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Feeling a little down tonight


stand4hope

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I’m feeling a little down tonight. I’ve told you about my dad (he has severe COPD) and Carlene said I could talk about him since you all are my LC family, and what Carlene says, goes – right?.

He had a severe acute attack of congestive heart failure last Sunday, and has just not recovered well this week. I had a long talk with his pulmonary doctor today and he told me that when someone has a severe lung condition like my dad has (his lungs are just worn out), that every time they have an incident like last Sunday or get sick, infection, or whatever, that they almost never get back to where they were before, until eventually something happens and there’s no return. I knew it, anyway, without him even telling me, but it just took the wind out of me to know he isn’t going to get any better than he is right now. They have the ventilator set where it is doing about 90% of the work for him now, he’s only sitting on the side of the bed for a few bites of breakfast, and refusing meals the rest of the day. Of course, he’s on a feeding tube, so he’s getting good nutrition. They have also stopped all attempts at physical therapy because it’s just too hard on him and takes him a couple of hours to recover from the slightest exertion, and basically from here on out, the goal is to just keep him comfortable, which he is. He still has to be transferred to the ventilator facility in the nursing home as soon as they have a bed available since there isn’t anything medically they can do for him anymore. I think I said before that I pray that if I ever get that bad, that I will have doctors who will fight for me as hard as his have. His mind is still as sharp as can be, though. Yesterday, he tried to write me a note, but I finally guessed what he was asking. He wanted to know if I had paid his property taxes. It just breaks my heart. Sometimes I think the elderly with dementia are better off than having your full mind and not being able to get your body to do what you want it to do.

Just thought I’d give you an update on him, and ask if you have a prayer left over that you will ask God to keep him as comfortable as he is right now. Thank you, my friends.

Love,

Peggy

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Guest bean_si (Not Active)

Peggy,

I will say the biggest prayer possible for you and your dad. If it eases your mind at all, I know somehow that your being there for him means a very great deal. He loves you very much.

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Oh Peggy,

I felt so sad reading your post. It is so hard to be the caregiver and just be helpless and not be able to "fix" what ever is wrong. I know only too well. You , your Dad, Your hubby and your son are all in my prayers every night. I will say an extra special one for your Dad. All we have are our words Peggy and we are as helpless to help his condition as you are ... it is all in Gods loving hands. God Bless you and keep you all well.

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Peggy,

I am sending up prayers for your dear Dad now. My sister does physical therapy in a nursing home located in Solvay N. Y.. She told me about a lady she did PT on who was on a vent. She said that was 3 years ago, and the lady is off the vent; however, on oxygen! While providing the lady with PT, one of her goals was to dance with her husband on their aniversary. She did just that! I pray that your reaches his goal of coming home soon!

Cheryl

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Peggy, I am so sorry that you have to face this and I know you must be very unhappy.

I have nothing to contribute and help you. But my advice is, please cherish the time you have with your dad. The fact is, this disease can kill him easily since this will make his lung stop breathing and the current situation seems very critical. I know you know this already but I just want to remind you to spend time with him. Nobody knows how many days he will have.

I know it is difficult to take care of two person at the same time and there is only 24 hours in a day. I hope I can help my dear.

Take care!

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Peggy, I'm so sorry your dad is struggling right now.

My grandmother died of Alzheimer's, and believe me, it's not a better way. The confusion can cause a lot of anger and other behavior which is hard for the family to handle. My grandmother used to accuse me of stealing things from her, and accuse my mother of abandoning her. It's horrible to see a family member agitated and angry and be unable to explain that things are really ok. It was very hard on my mother.

I know it must be hard to see your dad's spirit fighting in a wreck of a body, but he's still really there. My grandmother was lost to us long before she died. Losing one's mind does not mean being happy during the process.

I pray you and your dad will find meaning and some good memories in the days ahead.

BTW, I love the pictures you post. You must have a beautiful place.

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Peggy,

I'm sorry to see that stress just continues to build where you are. I hope you are taking time for yourself and working through YOUR feelings instead of being tossed about emotionally like the USS Minnow...(if not for the courage of its fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost). You've surely embarked on a bad sit-com three-hour tour - how's Gilligan? :roll:

Seriously, though (now that you're humming the theme song from Gilligan's Island and the office is staring at you) - take care of YOU. I hope this all works out for the best for everyone involved.

Becky

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Thank you everyone for all your prayers and support - I needed it, but am feeling much better now - thanks to those prayers (and singing "The Minnow would be lost" helped, too!) Dad is doing fine, stable and comfortable and they've got the ball rolling to get him moving to the vent facility. If it doesn't happen this week, it will happen next week, so we can put this thread to bed now and concentrate 100% on the LC people. I'm feeling much better thanks to all of you.

I did get him to laugh today (well, not outloud - he can't handle a talking valve on his trach/vent). He sits his "used" urinal on the tray table next to his bed (I know, that's gross, but that's the only place he can put it). Anyway, he has knocked it over now at least 3-4 times and I even knocked it off on the floor once. Today I took him a picture of all four of us kids (Ha! His adult children) that he had on his refrigerator. He was really excited and wanted to keep it right on the night stand where he could get to it to show the nurses since he can't sit up or reach very far. I finally found a spot under the kleenex box, but I shook my finger at him and said, "But don't you dare spill your pee all over it." He looked at me, slowly grinned, and then just started laughing (silently) and gave me the punch like Jackie Gleason. That has always been his way of saying "One of these days, one of these days - POW! Right in the kisser!!" (the younger folks here might not have the slightest idea what I'm talking about).

Thanks again for giving me your time and prayers,

Love,

Peggy

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