Hebbie Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 OK -- tell me if I am wrong for letting this COMPLETELY irritate me.... I was just walking down the hall at work and a co-worker that I am on a simple "hello" basis with walks by me and says "You are so skinny...I hate you..." HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO THAT? Now let me just say that this happens AT LEAST 2 times a week. I'll be in the office kitchen making lunch and people always comment "Oh, you are so healthy and eat so well, wish I had your discipline" "You don't eat ANY sugar? -- Wow, how do you do it, you are a better person than I...." A few weeks back another co-worker sees me in the kitchen and says "you are so skinny, you make me sick....." I said "Yeah, I'm trying to gain a few pounds" and she said "Oh right, we should all have that problem". Of course, each time this happens I smile politely and walk away, but what I really want to do is SCREAM IN THEIR FACES "OH, YOU WANT MY PROBLEM???? THEN WHY DON'T YOU SUFFER THROUGH RADIATION AND CHEMO TO AND WATCH THE POUNDS ROLL OFF.......WHY DON'T YOU HAVE 1/3 OF YOUR LUNG REMOVED AND SEE HOW MUCH YOU FEEL LIKE EATING.......I'M SO SKINNY? WANT TO TRY MY DIET? IT'S CALLED THE CANCER DIET......I'M SO DISCIPLINED WITH MY "HEALTHY EATING"?? I'M EATING TO TRY TO SAVE MY LIFE, SO JUST SIT BACK THERE WITH YOUR BIG PIECE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE AND SHUT UP....." Phew. Momentary loss of sanity there.....Thanks so much for letting me get that off my chest. I feel better already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Heather, People who say something about my weight get the "You really don't want to go on the fightforyourlifeagainst cancer diet, do you? " (I also have an obvious disfigurement from losing the collarbone etc so I'm kinda lopsided if you look). That stops that right in its tracks. I don't particularly care if people know about it. I will expand on that, if questioned, and tell them I liked that thirty pounds, I earned it over twenty years and giving birth to two children, and I'd be very happy to have it back, thank you very much. All this with a grin. You do have a terrific figure. Why not be a cancer advocate? Eitherway, life is way too short to let people irritate you with stuff like that. So choose to not be irritated. XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Hebbie, I'm sorry my dear but I just got a chuckle from your venting message. NOT that you don't have a right to feel this way, GOD KNOWS YOU AND WE DO! However, if these folks don't know you had cancer, then maybe this is your turn to pop up and say, WELL, when you have cancer, you either lose weight or gain weight, and I guess I'm a LOSER"! But, then again, you could tell them "MAYBE I'M THE WINNER IN ALL THIS"! And then WALK AWAY with a smile on your face. Had we not had or have cancer, chances of us noticing these types of comments are pretty nule and void. Don't you think? Maybe not! ((((((((((((((((((HEATHER))))))))))))))))) I THINK YOU LOOK M A R V E L O U S!!!! Best part of all this is: YOUR CANCER FREE!!!! HOOOOOO RAAAAAAY!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Some people are clods. Do they not know you are battling cancer? If they do, they are double clods. We are called to forgive them, for they know not what they do. Vent anytime, Heather. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Well, Heather...I guess some people who would NEVER pass a chubby person and say, "You're so FAT! I hate you!" think it's okay to comment in the same way to a thin person... See, when my ex-husband used to tell me I was fat (and at that time, I wasn't), I simply told him that I might be fat but he was ugly and I could diet... Seriously, though, it's just plain rude. You really don't have to have a comeback, BUT, you could merely state that your WON'T power is higher than their WILL power and you have something far more motivating than "summer styles" in keeping you thin. Betcherass they wouldn't be commenting on the "no sugar" if you had told them you were a diabetic...just seems that choices aren't respected, ya know? ...and besides, anyone that was truly a nice person that hadn't seen you in a while and noticed a weight loss wouldn't comment that you're so skinny and they hate you, they'd ask you if you were well... And girl, if you're thin, your face has a healthy glow and you CAN wear all those new styles, DO IT! (and every now and then, toss back a comment like "sure wish I could have a Snicker's, but I just bought the CUTEST bikini and I don't want to strain the strings....) Your friends know what's going on. I have a thin friend, she worries about her weight but to the other extreme. In fact, a few years ago when she emailed me a recent photo of her, I shot back a "looks like you've gained a few pounds" which I would NEVER send to someone tipping the scales in the other direction....she took it as it was meant, as a compliment. Guess the bottom line here is: Don't let the bastards wear you down. (and sorry, I DON'T have the Latin translation that makes it sound SOOO cool! LOL I guess that's something else for me to look for...) Take care, I'm limiting my sugar but not cutting it out completely (my family can't handle me cold turkeying off chocolate...) xxoo Becky (the other chunky dunking girl) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Do the people who comment know that you have cancer? Another viewpoint is to be flattered that you look so good and healthy that people are commenting that you are lucky to be thin! If you did not look healthy and good, they probably would not say that. I probably would want to snap back at them though that they would not want the cancer diet. I myself am a fluffy person as you can see from the picture, I have always had a chubby tendency and I get soooo envious of skinny people and have been guilty myself of telling someone who looks good that they are lucky to be thin b/c us chubby people often long to be thin and wonder what it would be like to be able to walk into a store and buy anything. I honestly never thought about all of this until now--I am guilty of at times telling people I wish I was skinny like them and I always meant it is a compliment. Anyway, don't be upset, be thankful that you look good and have the discipline. I admire you so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Dear chunky dunkin (other)-- Ahem. I believe the phrase you're looking for is-- Bastardum non carborundum. Willthatdo? