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how my dad is doing.


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dads bone scan showed a few spots that the oncologist feels are more likely arthritis than cancer mets. ( I hope he's right this time)

backing up a second here....the day before dad left the hospital, my moms oncologist walked into the room, he said "I am taking over your case. I know your family best and ...well...i feel like I would be better than the other oncologist" "besides, I feel I owe you my best" hmmm do you think he feels this way because he was on vacation when mom was so sick that last week and DIED!!!!!!!!???????????

anyway we tried talking dad out of him but whatever they said in private convinved my dad to give him a try.

back to present. they said the could not see any visible mets on brain/abdomen/pelvic scan so right now without any gaurantees' they are considering him limited stage. (not holding my breath on that one, been there wore that tee shirt before)

so this past monday he started chemo 3 days a week, every 3 weeks, for 5 months. the first day because his pain was still so great from the chest tube they gave him hydrocodone. within 45 minutes he started vomiting so violently and it lasted (no kidding) 8 hours. him and I sat up the entire night. finially at 2 am I took him to the ER b/c I could not stand by anymore and let him suffer. they gave him fluid and anti-nausea meds by IV and sent him home. he said he would not be going back for the 2nd days treatment that there were worse things than dying.

i cried but COMPLETELY understood. I would never want to go through that. BUT the onc. switched him to oral morphine and a nausea pill that goes under his tounge and also sedates him so he can sleep. so he took 2nd and today the third treatment and its over for 3 weeks. if he doesn't show any improvement on next x-ray he said he will stop and let nature take its course. I accept that because Its is him who has to suffer the immediate pain and me the pain of loss.

so thats where we are, he is finially asleep now and I am taking a nighty night pill myself b/c I am so completely wiped out.

I have come to accept that I am just a bystander in his cancer and I, no matter how much I try, will not cure him. So when I was waiving the white flag last week, I have come to accept what will eventually happen and deal with it like I just did 5 1/2 months ago with mom.

I can't thank you all enough for the cards and words of warmth and comfort.

again thank you all, you are the best people in the whole wide world.

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We're all hanging in here with you Shelly. So glad to see that you've got your armour on and suited up for this battle. You're a very strong lady and I know your Mom is smiling down on you because of the great help you are being to your Dad! Hang tough and know we are all here for you! Keeping you in my prayers!

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Guest Jonathan

Hi, Sorry to hear all this news. Have you had a radon test doen in your home, radon gas comes up naturally from the earth, and is the second leading cause of lung cancer. Seeing as two people in the same area (i am assuming) got it around relatively the same time, I just cannot help but wonder. They have tests, and they cost between 50-100 dollars. Call your local fire dept. to find out who can do the testing.

Good luck and God Bless...


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Thanks for the update. This is sooo very tough, but you know we are here for you; we will offer love and support through the triumphs and tragedies. I'm praying for the very best outcome for your SD. I know you will be hanging in there throughout the fight. Much love and hugs.

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thank you all for the prayers and well wishes. you are all holding me up.


yes, unfortunately, we thought the same thing. the radon test was within normal ranges. where my parents home is, used to me an airport and there is a closed waste dump ( :evil: ) thats is right next to it. we think maybe the water is contaminated. my parents neighbor on the left passed from lung cancer, on the right side pancreatic cancer, behind them, the lady has Lupas, across the street a teenager has lukemia and there are at least 100 other people in the development with some form of cancer.

we are still trying to get the city to do some investigating, but were not getting really anywhere. something about property values would decline.


thanks for the info though.

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Two things. First off I'm glad the medications helped your Dad tolarate the chemo. Here's praying for good results so he can continue.

Secondly I'm so glad you're coming to a place of acceptance about what is happening now and what might happen in the future. As hard as that is, it will be the thing that allows you to get through all this, no matter what happens.

Thinking of you every day.


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Hello dean,

there are so many things I want to say. hope I can get them across half as elequently as you do with your thoughts.

yes...I have accepted what is going to happen to my dad. I feel today, that it is going to happen sooner than we were led to believe by the onc. . He had chemo mon/tues/wed, and yesturday and today he is truly suffering. It is tearing me apart from the inside out to watch this again. He does not eat, he sleeps un-soundly, he is in allot of pain. I told himtonight, that I wanted him to make the decision about if he does any more treatments. I do not want him to put me into the equation at all. I told him I can't watch him waste away and suffer and that if he watned to stop treatments, I would live out what time he has left, fully with him. I will do my best to make it pain free and fulfilled.

I cried allot to my moms sister tonight on the phone that I can't believe I am repeating last year all over again. What did I do that was so bad that God fealt I needed to loose both parents within 1 year.

BUT I would rather know that my dad was alive and well with mom in heaven that suffering and starving to death down here. I haven't taken my leave of absence at work yet becuase I wanted to save it for "when it needs to be done" so knowing dad is alone all day while I am at work and knowing he doesn't have the strength to get to the kitchen and get himself some food makes me worry beyone belief.

second. I want you to know that I support your decision 100% in the path you chose for yourself. I know it was not easy, you considered your wife and daughter over and over again. I know that it was the hardest decision of your life, but for you it was the right one. I would support my dad fully if he decides to stop. I can't blame him, he is suffering with the treatment as much as he probably would without.

I still pray for a miracle every day for you dean, you mean so much to me and I can't express with words how much comfort I get from your words. I wish I could meet you to just once really let you know that I care. I really care about you and I ache for you the exact same way I ache for my dad and ached for my mom.

you have become a LC surrogate dad to me.

not knowing If I can help, but I swear I am dropping to my knees right now begging god to make you and my dad well.

truly your friend dean,


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