dchurchwell Posted October 27, 2004 Share Posted October 27, 2004 Hello - my mother was diagnosed with SCLC in June 04. She is on a clinical trial and has already been through chemotherapy and radiation and is about to start Avastin. The problem is she's STILL smoking. Granted, she has cut way back but how do you get her to stop? I know that the addiction is terrible and that quitting is probably harder but faced with the option of death and never seeing my grandchildren again, I hope I would be able to lay them down. Anyway, can anyone offer suggestions on her quitting? I know it's something that she can only do but my family is here to offer support. One month prior to her diagnosis with cancer, my father had five bypasses. That made him quit cold-turkey after 50 years. My mom is "hanging" out with a bad crowd from the Oncologist office. One SCLC survivor tells her that she continued to smoke while on the same clinical trial and still smokes and that her cancer was cured. So, with that info in mind, my mom uses that as a crutch to support her smoking. It's unfair to all who love her and pray for her recovery everyday and worry relentless about her. She has to be active in her recovery too and not just participate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted October 27, 2004 Share Posted October 27, 2004 You can do nothing. The ball is in your mother's court. My father stopped cold turkey due to a triple bypass - he's smoking again. Nothing I have done, nothing I can do. Make sure her doctor knows she continues to smoke, but beyond that...well, she's a big girl. She has to decide when (if) she's going to quit and no matter how much you beg, bargain, whine, threaten, etc., nothing will change until she decides to change it... Good luck. Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jean44 Posted October 27, 2004 Share Posted October 27, 2004 So sorry to hear about your Mom having cancer and also sad to hear that she is still smoking. I agree with Becky that ultimately, it is your Mom's decision and there is really nothing you can do except support her on this difficult journey. I was fortunate that when my Dad was diagnosed (the day he was diagnosed) he stopped smoking. His oncologist told him that the chemo and radiation would work better if he was NOT smoking. But, Dad made the decision on his own to quit. We lost him 11 months after diagnosis. Good luck to your Mom. I will keep her and your family in my prayers. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebsSky Posted October 27, 2004 Share Posted October 27, 2004 Hi dchurchwell: You are absolutely correct, your mother should quit. When my mom was brought from a smaller centre to the city via ambulance for her initial consult with her Oncologist, she was still smoking as sick as she was. We spoke to one of the nurses at the centre and she told us that it is crucial to her recovery that she quit. Since that fateful day, my mother has quit, thank God for that! She is now a hardcore non-smoker!! What we did was to sit her down with the nurse and explain to her how much we wanted her around and we had all seven of her grandchildren there to back us up. The event was tearful to say the least, but by doing it we accomplished something we never thought possible, which was her quitting right then and there. She realized then how very much we all cared and loved her and that we wanted her here for as long as possible. I don't think she ever realized the gravity of the situation and how hard it was on all concerned including the kids until then. Just something to think about. I hope that you can find a way to get it across to her how very important it is to her recovery. One other thing the Onc. told us was that if she continued to smoke, the cancer would almost undoubtedly return full force. Take care, Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchwell Posted October 27, 2004 Author Share Posted October 27, 2004 Hi Becky, Thank you for your reply. I love the pic of your little "Dragon Slayer". It's precious. My 9 year old daughter had to do a drawing of "If I become a scientist, I will...." for her science class. She drew a picture of herself in a laboratory holding the vial for "cure for cancer" she had discovered. She dedicated it to my mom. Of course, we all had a good cry over that. Children.....they are so wonderful! I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis of cancer. How scary, especially since you have never smoked. Do they know "how" you contracted the cancer? I see where you posted that you weren't impressed with MD Anderson. We had actually spoken with them this week about coming to them and trying a different treatment but were advised that the Avastin treatment my mom will soon be getting was the 'way to go' now and that they couldn't even get the Avastin there. Hang in there. Prayer is a powerful thing! And I'm sure there are lots of prayers going up for you as I have just said one for you. Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchwell Posted October 27, 2004 Author Share Posted October 27, 2004 Hi Deb, Thank you for your reply. Wow! Had I only came across this site before today. It feels "good" to release and share with others who have experienced the same though I'm sorry that any of us are having to experience this. But it's nice to know there is someone there when you need them. Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchwell Posted October 27, 2004 Author Share Posted October 27, 2004 Hi Jean, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. I actually had to accept a few years ago the fact that I could do nothing about my mom quitting and had to come to peace with that so I would stop worrying. I finally did but of course the hope that they will stop is always there. Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schmaydee Posted October 27, 2004 Share Posted October 27, 2004 i really hope she quits.... .... but we have a 15-25% chance of living 5yrs.... most of us will die w/in 1-2.......i hate that and i wish it wasnt so.....and i'm not trying to depress anyone.....if she's been through chemo/rad and the cancer has come back, i dont think quitting now is gonna save her.....if she wants to smoke (or dance naked at wal-mart) i wouldnt bug the crap out of her to stop.....i'd support her whatever she wanted to do for whatever time she has left...... ........s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchwell Posted October 27, 2004 Author Share Posted October 27, 2004 Hi, Well we're just in the early phases of her cancer. We haven't gotten to remission yet; still trying to cure the original tumor. We haven't completed treatment yet so yeah quitting smoking would surely help her in her recovery. However, I do agree with you that if there wasn't a chance of her cure, then by all means she should dance naked in Walmart (but I doubt she would; she really hates going to that place) so I'd have to find her another place to "hang out". Take care of yourself and give yourself a big ole hug! Someone loves U! Donna i really hope she quits........ but we have a 15-25% chance of living 5yrs.... most of us will die w/in 1-2.......i hate that and i wish it wasnt so.....and i'm not trying to depress anyone.....if she's been through chemo/rad and the cancer has come back, i dont think quitting now is gonna save her.....if she wants to smoke (or dance naked at wal-mart) i wouldnt bug the crap out of her to stop.....i'd support her whatever she wanted to do for whatever time she has left...... ........s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted October 27, 2004 Share Posted October 27, 2004 Donna,I had (and have ) a hard time quitting as did others here.What did it for me was the surgeon came in room after removing my left lung and said I had a chance of beating this if I quit NOW.If not he assured me it would come rite back most probably,& he would not appreciate me messing up his good work.!! I had already quit a few months prior but cause of him I still haven't had one.None of my family could make me quit,all it did was cause bad feelings tween us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchwell Posted October 27, 2004 Author Share Posted October 27, 2004 Way to go Frank in quitting smoking. The doctor told my mom the same thing but unfortunately she's a little more hardheaded (stubborn) in quitting. Best of luck! I'll see ya when we reach 100! Donna Donna,I had (and have ) a hard time quitting as did others here.What did it for me was the surgeon came in room after removing my left lung and said I had a chance of beating this if I quit NOW.If not he assured me it would come rite back most probably,& he would not appreciate me messing up his good work.!! I had already quit a few months prior but cause of him I still haven't had one.None of my family could make me quit,all it did was cause bad feelings tween us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dani hobbs Posted October 27, 2004 Share Posted October 27, 2004 My sis, who has sclc, quit smoking about 8 years ago, then started again. She has just never been able to beat the nicotine addiction, hard as she's tried. But since she was diagnosed & started treatment, she uses Nicorette gum--the patch never worked for her, and stopped smoking. She's says the gum, which she used before when trying to quit, helps a lot with the urge to smoke. My husband quit smoking 10 years ago, thank God, but it was on his own volition, completely his decision--and that was what made him stop, i.e., not what anyone else said, not even our daughter, who was tiny then. Maybe your mom could try the gum, especially since it's over-the-counter now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchwell Posted October 27, 2004 Author Share Posted October 27, 2004 Hi Dani, Thank you for sharing with me. I know it's a hard thing for some people to beat. I even tried bribing my parents with NO grandkids for them until they quit. But as I kept getting older and OLDER and they had still not stopped smoking, I thought "Whoa.....who am I starting to hurt here now?" The grandkids have asked and begged my mom to quit too. She's tried the nicotine gum, the patch, counseling, hypnosis and even acupuncture to no avail. My sis, who has sclc, quit smoking about 8 years ago, then started again. She has just never been able to beat the nicotine addiction, hard as she's tried. But since she was diagnosed & started treatment, she uses Nicorette gum--the patch never worked for her, and stopped smoking. She's says the gum, which she used before when trying to quit, helps a lot with the urge to smoke. My husband quit smoking 10 years ago, thank God, but it was on his own volition, completely his decision--and that was what made him stop, i.e., not what anyone else said, not even our daughter, who was tiny then. Maybe your mom could try the gum, especially since it's over-the-counter now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schmaydee Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 oh yeah.... i smoked 3-5 packs a day (seriously)... started when i was 13 (i'm 49 now)..... i quit when i was dx'd in june... i was so sick w/pnuemonia,collapsed lung,then chemo radiation etc i really didnt have that hard of a time....i used the patch for a week or two. i completed chemo/rad about 4 weeks ago and i'm feeling really good now....but now i'm starting to get the urge... i dont think i'll start back as long as everything is going well but if i get mets elsewhere or cant get rid of the cancer in my lung (i'll find out about that tomorrow) there's a real good chance i'll start back..... ...s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchwell Posted October 28, 2004 Author Share Posted October 28, 2004 I just said a prayer for you and your family asking that you all receive GREAT news tomorrow and that all of you will sleep peaceful and rested tonight. Please let me know what you find out. Thanks, Donna oh yeah.... i smoked 3-5 packs a day (seriously)... started when i was 13 (i'm 49 now)..... i quit when i was dx'd in june... i