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can anyone help us?


stephnewyork34

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Hi old friends,

Sorry it has been so long, but it has been a hard summer, and I know that is no excuse, but being in Denmark, I don't have the same access to internet as I did in the states, so it is really hard to get here. My request for help or and advice is this.

As many of you know, my mom, Judy B died on March 27th and while her being gone is so devastating, we have another problem. My step father, John, has refused to show us her will (and this is NOT about money) and he even tried to get me to sign full power of attorney over to him the weekend of her death, before I moved to Denmark one week later, resulting in him calling me an "unreasonable, selfish B. .ch". The thing that is worrying to myself and my sister Cris, and my Mom's sister Debbie, is that he is behaving so weird, and I do not beleive that Mom would cut us out like that, since we were all so close. Cris, Debbie and I aggree that Mom wasn't rich, and this is not about money, more about memories and there are things from our childhoods that we would like to have.Mom used to say "sentimental is stupid" but I am very sentimental, and so is my sister. Also John has her house, her car, and all her and our things. We don't know what to do. I am in Denmark, so myhands are a bit tied. Cris is busy with school (grad school), so if any of you have any advice or helpful words please let me know. This is hard enough to go through. It has been 6 months and I still feel the strongest pain, and feel weak becasue I can't handle it. I miss her sooooo much. :(

Anyhow, thanks in advance for your help. my email is this,

stephnewyork32 (32 not 34) @yahoo.com

thanks again

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Well first, welcome back stranger. :P Second, update your profile, you're not in California anymore. Third, my heart breaks for you over this. It is so sad that things have come to this. I wouldn't have a clue of where to start, but unfortunately these things are common when someone dies and I am sure others on here have had a similar problem and can advise you.

I wish you all the best Stephanie and hope you can resolve it without a court battle. Let us know what happens.

Rochelle

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Thanks for the posts, my stepfather won't talk to us about it, and I have no idea who his lawyer is etc., so we'll see. It is sucky all together, but I guess at the endof the day, it is just stuff, and he can't take our memories, ya know?

RY. . .heheheh, I am a California girl , just away on business. . .hehehe.

Hope you are well.

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What a mess. I really feel sorry for you. You just don't need this on top of everything else. IMO, you, your sister, and aunt need an attorney. Tell him/her the story and see what he/she can do. What do the "legal experts" on the board think about this? (Note, thanks to chemo brain or just plain aging, I can't remember how to spell the plural of attorney (yet my son is one) and I'm too lazy to look it up. It will come to me later.

Good luck with this. You, your sister, and aunt deserve the things your mother always thought you would have. Guess your stepfather didn't like you!

Muriel K

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Muriel -

ATTORNEYS. Yep, that's a tricky one! :lol:

Stephanie -

So glad to see you back, but hate that you're having to deal with this on top of your grief. I'm sure there will be others who'll see this message and be able to offer good advice. But I won't even try, cause I haven't a clue.

Praying for us all,

TeeTaa

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Thanks for the post

so sorry about your mom, I know that you miss her so much.

darn it anyway, what a situation.

Too bad I can't help you. I am so glad that my Dad had the wisdom not

to re-marry. He said," everything will go to you kids. I have had my family and she has had hers."

It made her an un-honest woman, but we didn't care.

Sounds like the stepF is a butt germ. (And needs to be wiped out)

Good luck.

Cindi

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Stephanie,

It is so good to hear from you again, Dear One, even if it is for such an awful reason.

Private message me with your Mom's home address, name of the county (not absolutely necessary because I can look that up), legal name and I will find out where her will has been probated, the terms of the will, the Probate Court Judge and other information that will help you find out what you need to know. I know this isn't a matter of money for you and Cris, but even if it were you are entitled to whatever it is that your Mother has left to you. And the only way you will know is if you see a copy of the will. There are Federal issues when it comes to estates as well, so this isn't just a state matter.

