CAREAK Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 HELLO, IM NEW TO THIS BOARD. MY MOTHER IN LAW WAS DIAGNOSED WITH NSCLC STAGE 4 WITH METS TO BONE IN NOV 04. SINCE ALL HER CHILDREN ARE GROWN AND LIVING AWAY FROM HER WE HAVE BROUGHT HER TO LIVE IN OUR HOME. HER PROGNOSIS IS NOT GOOD, 6-9 MONTHS THEY SAY. SINCE MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE TO CONTINUE TO WORK, WE HAVE ARRANGED FOR HER TO BE TAKEN TO SOME OF HER TREATMENTS BY THE "ROAD TO RECOVERY" PROGRAM, THEY ARE VOLUNTEER DRIVERS FOR THE AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY. SHE THINKS THIS IS MEAN AND CRUEL TO HAVE SOMEONE TAKE HER THAT SHE DOESNT KNOW. WE HAVE NOTICED THAT SHE HAS VERY BAD MOOD SWINGS, AND WHEN SHE IS HAVING ONE OF HER MOMENTS CAN BE PRETTY MEAN AND HURTFUL. WE HAVE ALSO HAD A FEW EPISODE OF HER TELLING US THINGS AND THEN WE FIND OUT LATER THAT IT WASNT TRUE. WE ARENT SURE IF SHE REALLY BELIEVES WHAT SHE IS TELLING US OR IF IT COULD BE THAT HER CANCER MAY BE STARTING TO AFFECT HER BRAIN. HAS ANYONE HAS ANY SIMILAR SITUATIONS WITH A CANCER PATIENT, OR CAN GIVE US SOME TIPS ON WHAT TO WATCH FOR IF IT DOES SPREAD TO HER BRAIN? SHE JUST DOESNT SEEM TO BE HERSELF. CARRIE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Hi Carrie, Sorry you have to be here and your MIL has been stricken with this awful disease. .. 1. Has she had any treatments? 2.Talk to her oncologist and/or Primary Care doctor and tell them what is going on. 3.Is she on steroids. They can change a person's personality. Mood swings, increased appetite. 4. Has she had an MRI of the brain. Did you get a 2nd opinion? You have come to a great place to ask questions. I am sure you'll get a lot of reponses and ideas. Please keep us posted on how evrything is going and come here often for support and help. Hope this helps a little... God Bless and prayers, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Hi Carrie, Sorry you had to come to this site. But you have the best people here. I really cannot answer your question, but their are a lot of people here who can. But you are going to have to give more information on your MIL condition. Even though she has stage IV it does not have to mean a death sentence. Do not get hung up on statistics as people here have beaten the odds time and time again. I am sure she is so depressed as her whole life has been turned around. To many changes, it must be so frightening for her. And also for you as I know you are doing your best to cope with this situation. She may just need some anti-depressants that will make her more comfortable. You will hear from many on this site that can help you better then me. So sorry for your situation. I really hope it improves for eveyone involved. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Hi, Carrie, and welcome. First, yes, it is normal to have mood swings with cancer, and through treatments for cancer. Second, the prognosis is statistical, and each person is different -- my wife was given 9 months and she is still around after 28 months. I wish you, your mom and family well through this. This forum has much support and info, so avail yourself, and keep us posted. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Hi Carrie~ First let me tell you not to feel guilty about using the Road to Recovery program for your MIL. When my husband was going to radiation treatments, we ran into patients being transported by them and they all seemed to have a good time together. The volunteers are wonderful and seem to treat everyone very special. She will most likely make some friends. She is very fortunate that you have taken her in. Hang in there. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Hi Carrie, I'm a stage 4 nsclc patient and was given only a short time to live.After almost 2 years I have ups and downs but am still doing ok. Mood swings are pretty common for most lc patients.It is a scary and hard to do thing for patients and caregivers alike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Carrie, If your Mother In Law is receiving steroids then the hyper emotional state may be a result of those drugs. As far as having help transporting her to treatments via Road To Recovery is concerned: If her objections are only that you are not driving her there, then that's a bit unreasonable. But something you may want to consider is that she may be feeling that she needs you there to help her understand what is going on, or -and I mean this as a highly unusual occurance-someone involved in her treatment is not treating her well. Just some things to consider...and she is very fortunate that you have taken her in. And I would have personally LOVED something like Road To Recovery...I drove myself to most of my chemo and radiation treatments, and there were quite a few days when I really didn't want to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Welcome Carrie. I am so glad they you found us. I agree with all the above info, and just want to add just being told you have CANCER and you will not survive is a huge stresser. It is also a cause for people to go into "mourning". The stages of grief include anger. She may well be greiving the loss of health, the loss of plans, the loss of future, etc. Please keep us posted on how you and she are doing. Donna G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Karen My tumour created a calcium imbalance, and I was told later that the symptoms included irrational behavior and confusion. My kids refer to that as my "eccentric" period. There are a number of reasons this could be happening. She could just be terrified. It is always advisable to have someone go with you to appointments to hear for you and write things down. Often people