Ann

Water: Carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop. However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer >or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Poop Wine = Health Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of sh*t. There's no need to thank me for this valuable information; I'm doing it as a public service.

Missy, like others, I know that one day you will be glad that you and your Mom were able to talk about this. Don't think that this means your spunky Mom has given up. She just wants to talk with her family and let them know that she's alright with life. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

I did call my MIL "Mom" but never felt comfortable calling my FIL by anything other than his name. I think the reason I did this was because Dennis was much closer to his Mom than he was to his Dad.

Do you/Did you call your inlaws by their names or refer to them as Mom and Dad?

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a few minutes, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, do you want to hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediatly falls silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman sitting next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things." 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl 3. I'm a six foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional wrestler. 5. The lady to your right is a professional weight lifter. Now. think about it seriously, Mister, Do you still want to tell that blonde joke? The blind man thinks about it for a second, shakes his head, and mutters No.......Not if I'm going to have to explain it five times.

I always wondered why and now I know... 1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!" 2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." 3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." 4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" 5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?" 6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?" 7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!" DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. " 9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes." 10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" 11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend -- my mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer. The hurt was so intense; I found it hard to breathe at times. Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my school plays, held a box of tissues while listening to my first heartbreak, comforted me at my father's death, encouraged me in college, and prayed for me my entire life. When mother's illness was diagnosed, my sister had a new baby and my brother had recently married his childhood sweetheart, so it fell on me, the 27-year-old middle child without entanglements, to take care of her. I counted it an honor. "What now, Lord?" I asked sitting in church. My life stretched out before me as an empty abyss. My brother sat stoically with his face toward the cross while clutching his wife's hand. My sister sat slumped against her husband's shoulder, his arms aro und her as she cradled their child. All so deeply grieving, no one noticed I sat alone. My place had been with our mother, preparing her meals, helping her walk, taking her to the doctor, seeing to her medication, reading the Bible together. Now she was with the Lord. My work was finished, and I was alone. I heard a door open and slam shut at the back of the church. Quick footsteps hurried along the carpeted floor. An exasperated young man looked around briefly and then sat next to me. He folded his hands and placed them on his lap. His eyes were brimming with tears. He began to sniffle. "I'm late," he explained, though no explanation was necessary. After several eulogies, he leaned over and commented, "Why do they keep calling Mary by the name of 'Margaret?'" "Because that was her name, Margaret. Never Mary. No one called her 'Mary,'" I whispered. I wondered why this person couldn't have sat on the other side of the church He interrupted my grieving with his tears and fidgeting. Who was this stranger anyway? "No, that isn't correct," he insisted, as several people glanced over at us whispering, "Her name is Mary, Mary Peters." "That isn't who this is." "Isn't this the Lutheran church?" "No, the Lutheran church is across the street." "Oh." "I believe you're at the wrong funeral, Sir." The solemnest of the occasion mixed with the realization of the man's mistake bubbled up inside me and came out as laughter. I cupped my hands over my face, hoping it would be interpreted as sobs. The creaking pew gave me away. Sharp looks from other mourners only made the situation seem more hilarious. I peeked at the bewildered, misguided man seated beside me. He was laughing, too, as he glanced around, deciding it was too late for an uneventful exit. I imagined Mother laughing. At the final "Amen," we darted out a door and into the parking lot. "I do believe we'll be the talk of the town," he smiled. He said his name was Rick and since he had missed his aunt's funeral, asked me out for a cup of coffee. That afternoon began a lifelong journey for me with this man who attended the wrong funeral, but was in the right place. A year after our meeting, we were married at a country church where he was the assistant pastor. This time we both arrived at the same church, right on time. In my time of sorrow, God gave me laughter. In place of loneliness, God gave me love. This past June we celebrated our twenty-second wedding anniversary. Whenever anyone asks us how we met, Rick tells them, "Her mother and my Aunt Mary introduced us, and it's truly a match made in heaven."

Once you've formed an opinion, do you stand behind it, ready to defend it vigorously at any time ?

Joanie...I miss you !!!

