cjolaw Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 It's just too much to watch her struggle. To see her stare at me as though she wants to say something, but can't. It's just too much to have a conversation with only a reply of a few yes's or no's. It's just too much to watch my dad help her to her feet, rub her back as she throws up the few bites of food she managed to choke down. It's just too much to have to watch her slowly wither away. It's just too much to see her hair a mess, her makeup non-existant, her color flat. It's just too much to witness her in pain. It's just too much to realize that this beast we call lung cancer is taking my mother from me. It's just too much. Carrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 (((((Carrie))))) I understand exactly what you mean. I don't know what to say. It is very difficult. Somehow you need to get the doctor to help with the pain and nausea. You will find you have incredible strength to keep helping your mom and dad. The Lord will provide. My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this most difficult time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Carrie, It is too much. It is so unfair. It is so hard. I care. I hurt for you. I know some of your hurt because I walked with my Mom too. Thinking of you. Val Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Carrie, It is too much.... and it isn't fair. I am sorry you are on this journey - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 (((((Carrie))))) No words, just hugs and prayers Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Oh Carrie, I am so, so sorry to read your post. What is the latest with mom? Where are you? Are you up there? Is she in town? Is there anything I can do? Please, let me know. You and your family are in my prayers. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 I am so very, very sorry for the hurt and pain that you feel. Prayers Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bev'sSister Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Carrie, I am sorry you and your family are having to go through this. It is terribly difficult to watch someone suffer...especially when you can not help. I know that my sister was very appreciative that we were just there with her. She hated that we were having to go through that too. You just have no choice, but to do everything you can to help your Mom get through this. She appreciates it and loves you for it. I hope things improve and I will be praying for you and your family. Love, Bobby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marci Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Carrie, I feel your pain and I know your heart is broken. My mom is my best friend as well as my mom and I would trade places with her to endure it so she wouldn't have to go through any of it. I just don't understand why the suffering in this life and I don't think I ever will. You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers. Marci Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Carrie-- It is way too much. I am really sorry that you are going through this. My thoughts are with you and your family. Best, Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueeye Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Carrie, I know, I know, I know. As the sticker on my car, my favorite t-shirt and my armband says: Cancer sucks! And it's not fair to watch your loved ones go through this. I watched my Dad and two months later my Mom started. I am trying hard to erase the memories of them at the end. Hugs and prayers go out to you. Somehow we manage... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley (MLC) Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Carrie, I am so very sorry. It's so difficult to watch our loved ones suffer and not be able to help. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Shelley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted January 26, 2008 Share Posted January 26, 2008 ((((Carrie)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjolaw Posted January 26, 2008 Author Share Posted January 26, 2008 Thank you all very much for your thoughts and prayers. I was just feeling overwhelmed yesterday. I have three sisters and we are all taking one day a week with mom, because she can't be at home alone anymore. I had yesterday, my older sister had today and said she was a little more talkative, which is good. Unfortunately her platlets keep dropping. They are down to 24,000. She'll be checked tomorrow to see where the platelet count is. One day at a time. Breathe in, breathe out. Carrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted January 26, 2008 Share Posted January 26, 2008 Carrie, Live one day at the time is all you can or anybody do. With lc you can't anticipate what tomorrow will be, you just can hope it will be as good or better than the day you are living. Hugs Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azgirl Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 My heart broke for you as I read your words. I am so sorry. God Bless, Maryea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Carrie, We are now into Monday. How are the platelets? How is mom feeling? I still want you to know that if there is anything I can do, I am more than willing. How are you on meals? How is dad doing? How are your sisters? What about your kids? If you need me to watch them, let me know, so that hubby can go with you. I mean it, Carrie, anything. Prayers, Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyr Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 (((Carrie))) no words, just prayers that you will find the strength for this part of the journey wendyr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjolaw Posted January 29, 2008 Author Share Posted January 29, 2008 Just an update. Platlets are moving into the 50,000's. But her hemoglobin and white blood cell counts were low... so another blood transfusion. She getting very tired and is having alot of breakthrough pain, which needs to get under control... we'll go see the dr. again tomorrow. Thanks Jen for the support. I have a great family, and my sisters are really pitching in too. My dad is distraught, very depressed, but doing everything he can to keep mom comfortable. I can't believe how quickly things start to move downhill. It was just a few months ago she was working 50 hours a week... I salute those of you have battled this beast and who are currently battling it. I also salute the caregivers who walk beside them. Carrie mom dx age 55 November 2006, adenocarcinoma NSCLC, malignant pleural effusion. pleurex catheter inserted-mayo clinic cisplatin/taxotere/avastin...major shrinkage of main tumor! Avastin only progression...alimta progression...tarceva progression...carbo/gemzar only has had one infusion...very weak and blood levels not good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max L Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Carrie, my wife, Inez and I do understand, somewhat, what you are feeling as we went through this with Inez's mom, who passed on last month from Alzheimers. Really have no sage advice other than keep holding on and try to stay as positive as you can. Promise you it will get better down the road. It is never easy. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 Carrie--continued prayers for you and your mom. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 My heart to yours Carrie. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Carrie: I think many of us who have cancer would prefer having it ourselves rather than witnessing a loved one go through what you describe. My heart goes out to you. You have a talent, however, for putting your feelings down in the written word. Keep doing it. I believe it will give you some little comfort. Judy in Key West Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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