Suzie Q

Oh, Beth! I am so saddened to hear this news. Rest assured your LCSC family is encircling you in loving sympathy and we're here for you. I wish you and your family peace. deepest condolances. ~Suz

So sad for your loss. Mother loss can be a very deep and cruel pain. I pray for your healing and continued peace in accepting her passing. ~Suz

My dad did not have lung cancer. He had melanoma. But my mom has lung ca, so I hope you don't mind my post here. My dad valiantly battled the BEAST. He won eternal life this past Sunday. Mr. James Hansknecht, age 65, went to be with his Lord, January 15, 2006 after a courageous fight with Melanoma. His father, Leo and sister-in-law Pamela preceded him into eternal life. His memory will be kept by his wife of 41 years, Barbara, children: Kenneth (Robin), Stephen (Terri), Karen (Steven, and Matthew (Lisa); nine grandchildren, his mother, Wanda; brothers John (Renae) and Michael and nieces Rechelle and Tonya. The family would like to thank Dr. Enrico Sobong, Dr. Timothy Fitzgerald, the nurses and staff at the Lacks Cancer Center, and the nurses and staff from Hospice of Michigan as well as caregiver Cathy Yanke for their care and compassion in helping Jim battle the beast. Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated Wednesday at 11 a.m. at St. Jude’s Church, 1120 Four Mile NE with Rev. Michael Danner celebrant. I will love you forever and always, Dad!

I can't tell you what to do. No one can make the decision for you. Do you fear seeing anyone in a casket? Have you been to a wake with open casket before? Sometimes seeing a loved one one last time can help finalize the goodbye process. At other times, it can be traumatic, depending on the individual. My dad just passed on Sunday. I can relate to your loss. You have my sympathies.

In order of favorite-ness: Thin mints Samoas (are these the same as caramel delights?) peanut butter sandwich peanut butter patties trefoil shortbreads Which means, there aren't many I don't like! Guess I'm on board with Jim!

Lori, Well, at least the surgery is water under the bridge. The reason they want her flat is to get the air to dissipate. If they elevate her head, it will collect at the uppermost part of her brain and give her a WHOPPING headache. But you are right - don't want pneumonia, either! I think the he spiro thing is the spirometer. It had little balls in it and the patient has to suck in through the mouthpiece and get the balls to the top of the device. It forces deep inspiration which helps prevent pneumonia. Not much you can do if she's not alert enough to use it. Hope she continues to progress. ~Suz

Frank, you're busted!! I heard this one, but it was a blonde, not Pres. Bush!

Shari, My dad had RT for melanoma mets in the small intestine after he had stabilized and was discharged from the hospital. He went daily M-F for 5 weeks. The first week was ok, but the nausea hit after that. Anti-nausea meds helped a bit. The tumor stopped bleeding, BTW.

I highly recommend the books, "Final Gifts" (I don't recall the author) and "Motherless Daughters," by Hope Edelman. The first book is about how to respond and help a loved one who is nearing death. The second book is geared more for women who lose their mothers at an early age, but it's a great read for women of any age. Definitely find out what Hospice has to offer. They help the family as well as the patient.

Please accept my heartfelt sympathies.

Deepest condolences. Your dad was blessed to have such a caring daughter,

Andrea, I wouldn't worry - it could be something as simple as the office had to call you with another physician's name and decided to mention your results were in. It's possible the doctor hadn't seen them yet and the PA was just letting you know they were in! Don't waste your weekend with worry - go out and enjoy it. Hit the pub first! ~Suz

Ginny, OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!! Do we have toget out the bus? We'll all head over to meet your guy! I think Bunny should conduct the interview. She's a good judge of character. And I hear she's wicked at poking sticks!

Make mine sex on the Beach, followed by Tiny's Orgasma (but make it a double)!