was so sick w/pnuemonia,collapsed lung,then chemo radiation etc i really didnt have that hard of a time....i used the patch for a week or two. i completed chemo/rad about 4 weeks ago and i'm feeling really good now....but now i'm starting to get the urge... i dont think i'll start back as long as everything is going well but if i get mets elsewhere or cant get rid of the cancer in my lung (i'll find out about that tomorrow) there's a real good chance i'll start back..... ...s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dani hobbs Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 I did forget to add in my earlier post--that I have read studies that have proven that continuing to smoke after beginning treatment for lung cancer impedes the ability of the treatment to slow the disease. But then, again, it is such a powerful addiction, as I have witnessed, and no reflection on the character of those who are under its power. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 Can't add much to all the previous posts, just my hope and wish that your mother can kick the smoking. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchwell Posted October 28, 2004 Author Share Posted October 28, 2004 Hi Jackie, Thank you so much for your well wishes. It has helped me so much in being able to communicate with others who have loved ones dealing with this disease too. I'm sorry for your loss. I know he's watching over you. Donna Can't add much to all the previous posts,just my hope and wish that your mother can kick the smoking. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDianneB Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 I was told that while being treated with chemo and/or radiation, if you are still smoking, your windpipe is impeded from cleaning itself like it's supposed to, so you get less benefit of the treatment. A healthy non-smoker, for example, will have itty-bitty hair-like thingies (that's a highly technical term for those of you unfamiliar ) that automatically clean out the windpipe when you're sleeping. Smoking destroys those thingies, so the person has to cough to get the windpipe cleaned out -- thus the "smoker's cough." When you get gunk in your lungs and are being treated and trying to clear it out, you will cough and cough up icky stuff to help that process, but if you're smoking, you're negating part of the therapy, as your body has to try and keep the gunk from the cigs cleaned out too. Having said all that, I totally understand the "urges." I often wonder too if things had gone in the other direction and my condition became dire if I'd be smoking myself. Anyone struggling with this certainly has my support for the strength it takes to quit, if that's what they choose. Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchwell Posted October 28, 2004 Author Share Posted October 28, 2004 Thank you Dianne for the information. I am passing everyone's posts to my mom via email in hopes something great will also come from it. I wish you continued success in your treatment and may God bless you. Donna I was told that while being treated with chemo and/or radiation, if you are still smoking, your windpipe is impeded from cleaning itself like it's supposed to, so you get less benefit of the treatment. A healthy non-smoker, for example, will have itty-bitty hair-like thingies (that's a highly technical term for those of you unfamiliar ) that automatically clean out the windpipe when you're sleeping. Smoking destroys those thingies, so the person has to cough to get the windpipe cleaned out -- thus the "smoker's cough."When you get gunk in your lungs and are being treated and trying to clear it out, you will cough and cough up icky stuff to help that process, but if you're smoking, you're negating part of the therapy, as your body has to try and keep the gunk from the cigs cleaned out too. Having said all that, I totally understand the "urges." I often wonder too if things had gone in the other direction and my condition became dire if I'd be smoking myself. Anyone struggling with this certainly has my support for the strength it takes to quit, if that's what they choose. Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellakc2 Posted October 29, 2004 Share Posted October 29, 2004 Sorry but there is absolutely nothing you can do for her. The light bulb moment has not happened yet and may never. Just pray. Make sure the Dr. knows. Good luck and take care! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted October 29, 2004 Share Posted October 29, 2004 I wish I had the magic cure for not smoking!!! I quit the day I went into the hospital for my biopsies. I made it about a year, I never felt normal-crazy huh? I did start again, not nearly as much and the Dr knows. He did say I may have breathing difficulties later but so far I really have not. THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT IT IS PROBABLY BETTER TO QUIT. I just wanted to feel normal-the cancer had changed my life so much that the one thing I fell back to was the smoking. I am doing well-Thank God. More power to those of you who have quit! Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchwell Posted October 29, 2004 Author Share Posted October 29, 2004 Hello Cindy, WAY TO GO on your 15 mos remission!!!!! God is good! All the time! I wish you all of his continued blessings upon you. Donna I wish I had the magic cure for not smoking!!! I quit the day I went into the hospital for my biopsies. I made it about a year, I never felt normal-crazy huh? I did start again, not nearly as much and the Dr knows. He did say I may have breathing difficulties later but so far I really have not. THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT IT IS PROBABLY BETTER TO QUIT. I just wanted to feel normal-the cancer had changed my life so much that the one thing I fell back to was the smoking. I am doing well-Thank God. More power to those of you who have quit! Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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