Char81062 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I tried to put a message up once before and I don't think I did it right so here goes again. If you have seen this before I apologize. My Mom was diagnosed with Stage IV Small Cell Lung Cancer. she starts Chemo this week. We are all very scared because we expect the worst but hope for the best. She doesn't want to go out anywhere now. She said she doesn't want people to think she is a freak or pity her. Please can anybody tell me what I can do to help her through this time and what I can expect. Will she want to do anything else besides Chemo and Dr's appts? She is my role model and is a terrific lady. I am so scared of losing her she is such a BIG part of my life. Any help is appreciated. Thanks Charlene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Oh Charlene, I am so sorry you and your Mom are going through this. It is not an easy journey but the journey can have many joys and happy moments. Do not give up hope. Give your Mother some time to adjust to this 'new normal'. Try to encourage her to live as normal a life as she is capable of. We are here for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Charlene, Although I cannot offer much in the way of advice, I did want to say welcome and I am glad you found this site. There are so many people here with so much knowledge and insight to offer, as well as so much love and support when you most need it. This is a very scary time for you and your mom as well as your whole family. Have you addressed your concerns with her doctors? And the best advice I can give you is to do your best to remain positive. Not only for your mom, but for yourself. Please keep us all posted and let us know how we can help. Sending you love and prayers and positive thoughts, Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Cancer is such a beast, and it robs us of normalcy. I am so sorry. I would suggest talking to your mom and her doc about antidepressants. This has made a WORLD of difference for my dad. He is a different person, and it has really helped. Cancer is a difficult road, but we all must realize that it is a road. It is a journey we take that has its ups and downs. Noone deserves this journey, but unfortunately it exists. God bless you and your mom. I pray for your continued strength. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Charlene, I totally understand your feelings, my husband too was dx w/ ext sclc, and I know about all thoses statistics, but like my husbands oncologists tells us we aren't treating him like a statistic. Do you know what type of chemo your mom is going to have, you can look at my profile to see what my husband has gone thru. If there is another thing I can tell you, the staff at the cancer center where he goes is absolutely wonderful, just like a second family. I will tell you, if you need to talk to the oncology social worker, please do, even your mom, because it is such a big thing to be going thru. But my husband is still hanging in there..... , but now with all these new drugs to help combat the side effects of chemo are just remarkable. I know that your mom and you and your family will be fine... Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggiesmom Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 If possible, try to go with her to her dr.'s appointment and either bring a tape recorder or write down questions and answers ahead of time. Your Mom is in a difficult point now and will not remember what the doctor says to her. They may do radiation as well as chemo. She will have testing done and then they come up with a game plan. Please let us know how it goes. There are many people here with you mother's condition who will be able to guide you. Joanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joanie55 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Charlene, I was also dx with stage IV LC. Just hearing that is a tremendous shock, but there is hope and life out there. It may help your mom to speak to other stage IV survivors. It's possible to live for a long time with stage IV. I don't know where you live, but there also may be support groups available, even through a nearby hospital. I would ask your doctor. I would look specifically for a LC group. By the way, her expectation of looking like a "freak" may be far from the truth. People that don't know would never know I'm sick. Even my friends and family look at me and can't believe my dx. I would be more than happy to speak to you or your mom. You can PM me any time. All the best Joan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I will add that you should give her some time to adjust. Just be there for her when she is ready to acclamate to her new normal. My mom is my best friend and I can't emphasize how much you'll need each other through this roller coaster ride. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Charlene, I am so sorry you and and your mom are going through this. It is so hard to hear this diagnosis, and in the beginning it feels like that horrible C word has robbed you of your future, your present, and even who you are. But in addition to fighting this disease, we also need to fight giving Cancer that kind of power and control. It can not take from us our hope and our joy unless we give up on it. Originally my husband didn't want to see anyone or go out and do anything. He was trying so hard to just get his emotions in check, and everytime someone came up to him with doe eyes and hugged him and treated him like he was already assured of dying, he would plummet back down into despair. He was fighting to get his hope and positive attitude in place. People were trying to be nice, but they were actually making him feel worse. And I for one, DO NOT tolerate ANYONE making my man feel bad in any way! What I did is got on the phone with a few choice people that were Keith's friends (especially the ones I knew that had big mouths and would spread the word), that what Keith needed from his friends was to be treated like Keith. To feel like he had a small piece of his normal life left that wasn't stolen by Cancer. His friends started calling and just having normal conversations, making plans for future events, telling him about their problems. It was amazing how much it turned his attitude around