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Messed up in the head


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Losing my dad messed me up so bad.....How bad was it?

I went around for a whole week telling everyone I am 43 years old. I told my mom and sisters that the obit had the number of years theyed ben married worng...not 42 but it is supposed to be 43. I thought this for days.

My sister finally said hey wait a minute! You are 41! You'll be 42 in May. Do they really let you teach math in Rhode Island?

What self respecting woman adds years to her age?

Losing dad made me mentally age myself.

Another odd thing: Dad's White 93 Chevy truck. Every time I went down there I always drove his vehicle. I love this vehicle. When i was driving it I even mused that it would be a fine Rhode Island truck. THis last week I drove it around on errands while mom's other vehicle was in the shop. It has one of the first car alarm systems. Everything was fine until the remote died and now noone can even start the truck without the alarm going off and disabling the vehicle. It doesn;t have a valet switch that I can find. We think that dad must not want anyone driving his truck. It sits in his spot in the driveway. WE'll have to figure out a way to disarm the alarm. Oh well.

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Oh (((((Eppie))))),

Grief does a number on us, doesn't it??? You are no different than I was/am! I saw you made yourself go to the gym and that is good. Take time and feel badly.............maybe for a long time even. I STILL miss my wonderful Dad after 23 years :cry: . BUT it IS a WARM missing now....................not a painful one so much.

I am thinking of you and sending you strength. You must be close to my brother up there in RI. Next time I'm up to see him, I'll let you know.



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OMG...((Eppie))...I've been away for a few and only realized what had happened by reading your profile. I am SO sorry! I just don't know what to say. So, I'll just send hugs for strength, and comfort.

With great sadness,


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I too have been away from the board for a few weeks.

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your Father. You were a wonderful daughter to your Dad. He could not have asked for a more loving and supportive daughter than you. I know how hard it is to lose a wonderful Dad like yours. My prayers are with you and your family.

I too felt a little lighter in the brain cell department after Dad pass away. Give yourself some time. I'm just starting to get my act together and it has been three months. I have been living in a fog.


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I think there is something that happens to the brain function after a death in the family. I missed a couple of extra scheduled days of work because I had forgotten that I had committed to working.

I kept beating myself up (and they did too) about missing them. It wasn't until later that I realized that it was out of my control and that it was grief and a bit of a shock that made my brain turn to goo temporarily.

How can you get that '93 to RI? Your Dad would love how much you love that truck (because it is his).

love, Cindi o'h

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O Cindy-Oh....delightful friend!

I was just thinking this to myself in the truck...and now I am thinking that Dad has found a way to make sure I can't drive that old truck to RI. Unwise impulsive thinking checked by his every pragmatic thinking. All of this is really just silly musing since in reality the bleeping remote is Kaput and no one can get near the truck and not the supernatural.

I do agree that I had goo brain though. My uncle cooked for us and had called to say he was coming over with "some meat" and I had to call him back and request more information. (I was very tactful but confused) I wanted to know how we were to keep this "meat" with our refidgerator so full of food. I asked if he could also bring some charcoal so we could grill it. Oh no, he said, it is cooked and wrapped in foil in my heat conserving igloo cooler.

If he had said I just barbecued or I grilled some pork chops.....my brain goo would have processed it. To think I almost committed a social faux pa and sent my uncle's gift away!!

This meat was scrumptious. I was off my feed all week. I couldn't eat...I felt close to puking I was sad. But uncle Martin's venison and pork chops healed that, too. My learning? When offered meat..Accept the gift and don't question. It will be delicious!

Much love,


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Eppie -

I am so sorry...you know you will get through this, as the only way to deal is to simply forge ahead. it is three months for me and it sucks, but I can cope everyday.

Grief is so strange. I have done just ridiculous things I would never ever do like putting the phone in the fridge and locking myself out of the house in a towel (don't ask.)

Love to you in the coming weeks. i am here for you.


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Hi Ep,

Thinking of you sweetie,

Speaking about brain goo.......

When my mom passed I was washing clothers. Took it out of the dryer and put it on the side to fold later. When I went to fold the clothes. I could not find them. Looked all over, even ridiculous places. Couldn't find them anywhere. :shock::shock:

When I went to wash more clothers and lifted the washer lid to put them in, lo and behond there they were in the washer. I REWASHED THEM and didn't even remember doing that!! :roll:

This too shall pass. Except when you get my age, remembering is not easy, forgetting is. :?

Maryanne :wink:

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Your grief makes you feel tender inside

and out, like the good meal you had.

The good meal is gone but the grief will

stay around and you will have to do with

it as it peak and reduce.

That truck is for you, just waiting for

you and crying out for you. Get one of those

hot rod kid they should be able to stop

the alarm.



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A few weeks after my Dad passed away I meet a Friend at starbucks,I got out of my car went in for about 90 mins and left my car running.. Thats scary!!!

I guess it normal to have these brain Farts!

Stay Strong! How funny I'm telling you to stay strong when I'm a pile of mush...



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Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve and time to heal. You have just lost your loving father and that is an emotional trauma on your mind and your spirit that you have to recover from. Like any other recovery from trauma it will take time for you to heal. I am praying for you and please give yourself the time that you need.


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