Carleen, First, let me say that I'm a big fan of babies. I was one once. But like it has been said before, kids are a full-time job and care-giving is a full-time job. You cannot do it all unless you have a supreme support system. I won't give you thumbs up or down; I'll give you food for thought. Babies and young children can brighten our lives. They have such innocence, optimism and energy. They make us laugh and get us to loosen up about a lot of things. And they can challenge us and strain us to the breaking point. And pregnancy can be complicated and high-risk, and children can be born with or acquire problems that are difficult to manage. Can you do it alone if Keith's health declines? I mean, what if you got pregnant with multiples? Not too uncommon in IVF, and depending on how aggressive the doctor is, if they put more than 4 embryos in the uterus, you could have a high-order multiple scenario. Also, spontaneous twinning of implanted embryos can occur, too. Would you be willing to consider selective reduction? I know it's taboo to talk about such things, but I believe all couples should know where their boundaries are BEFORE they get into that situation. This way, you can tell the doc: "You know, we just will not do selective termination, so do not place more than 3 (or whatever number limit) embryos." Also, consider what you would do with the remaining frozen embryos, should there be any. Know what your plan of action is in advance, so you do not have to make a decision in a state of emotional turmoil. Are you both emotionally strong enough to deal with the possibility of a failed IVF attempt or pregnancy loss? I also must speak to you as the daughter of two cancer patients. My dear mother is caregiver to my dad, who is end-stage melanoma. My mom has essentially been on chemo since diagnosis of stave IV NSCLC in April of 2004. She has neuropathy and difficulty breathing, fatigue, etc, so she needs assistance in caring for my dad. Yes, hospice helps but someone must be there 24-7. I wish I could help more but I have 2 preschoolers to take care of and my availability is limited. There are many, many times that I have thought how much more help I would be if we had no children. Not that I want to give my kids up, not at all, but if all this had happened 4 years ago, I would have quit my job and been more available. Maybe then my mom would not have been hospitalized for two weeks this past summer with intractible headache pain (probably stress- and chemo-related). It is extremely common for caregivers to have a major medical problem during or after caring for someone terminally ill. When Keith's time comes, you as a healthy person will need respite, too. I can't imagine what stresses a new baby (or babies) would add to an already stressful situation. You talk of having some piece of Keith to carry on after he's gone. Well, I'm an adoptive mom, so if I lost my husband I would not have that "something" of him to hold onto. I never will. But I'm ok with that. Perhaps because I already have grieved that loss, I don't know. But it's ok. Don't be pressured by time to jump into any decision about trying for pregnancy. Think about how you would handle or plan for the possibilities and gauge that against your (as a couple) desire to have a child. Pray about it together. You will make the best decision with His loving help. My best to you, ~Suz PS: I babysit, too, but I don't transport.

Deepest sympathies to you and your family in your sorrow and loss. God grant perpetual life unto him. May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed rest in peace. ~Suzie Q

Sometimes I'm a little of both! Mostly I'm a born shopper, but there are times when I just grab something and wrap it! I recently had the pleasure of mall shopping without my munchkins. It was great, except that I had to carry all the packages instead of sliding them into the stroller like I usually do - wow! What a difference. I should have just brought the darn stroller for carrying the parcels. Course, when you do that, you wind up NOT finding anything to purchase. And I would look foolish pushing an empty stroller. ~Suz

Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

Frank, are you a former altar boy?

Oh my goodness! You've found grandma's lost dentures!

Try a search for "ascites" either on this forum or Google. You may find something about the valve and recirculation. Best wishes andprayers being offered for you. ~Suz

Lori, Is there any chance you can discuss with her how to give her back some control? It really sounds like some of her rage may be rooted in the loss of control over so many aspects of her daily living. How can she be given choices daily? What things can she still do - can she cook, balance checkbook, pay bills, etc.? I'm sure she does feel trapped and cooped up. Would she like to go for a drive, maybe see some Christmas lights? Yes, I know it will be a huge project to get her up & about, but maybe a change of routine and venue might help. Has she discussed funeral planning? Some people have a hard time talking about it, but many find relief and comfort in knowing everything has been taken care of and that THEY got to choose the burial site (or internment of cremains), service music & readings and everything else that goes with it. Of course, you run the risk of having her accuse you of rushing her off to the graveyard! I hope you take comfort in knowing that you are handling this very well. Warm fuzzies to you! ~Suz

I smiled and pumped my fist in the air when I learned that my 4-year-old's "Flopsy Mopsy" was no longer missing, but is just waiting for a trip back home from the hotel she inadvertantly left him at this past weekend.

Greensleeves (What Child is This?) and O Holy Night, even if it is a bear to sing - I don't have that much vocal range! ~Suzie

Liquid form of Immodium might be more effective than the pill form. Also, Lomotil (prescription) can help. Avoid Pepto - don't know why, but mom's onc said not to take it. Be sure he drinks as much fluid as possible, and be watchful for signs of dehydration. ~Suz