about going out and doing get togethers once he knew he wasn't going to be the center of attention and the object of a big pity party. Can you call some of your mom's friends and have them visit her or call her and just talk? Ask them to be there if she feels like talking about cancer, but otherwise just call and talk to her about the weather, life, the kids and grandkids. Let her lead where the topic goes, and treat her like the wonderful and beautiful mother, friend, and woman she has always been. She hasn't changed, and she needs to know that. Cancer has not taken her beauty from her either inside or out. I will be praying for your mom and for your family. Carleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Char81062 Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 Wow!!!! is all I can say about the response I have been given. The generosity of spirit has been wonderful and much needed. It really does help that people once they come to grips with what is going on go forward and lead their lives. I particularly like the phrase "new normal". It means we're not forgetting that this horrid stuff exists but that there is a whole world outside of dealing with the Dr's and Chemo stuff. We live in the Baltimore area and she has been seen by a team of Johns Hopkins Oncology specialists so I think we are really in great hands. She said her Dr. is wonderful and was really in tune with her feelings. She wouldn't let me or any of my siblings go with her to her first appt with him but I am hoping that she will feel comfortable so that any subsequent appts one of us can go with her and my Dad who by the way is a GEM but a puddle right along with my Mom with all this happening. She is however letting us take her to her Chemo treatments and be with her. I want her to know she has us to lean on. I can't thank you all enough from the bottom of my heart for lifting my spirits today. Mom diagnosed with what the Dr's thought was a pituitary tumor 4/14/06 Pre-op X-ray showed mass of 6cm on lung 5/10/06 Operated on for removal of pituitary tumor 5/12/06 Pathology came back with news of brain tumor being malignant with Small Cell Lung Cancer 5/24/06 Mother diagnosed with Stage IV Small Cell Lung Cancer in consult with Oncologist 6/6/06 Mom starts Chemo 6/13/06 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Charlene, Just wanted to pop back in and give you a small technical tip. If you highlight and copy the text at the bottom of your last post, which is your mom's treatment and diagnosis history so far; and then go to the upper right corner of your screen there should be a link there that says My Profile. If you go in there, there is a box available for you to put in a signature. Paste your text in that box, and then your mom's history will be available on all your posts so that you won't have to repeat it or retype it again and again. I am glad to see your spirits lifted, and to hear about all the loving support your mom has around her. That will help her so much, and I'm sure she is so proud of you and grateful to have you and your siblings in her corner. God Bless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Char81062 Posted June 15, 2006 Author Share Posted June 15, 2006 Hello Everyone, Just wanted to let everyone know that my Mom had her 1st Chemo treatment and she had very limited side effects. After her treatment she wanted me to take her to the store to get a rotisserie chicken and mashed potato's because she was hungry. Today she sounds so much more like old self I am so happy for her. Thank you so much for all your support. It means the world to me at this difficult time. Charlene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Hi Charlene, I am happy to hear of the progress she is making so far. There will be ups and downs ahead, but nothing as severe as the first hours, days and weeks from diagnosis. She is adjusting. I borrowed from AA many tools to use getting me through the cancer journey. It was most helpful. Accpetance is the answer to all my problems today.... Let go, Let God... etc. etc. There was so much I "stole" from that program to help me to get through. I still borrow, but not so much anymore. No one likes to think they are "different" from their fellows. I am not surprised at your Mom wanting to isolate a bit. The more comfortable she becomes with her own acceptance and her own thoughts and feelings on the lc, the more willing she will become to show her face around. Is there any way that she can come here to vent or to read? We all have our individual styles to get through each day. Our common denominator is our Courage and Hope! Cindi o'h Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 My late wife painted the inside of our 1300 sq foot home on Chemo worked while on chemo and went to school while on chemo. This is not the end but a new beginning. Havew to get used to Apptmnts and Chemo and Checkups. Life goes on even when you are on chemo or Radiation. Make what you want of every day. Cherish yesterday, Live for today and Pray for tomorrow. Don't think that life stops now that your mom has cancer. Live for the day. Carpe Diem and such. Keep an organizer and write down all thoughts Meds Apptmnts and results. Keep us posted We are like the hotel 6 always have a loght on in the window for ya. This is a compassionate supportive and knowledgeable as well as loving Group of people many of whom have never met and many who have met. We are always here remember That especially. PRint stories or show mom good News and Survivor Forums Tons of inspiration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Hi, and welcome! All my friends here have given very good advice, so I don't have much to add. Do give your mom (and yourself) time. My wife is a Stage IV NSCLC survivor of 3 3/4 years. So hang onto the hope and let us know how we may support you along the way. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 Sorry my post is so late-Please know that stats are just that stats. They are based on OLD info. I was diag Feb 2001 with ext sclc-several locations. I am still here! I have had one relapse and got thru it. Read the stats below to see what meds. Good luck, hang in there and support her. Love Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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