use tape recorders, because the emotional filter on what you hear in the doctors office is pretty strong. Good luck to your MIL. XOXOX Prayers, MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enyaw061032 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Hi, Karen: In my opinion, it is common for lung cancer victims to have mood swings. The many kinds of anxiety are there: every ache, every pain, every treatment, is full of worry: does this mean my cancer is worse: is this new ache another cancer; is the cancer spreading; is the treatment worth it, the nausea, fear, and so on. I believe that cancer victims need a little extra love, understanding and support. It is hard enough to have the monster cancer to worry about, but not having sufficient emotional support is hard to accept. Perhaps, whether justified or not, she feels neglected, even though the group taking her for her treatments are nice. I would try to talk to your mother-in-law and see how important who drives her to and from her treatments are and see if there are other issues. Many people work around their job to take their spouses, loved ones, or relatives to and from regular doctor and dental visits or for cancer treatment. Perhaps that sacrifice is not too great or could be compromised by taking her some of the time. Talk to her about that, and that alone might make her feel more secure and happy. It is wonderful of you and your husband to take your mother-in-law and his mother in and try to care for her; but the important thing to remember, it is not just having a place to stay that is important to a lung cancer victim, but having the love, support, and help that makes the real big difference. And I know at the same time that some people with or without cancer can be difficult to live with or expect too much, but there has to be a middle ground somewhere there. Sending hope and prayers to your mother in law. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 Hello everyone, The originator of this thread's name is Carrie. Just wanted her to realize, your directing your input to her and not Karen. Thanks, God Bless and prayers, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mayos Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Hello Carrie...I think drastic mood swings go along with the territory. Cancer is so frightening and in my own case....I took my fear and directed everything inward until I blew up into ugly rages. I'm so thankful my husband and family were able to handle those hard times with such love and understanding. Please give your mom the chance to come out from under these feelings......you'll both be so much better for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggiesmom Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 You are wonderful for taking her into your home. Mood swings are part of cancer. Some days are good, some not so good. That's the way it is. The fact that you are there for her speaks miles about how great you are. This is a tough disease, and it affects the whole family. We are here for you, always feel free to post whenever you need help. I'm sure more people here can answer your questions as well. Just wanted to let you know I admire you for your strength. Prayers. Joanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieLR Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Hi Carrie, You really need to find out if your mother in law has any brain mets. Those can wreak havoc on her personality as well as her memory. When my Mother was found to have brain mets, she became combative with her 89 year old Mother. This was TOTALLY not my Mother. Please have this checked & know that my prayers are with you & that the disease can make her do things that she would never do. I know it is hard but you have to be so incredibly patient. My prayers are with you, Melanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carrie Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Hi Carrie, (my name is Carrie too) Can you give us more info on your mother in laws treatment. Has she had any, what has she had, and what is the plan from here? The more info we have the more we can possibly help. Thanks, Carrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAREAK Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 SHE HAS JUST COMPLETED HER WEEKLY CHEMO AND IS SCHEDULED TO BEGIN A EVERY 3 WEEK CHEMO REGIMEN ON MARCH 16, ALSO TOMORROW IS HER LAST RADIATION TO HER LUNG SHE HAS ALSO HAD RADIATION TO HER HIP, WHERE THE CANCER HAS SPREAD. SHE HAS A TUMOR IN HER SHOULDER AREA ALSO BUT THEY DID NOT TREAT THAT ONE. SHE WAS ON ALOT OF MEDICATION BEFORE SHE EVEN KNEW SHE HAD CANCER, 13 RX A DAY. WE HAVE REMOVED ABOUT 5 OF THOSE SO FAR, THEY WERE FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND HYPERTENSION, ANXIOTY. AND ALOT OF PAIN PILLS, WHICH SHE SAID SHE HAS TAKEN SINCE SHE HAD A STROKE IN 2000. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellakc2 Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Hi Carrie, Welcome! Good luck to you and your mom. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richinsdakota Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Hi and welcome; Well, I know with chemo treatments, they usually give steroids....these were the culprit in my case....made me an emotional basket case. Emer. room doc gave me Lorazepam, which worked nicely to counter the anxiety. Steroids hang on quite a while too, before dissipating from the body, so I still take a few Lorazepams a day. But if she s alredy taking anti-axiety pillls...dunno...only doc can sort it out I spose. Take care and good luck ...Rich B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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