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Patkid

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Pat,

It breaks my heart to know how much you love Brian and how it must hurt to see him feeling so badly. You are constantly in my prayers. I am the patient and I know that when my husband asked me "do you" while I was on chemo I always said no. When he just held my hand and said "we are" I went and did feel better after. I was not as sick as Brian. I can't speak for him, but I was depressed and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch.

I pray that he is going through all of this because the chemo is working. Praying for good scans soon.

Nina

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Aw, Pat honey...how did I miss this thread yesterday? I'm so sorry for both of you that things are as they are.

but I know he is scared and feeling like he may have gone through all this agony for ???????? what??????.

Well...he went thru it all because it's gotten him to this point...and hopefully, will get him well beyond. I guess there is always a price to pay for surviving cancer :( ...but as my own neuropathy increases and is driving me near out of my mind...I can only imagine how awful it is for Bri with numbness up to his calf.

I wish I had answers for you honey...but I think there is a lot of good support/advice here...and I agree, I'd at least put in a call to his onc to express just how this has been affecting Bri mentally/emotionally. How he's sleeping more and detaching from activities he used to be interested in.

I assume he's on Neurontin or something for the neuropathy? Could his dosage be adjusted?

I wish there was more I could offer that might be helpful...but you know you have every good wish and thought I can muster...you both do.

Hang in, dear Pat...and let us know what the onc says after to speak to him. Meanwhile honey...give me that pork chop of yours. We'll all hold that for you while you try to ferret out some answers.

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Dear Pat,

You and Brian are in my prayers. I pray that he regains his strength soon. I know how hard it is to see someone you love get weaker and withdrawn. I encourage you to have the grandkids over for a visit. I bet once they are there Brian will enjoy his visit, and it will be a great lift for your spirits. My Dad is very withdrawn and weak right now also, but we still stop by for visits. It really helps brighten my Mom's day. Please take care of yourself.

Denise

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Dear Pat,

I am so sorry to hear that Brian is feeling so poorly and that you are having such a difficult time. Your pain comes through loud and clear in your post- As many have said, sometimes it is a matter of not giving choices- I found that with Rachel when I asked if she wanted to go to town with me she often opted not to- if I simply showed up and announced I was taking her to town she would most often agree and come along.Of course, there were times when she procrastenated.......and she always commented on how happy she was that she decided to come along.

I know how difficult it is to feel that your loved one is losing hope and in response to that withdrawing from you. I wish I could make you feel better, but I know I can't just as others could not help me with how I felt- Just know that we are all praying for both you and Brian and hope that you can continue to have strength knowing that we are all out here for you. I know that you all have made a huge difference for me. My prayers are with you-and of course Brian.

I can tell from your posts that you are a compassionate, strong woman- and I thank you for all you have done for me.

There is a book that I read- "Final Gifts" that helped me understand more what Rachel was going through- if you do not already have it you might want to pick it up- it is very insightful.

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