin skinned fruits...but I can tell you that the one fruit I've eaten even thru chest rad, was cantaloup. I still crave it sometimes! I do eat an apple once in a while but I cut the skin off. I'm so pleased you are doing well...and I'm going to print out your advice. I'm not saying I can or will follow it all...but so much of it is sensible and easy, that I'll beef up my efforts. Love your comment about the fat cow...AND until our recent trip west and a loss of just 4-5 lbs, my weight has stayed stable and I work at keeping it that way! Thanks again for your great advice! Stay well.

How'd I miss this one? Congrats, Rich! So pleased to hear your good news...and keep it up, will ya? Hey, Maryanne...can I get in on that deal too, at the Pub? I'll buy the next round!!

I got 18 too. Missed #4 - two colors on the Campbell's soup can, #7-the matches (hey, I used a lighter. Whaddaya want from me? ), #9...I listen to FM, #17 - what do I know from lug nuts and why AREN'T there 6 - a nice even number?, #20 - I still say some hot dog buns are in packs of 10, two more than the 8 pack of hot dogs, #21 - should know...but thought it was the Joker, and #22 - because some of the newer blinds DO have it on the right (as it did out in the house we just stayed in, in Oregon!) Not bad for a women who just had her head in the toaster, eh? I love tests like this...and the rad onc people keep telling me it's really good to test my brain. I had trouble w/ the crossword puzzle this morning...so feel I've sort of "redeemed" myself here. Thanks, Ann.

I feel your pain, Cindy. My youngest is still with his first and only girlfriend. Seven years now. She is a royal pain in my tuckus (sp?) Won't even walk into a room if my hubby and I are in it, unless my son is also there. Like we are ogres. My son is the most tolerant guy ever born, I think (obviously!) He acknowledges how high maintenance his girl is and lately, I think the "bloom is off the rose" a bit, in terms of his feelings towards the relationship. But they still live together. I've already expressed my concerns to him...so in the past year, since they moved in together...I ask after her...how's her job going, etc....and that's it. But let me tell you, it ain't easy being quiet. I can see the handwriting all over the wall. I'm talking major graffiti here...and can only hope he's starting to get a more realistic picture too! I mean, ask yourself how "impressed" a potential future MIL would be if the girl sits at the dinner table after a meal and WAITS for someone else to clear her dishes? (The Princess Lives! ) I raised my kids to understand that looks come and go, passion fades and fortunes come and go, too. Marry for the right reasons. Find someone with similar values....someone stable, reliable and trustworthy. Someone with character and integrity. Someone willing to pitch in a bit and make an effort with your family, too. Someone who hasn't been raised as "The Princess" in her family. The oldest one finally got the message. We adore his fiancee. But #2 son? Well, all I can do is hope she shoots herself in the foot...which it appears she may be doing. Does it make me a bad person to WISH for that?