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An update on my mama

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The pain is the hardest thing to watch, isn't it? My father was in so much pain, and I would feel so helpless because there's nothing I could do to help him feel better. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish your SF could enjoy this time with your mother instead of making her feel like a burden. I hope he changes soon. Prayers coming your way.

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Lori - You have every right to be angry and please know we are always here to listen to you vent. I wish there was a magic wand to wave to make this easier for you! YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN and I KNOW your mom is so proud of you!!! I wish your SF was making the most of his time left with your mom. Some people just don't get it and obviously he is one of those people. Prayers that yours mom finds relief from her pain very soon and that SF and the rest of your family can keep the peace.

Hang in there gal, YOU ARE DOING GREAT!


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You , your mom and your family have my prayers every day. I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling . I do know that it can hurt to have your mama strike out against you , but you have to know that patients tend to strike out against the ones they love the most. Hang in there and wishing you strength from our prayers coming your way.

Love and Prayers,


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Someone suggested methadone and I know this was one of the medications that Mom was told that could be used...as is marinol clear up to heroin...there should be SOMETHING they can do for the pain.

Good for you for getting on people's a**s about not doing anything! Sometimes it's easier to be mad than to be sad and hurt and this is one of those times it CAN be beneficial!

My heart goes out to you and Momma...how I wish I could be there for/with you to help you through even just a little bit. The best I can do, for now, is to send my prayers for comfort for Momma and for you.

Much love, Lori...

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Sounds like you're on a good track Lori -- no reason to apologize for being angry either: the "system" just rots big time and it's so frustrating. Doesn't anyone care anymore out there in the professional world? Sometimes I wonder. Even if that dentist can't prescribe the antibiotics, could he step up for his long-time patient and care enough to offer to at least call someone to help (you know, a little follow through to help out)? The buck stops at the family and there are so many of those bucks at our door that no one gets how we can be so no nonsense and to the point. ARRRRGGGGGG!

If you find your mom getting increasingly frustrated and angry with you over time (possible side effect from the confusion; and chronic pain isn't helping), the hospice social worker can teach you ways of diffusing the situation so your mom doesn't get too upset herself, with you, or others in your family -- escalating aggitation is not uncommon and there are ways to carry a conversation that won't have it get out of control. If you're uncomfortable with what's happening in that regard, ask about that as well.


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Hi Lori,

Your post was so frustrating for me to read. I am so sick of all this sh-t that is going on. It never seems to stop.

You are doing everything right and you don't need this idiot of a SF to add to your mom and your stress. You certainly have enough on your shoulders without him also weighing it down.

Talk to the SW and see what they can do to help aliviate your moms pain. Poor lady, that has to be horrible to live with and heart wrenching for you to watch.

Just know that I continue to have your mom and your family in my prayers.

Vent all you want, that is the best medicine for your sanity.

Maryanne :wink:

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Dear Lori

I wish there was something I could do to help you. I am so sorry for your family and what you have to deal with. How is your son doing? More importantly, how are you doing? We all seem to think more about the patient, but the caretakers are going through different pain and feelings as well. Keep strong and don't push yourself too hard, the rest of your family needs you.

God Bless all of you.

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MY son is OK. His nephrologist will see him every 6 months. We will monitor his BP, have regular eye exams, and hearing tests. Most of all, we will pray there is a treatment found for him by the time he has complete kidney failure. My dad was 19 or 20 when his kidneys failed. In the mean time, please consider organ donation-anyone and everyone!

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