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Getting to know you - November 09


Ann

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Since we're all excited over the wonderful LCSC Cookbooks, I have a question for you today about ingredients.

In your opinion, what are the key ingredients for a successful marriage or relationship?

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For me, I think the key is WORK.

Never stop working at making things great and never stop working to making things better.

When I leave the room, I want him to think I've made him feel better. When I leave town, I want him to miss me. When he's with me, I want him to feel like I make him a better person. And I want him to make me feel all these things when I'm with him.

You get what you give and I absolutely trust that what you throw out into the world comes right back at you.

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Tolerance and acceptance of each other's faults. I mean REAL acceptance. In other words, it's the way it is and don't try to change him or her.

I came from a very laid back, fun-type family - no rules, no discipline, etc. Don came from a very serious, more stern-type family with very disciplined, rigid work ethics, etc. Our personalities reflected these two backgrounds and, in the beginning, the clash was profound.

He couldn't accept my it's-not-a-big-deal attitude, and I couldn't accept him getting angry and making-a-big-deal-out-of-little-things attitude. It took a lot of work, but we learned to accept each other the way we were and, in time, he settled down some and I changed, too, and it ended up that my laid-back, softer personality would calm him down, and his outspoken personality helped me in many ways.

It would have been real easy after the first few years for both of us to have walked, but we didn't. We really learned to accept each other just the way we were and we never, never, never cussed at each other or called each other names. I think what really happened was that we both DID change, but we changed ourselves, not each other. You just cannot change another person, and if you try, it's disaster.

Love to all,

Peggy

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I think it's very important to remember to "give and take" and find a happy medium in any relationship. I feel as if Peggy could have been writing for me. Dennis and I used to argue over the little things and differences. Finally, we found a middle ground and realized how very unimportant most of these little things really were. I think respect, trust and understanding are all very important ingredients in any relationship. I also think it's very important to stop and think before putting ones' mouth in gear and saying things you might regret. I have a temper that gets out of control easily. Dennis was more laid back and it took a lot to get his temper raised. He would always say to me...."stop and think about what you're doing." I can hear him saying those words right now!!!

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Trust and friendship, I think these are the two things that really define a marriage. Chemistry and communication are definitely important but for me to know that no matter what thatI could trust that Earl was always there for me and with me and that because he was my bestest friend, I enjoyed being with him more than anyone.

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Humor....friendship, fire and fun.

When I was younger, I was told that the "best" guy was one that would hold your hair while you puked - I told my husband that a while ago, leading to:

If a person cannot see the humor in beginning to lose hair and getting sick while their spouse volunteers an "I'll hold your hair"...well, they don't know a good time!

(and a liberal amount of great sex doesn't hurt)

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