I am so very sorry that this has happened. I am so very sorry that your Step Father called you such an awful name. Thank goodness you had the foresight to not sign over power of attorney to him. I want to help.

Much Affection,

Fay A.

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Stephanie

Do you know who your mom's lawyer is? Since your step dad was married to your mom, and if no will was filed, he doesn't have to file it--he could say there is no will. In that case property automatically goes to a surviving spouse. First, you need proof there was a will. Check with your mom's lawyer. I imagine she did make one. But I would start there.

Glad to hear from you.

If I am wrong, I am sure someone will correct me. States do differ.

Estates under a certain amount don't always have to be probated and in assets that were in both her and your step dad's name automatically go to him.

If you are wanting items of importance to you, I would try talking to him or a family member, and then if that doesn't help seek an attorney.

elaine

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Stephanie,

You don't have to put up with this and there are ways to fight it. As I see it, you have two obstacles to overcome: distance and whether the value of your mom's assets is worth the cost of hiring an attorney to fight. Only you can answer those questions, but I hope and pray that you get those sentimental things that mean so much to you and your sister.

All my love,

Peggy

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Hey everyone,

Thanks for all the support and advice.

The thing is, she did have a will, but he won't show it to us and is claiming she left it all to him, and this may be true, but there has been some weird things, like that he wanted me to give him full power of attorney over myself before I left for Denmark, and he told my sister how broke they are, etc. Now none of us want money, just like I said, we want the truth and also some of the sentimental things.

anyhow, to answer someones post (sorry I don't remember who exactly) no he never liked me, ever, and I know only put up with me becuase he loved Mom. It does suck, but what can a person do? I try to forgive him for being a jerk, but then again, I am going throuh this also, and my feeleings have never even been considered about Mom,. Also I agree that it may not be worth it to get a lawyer involved, we will try to see if we can see the will from Probate I guess, and then go from there. Thanks so much for all your support again.

HUGS to all my friends and family here.

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Hey there young Stephanie -- who you callin' old anyway??

It's good to hear from you. I've got three words for you: Lawyer, Lawyer, Lawyer. Or if that doesn't work... maybe me and some of da boys here on da board could go pays him a visit... if ya knows wot I means...

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as a child of the deceased, depending on the laws in your state, you should have 50% claim to the estate off the bat. Unless your mother specifically states in her will that her children get only "this" or get "nothing" or are "hereby excluded" from any claim to her estate.

For your own peace of mind, get a look at that will. There's nothing wrong with getting an attorney. Your rights need to be protected too.

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Steph,

No will for your Mom under the names you provide has been presented for probate in the county where she resided.

Property values at this time indicate that the homes in that particular development are worth more than the $100,000 or less that would exempt your Step Dad from probate. You need to check with the assessors office for the value at the time of her death, but you may also want to check with a local real estate professional for some comps from that time period.

I've sent you some private email messages with additional information.

I am so sorry that this is happening. I'm just so sorry.

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It depends on the state's laws about who gets what. Not every state has that 50% to the children, 50% to the spouse law. It doesn't work that wayin Virginia.

Lawyer Lawyer Lawyer. You and your sister can split the cost and trust me, it would be worth it, especially for the sentimental things.

I can't believe that a person as caring, thoughtful, considerate, talented and plain ole' NICE as your Mom would be married to someone like this. But again, weddings and funerals can bring out the worst in some folks.

Fay - you are the most resourceful person I have ever met!

Karen

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Steph,

Have your Aunt or sister contact the County Recorder's office to see if by some small chance your Mom had her will recorded at the time the will was drawn.

You and your sister should really consult an attorney ASAP. Doing nothing could be taken as acceptance on your parts.

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thanks everyone, and David, I didn't mean old. . .heheheeheh. you are so funny. :D We will work it out, but all the advice helps so much.

This is the business side of it, and I hate it. and I just miss her so much right now, with her birthday comeing up next Wed, this is the last thing I want to be thinking about.,

I will see if my sister can talk to my stepfather first before we do anymore.

HUGS Steph

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