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 MaryAnn, Betcherass it will! Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBone Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 You could say.You think I'm skinny?You should see my pigs.I have to tie knots in their tails to keep them from going thru the slats in the fence.hehe.Must be the water.Really I think most people that make comments like that are not paying any attention to what you say anyway.I just always ignore ignorant remarks.No sense in letting them get you down.Take care.And I love for people to vent on here. Hope you feel better now.TBone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea B. Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 I too am amazed at the comments people make. Several people (family, nurses, etc.) have told my mom oh I wish I could lose some weight like you. WHAT?! Then the other day I am at the store and this woman comments how much hair my baby girl has...she proceeds to say her granddaughter is almost two and still looks like a "chemo patient". I am so flabbergasted by people's insensitivity that it blows me away. We have to chalk it up to ignorance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyCW Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 People do say the most insensitive things!!! This whole thing reminded me of a much less serious thing, but still... I have a cousin who had a little boy, then 2 years later a little girl. Then 2 months after the girl was born, she unintentionally got pregnant again. And it was twins! So one day she's in the supermarket with 4 kids under the age of 4, and someone walks right up to her and says, "Don't you know what causes that?" She did not take it well. Why do people think they can comment about people's personal lives, looks, weight, etc. without considering how it might make them feel?! While this person may not have known the comment would be offensive, it still seems a little much for someone who doesn't hardly know you! I admit that I have occasionally told someone I am jealous over their weight loss... but always people I know well enough to know they'll be complimented. I like the idea of a ready arsenal of come-back comments. Problem is, once you get all ready, no one will ever say anything again that fits that particular retort! (Sortof like Dean's concept of controlling the weather by washing one's car.) BeckyCW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyCW Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Oops... I misspoke. That was Howard's theory about the weather, not Dean's. Just had Dean on the brain, I guess... I'm hoping the San Diego weather is clearing up so he can get out on that scooter soon. BeckyCW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David P Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Hey there everyone. I know this is a serious issue Heather, and I'm trying to read the posts with my "serious face" on, but are you sure this isn't the "Just for Laughs" forum? Your office kitchen rant would have made a great Saturday Night Live skit, where at the end of it you compose yourself and politely and quietly say,"never mind." Combined with Becky's ugly joke, and Tbone's knot in the pig tail joke, I'm feeling a bit guilty getting a chuckle from what has caused you so much stress, and I appologize... but I would LOVE to be there when you decide to put your plan into action. Take care Heather. (and I'm also one who thinks you do look great) David P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hebbie Posted February 27, 2004 Author Share Posted February 27, 2004 Thanks for the response, guys....and I know my rant was a little on the silly side..... It was just one of those days ~ but heaven help the next fool who says I'm so skinny I make them sick..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAY A Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 I dont think these people are trying to hurt you I would take it as a complement and they are just jellous of how good you look and beleave me YOU LOOK GOOD!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Karen C Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 1. DO these people know you have cancer? 2. I'm with David P. Sounds like a bad Saturday Night Live Skit. You could do the copier dude then move to the next room where the office kitchen is, having someone throwing up from chemo treatments and the fat biddies in the office standing next to her talking about how skinny she is. sick. I don't blame you, that would irk the heck out of me, too. Karen C. (David C's wife) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beckyg Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Heather, I would love to have your body at the moment, but not because of its size--because of those NED initials it has that I want so much. Don't let people get you down. Feel free to put them in their place from time to time--I think we should forgive them their insensitivity as Don points out, btu it's also okay and even good to point out to them how insensitive they are. Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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