Jump to content

Tragic ending near


Bill

Recommended Posts

I'm Robert - Bill's son. excuse the poor explanation that follows but I dont have any medical background. it looks like my mother has just about reached the end. shes been in the hospital since yesterday morning. cant stop the fluid in the lungs. 2 large bottles of what the Dr called exudate sitting next to her bed whne I left. never heardd her scream so much as when the Dr kept jabbing her back with needles and drains. Dr says that her lungs are marblized with cancer. he mentioned a drain that can be surgically impplanted into the abdomen or something like that but say the surgery may not be worth it. shes on huge dose ofoxycodone and the ######## ! med oncologist only remarks are that he will procede with chemo if she wannts. no urgency in his mind and no plan to change drugs to more aggresive stuff.. to him shes just another patient going out the back door while a new 1 enters the front. at some point my father will give you a better up date but this is such a mess and so upsetting that I dont kno when. the pulmonoligist says that my mothers lungs could arrest at any time. he sees very little fiunctional tissue left and gives her a few days to a few week depending on chemo. my mother wants to be cremated with her ashes spread in the Pacific ocean like with neptune society. can anybody explain the useual process for arranging and doing this and ways to do it to keep costs down.?

Thank you very much

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not to sound Morbid or weird but check with a Funeral Home for a lot of details and I think they could probably help in some ways. If you know the end is near you should make some Preps if you have not. I speak from personal experience with the loss of my wife in Jan 06

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I appreciate the understanding on me asking this touchy question. I offered to pay this and must face this and I want to do the right thing but funds are limited. I went through my fathers pile of medical business cards and found a couple of hospital social workers cards. I will ask them for help may be. My father has been financing 3 family health crisis all at this same time.. my mom and another family member is in a nursing home and another one is disable by stroke. even with insurance on my mom his out of pocket portion has been big. he also had to pay for some outside opinions and a couple of medical procedures that werent correctly authorizedc so insurance wouldnt pay and he had to pay. my moms med bills are way over $1 million. I was warned to be careful about arrangements as that industry i am asking about has its share of rip offs. this is why I am asking for guidaence on this touchy subject

Robert

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh Robert! I'm truly sorry for everything that you have to deal with it's such a difficult time. Do you have any siblings that can help you out? I will keep your Family in my prayers. I know exactly what your feeling and it really Stinks but,be strong it will get better :cry:

Michele

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rbert, If there is anything we can do to help just ask. Many prayers for you and the family right now. We are here if you need us for anything.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello, Robert.

I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this. I know how hard your dad has fought to get your mom the very best care and attention available, and it's just so sad that it has gotten so bad. I know what you are going through - I went through it with my mom and dad, too.

It's just a tough time and there aren't words created that can really make it any easier. I hope it does help you a little bit, though, to know that we really do care and that we are collectively putting our arms around you and your whole family.

Please tell your dad, too, that we are thinking about him at this time. He has shared tons of information and knowledge with us through all of his research for your mom. He has helped a lot of people.

I don't have answers for you on the funeral arrangements. I sure wish I did because I would be so willing to help if I could.

God bless you, Robert!

Love,

Peggy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Robert, I am sorry it has come to this. I don't know much about the Neptune Society. I generally know that arrangements through a funeral home for cremation is less expensive.

Maybe it is time to call in hospice who are experts at managing pain.

Don M

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am so sorry for the agony that you, your mother and family are going through. My prayers are with you at this difficult time. You might talk to the social worker at the hospital for some direction.

Prayers

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Robert,

Will pray for your mother and all the family,

hoping for some peace time and no pain.

For the funeral, cremation could be done and

THE IMPORTANT PART: you could, the family when

you feel ready to do what your mother wants with

her ashes, no need for a fancy urn or container,

that is where the price is.

Just ask around.

Jackie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So very sorry and horrified to hear of all of this. I am so upset about the seemingly indifference of your Mother's med onc. I think the very most important thing is to manage her pain as much as possible. As far as the many other problems go, I sure hope that you can find a social worker or somebody that can help with some resources for everything medically, emotionally, financially. There's just gotta be some help out there for all of you and I pray that you all will be helped immediately. Sending you the best as possible, Patty

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Robert,

I'm so sorry that you are going through this and need this information. My Mom had made arrangements with the Neptune Society. There is one in Costa Mesa and the cost is about $1500.00. Hope this info helps and I really wish you didn't need it.

Prayers for you and your family.

Patty

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Robert I am so sorry for your mother's pain and all of your anguish. it's so painful to read about, but do come here and let us support you and your father in any way we can. you're all in our prayers. I pray for your mother's comfort, and peace for all of you. I know you'll find a way to honor your moms wishes that you and your family can live with.

xoxo

amie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've only know read this message. My heart hurts for your family. My prayers and thoughts are with all of you.

katie -my mother has been to 3 hospitals in the last 2 weeks. thoracic surgeon is talking about some sort of catheter implant for her lung fluids but he doesnt know if my mother can tolerate the surgery. I havent spokern with my father since yesterday morning. a friend that has seen them says that the doctors are all doom and gloom which is nothin new to us. BTW my father cant find any medical oncologist that currently uses chemo sensitivity testing. several people have told us that they are familar with this type of testing and have used it but they say that results arent that differnet compared with using set drug protocols so they are luke warm on the subject now .. has anybody been treated by a oncologist that uses sensitivity testing method in choosing chemo drugs/ please post the effectiveness of it in your real life case, thanks.

rob

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rob,

from what I know about your dad from reading his posts here, he is one heck of a fighter and I know he's fighting for your mom.

I wish I could answer your questions about the chemo-sensitivity testing, but unfortunately, I don't have that experience.

If you get a minute, make a new post in this forum and ask the members, I am sure someone will have more info for you.

Just remember that our prayers are with your family. I'll be thinking of you, Bill and your mom everyday.

Hugs,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.