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I have posted on the SCLC board for around 9 mths. My father Daryll Miller died Sunday January 16th @ 12:36am. I miss him dearly.

You see, I was married on the Saturday before. January 15th. Dad had been battling this beast for a long time. I moved the wedding date up to make sure he could be there. He had been feeling worse and worse since Christmas. As selfish as it sounds, I needed him to take me down the isle. Although he couldn't walk, my brother-in-law pushed him down the isle. i was greatful he could be there. Dad was in a lot of pain that night, and it took him a while to get ready. My sister and Dad were even 5 minutes late. I was getting so ried. My new husband and I agreed it wasn't a good time to take a honeymoon, so we were still in town when my sisters called. He died at my house, it was very quick.

He never wanted to be in the hospital., or hooked up to machines, or have his daughters change him.

I am happy for him to be out of so so much pain. He died the way he wanted to.

I miss him. I almost picked up the phone Thursday to call him and see how he was doing.

He would have been 50 years old on January 28th.

Not even 50 years old yet.

Seems so unfair.

He was my best friend.

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I don't think it was selfish of you to want your dad to take you down the aisle for your wedding. He obviously wanted to be there for you since he held on for it! I'm sure he wanted you to have a wonderful memory of him on such a special day! Although you are hurting, know that I and others pray for your dad and your family! Treasure your wonderful wedding memories and here is to alot more wonderful memories with your new husband!

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So sorry to hear you lost your Dad he was much to young. It was wonderful that he made it to your wedding. Of course he will always be in your heart and memories. I pray for you and your family for peace. Donna G

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I hadn't notice that your dad was so young. Yes, it is very sad, no matter what age.

It is ok that you wanted him to take you down the aisle. It was better that way. If not, you would have always felt bad that he didn't get to do that one thing that he wanted to do - give away his beautiful daughter to the man she loved.

May God comfort you now and forever!



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I am so very sorry that you lost your dear Dad. This all must be very hard for you. I hope that you can find some comfort that he was able to be there with you on the happiest day of your life. I am sure it meant the world to him to be there for you. I know there are no words to take away your pain. I hope that someday, you will find peace in the memories of your Dad. Take care of yourself at this difficult time.

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What an absolutely bittersweet time in your life. I hope you find peace in knowing that your father spent his last moments doing something he probably dreamed about since the day you were born. I am sure that he was most proud to have been able to escort you down the aisle to your new husband. My sincere condolences to you and your family during this painful time.

Love and prayers,

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  • 4 weeks later...

I wish I didn't know how you feel. But I do. My dad died on February 13, and I am having a terrible time with it. Really, I seem to get more depressed and sad by the day. I was in a meeting yesterday, and all I could do was imagine that my dad would appear at the door of the conference room and take me for a walk. It was the most improbable day dream, but I kept imagining he would come get me and he would tell me that he had only a few hours, but we could spend them together.

But I can relate so well because one small detail I keep obsessing about is that my dad will never see me married. I am in a very long-term, serious relationship with a wonderful man - a man that my dad *loved* and hoped I would marry. I have been a little difficult about marriage, wondering (for most of my twenties) whether it was something I needed to do in my life. But lately, as its become obvious that I will get married, I am really upset that my dad won't be there. Being walked down the aisle by my cheerful dad in his bow tie all of a sudden seems impossibly important, and I can't imagine how I will ever be able to have a ceremony at all. My dad loved to dance! How will I ever dance at my wedding without him? It seems at this point in my mourning that I will never have joy again in my life, that everything is so trivial.

Sorry for the self pity. I am just stuck in a swamp of heartache right now and can't seem to see any light.


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