Grace....I just wanted to say that I'm pulling for you! I know how very tough this is. I so remember the stage that I went through when I felt so much anager. I was even angry at Dennis for leaving me, although I knew he had no choice. Like you, I also went for a vsit with Deenis' oncologist and clinical trial nurse. It took me over a year to make that trip but once I did, it somehow helped me find closure. I think it was good for you to do this early on. Be strong, Grace. God is with you and we're all asking Him to stay right there by your side.

Oh, Randy...I am so very sorry. I'm sure your two "best girls" are so very happy to be reunited. And Yes, I'm sure they are both watching over you.

(((((Lil))))) I was here and do remember those very dark and bitter days you had, as we all did. It's amazing to see how far you have come since the first time we chatted. I'm so proud of you! I'm so happy that you are finally going to be able to enjoy life, once again. Please know, that I will always consider you a very dear friend!!!

This is a tough one for me, as Dennis always said he loved me at first sight but it took me a couple of days to feel the same way...lol! My college roommate and I both worked part-time at a Shoney's Restuarant in Knoxville. She was sick, so I was filling a shift for her. Dennis and his best friend were traveling through Knoxville, headed to his parents in Florida. They sat at one of my tables and Dennis drove me crazy ordering cup after cup of coffee. He kept asking me for my phone number and said he would like to get together the next day. I never gave my number to strangers, but I saw someting special in him and figured he's probably never call anyway. well, bright and early the next morning, he called. I answered the phone, half asleep and hung up on him. Thanks goodness he called back and this time I didn't hang up. Four months later, we began out 21 year journey together!!!

My family pictures and my Mom's Bible.

Wonderful, Jamie!!! Such good news!!! God is good!!!

Keeping you and your Mom in my thoughts and prayers.

So very sorry for the loss of your Dad.

You can have everything I own except __________.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Was your marriage/partnership the result of a 'whirlwind romance' or a long courtship ?

The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday School every week. On one Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was. While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, "Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?" "Why yes, that would be nice," the lady responded. Well, the gentleman couldn't believe his luck. On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina. When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested, "Would you like a cocktail before dinner?" "Oh, no," said our circumspect fine example of southern womanhood, "What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?" Well, our gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked, "Would you like a smoke?" "Oh my goodness no," said the woman. "I couldn't face my Sunday School class if I did?" Well, our boy felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He'd been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, "Ahhh .. mmmm how would you like to stop at this motel?" "Sure, that would be nice," she said in anticipation. The gentleman couldn't believe his ears, and did a fast u-turn right then and there, and drove back to the motel and checked in. The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible sex, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Dixie darling lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, "What the hell have I done?" He shook her awake and pleaded, "I've got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?" The lady said, "The same thing I always tell them. 'You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time'."

((((((((((Shirley)))))))))) These special days can really knock us off our feet. It seems no matter how many years pass, we still take certain dates so hard. I will certainly raise a toast to you and Randy and the love you shared for so many years. I hope you can reflect on many happy memories today and remember that the good times always outweighed the bad. You're such a great friend and I will always be here for you.

Melinda, just remember that we will be here for you. I know how tough this all is but just think of how many supportive shoulders you have to lean on!!!

I think it was so very nice that the Hospice nurse called your Mum to check on her. Our Hospice has a grief support group that is availabe to caregivers and family members for one year after the death of their loved one. Like your Mum, I never felt very comfortable speaking about Dennis with strangers in a group. In my case, most of the participants were much older than I was and seemed to feel that they had the patent on grieving. I found more peace from talking with close friends and family. I also wrote in a journal every day. I formed my writings like a letter to Dennis. I would share what I was doing, what the boys were doing and general things happening in day-to-day life. It seemed as if I was talking to him and I also felt he was listening. Now, I go back and read those journals and see how far I've come in the healing process. There are still days that I pull out my journals and write to Dennis. Maybe this would be good therapy for your Mum. Saying prayers for your family.

I am so sorry that you are being placed in this situation. I know how pressured you can feel when you're trying to make decisions for others. The very best thing to remember is that your Mom should be allowed to make her own decisions about her care, as long as possible. I do know that some patients feel that dying is easier than fighting the cancer, especially if they have experienced a lot of pain along the way. Just keep open communications with your Mom and always try to know what she truly wants. She may be more willing to fight the cancer if she knows how supportive you are. I'll be saying prayers...for both of you.

So very sorry that your Mom is not doing well. I know this will be a rough trip home for you. Please know that we will be keeping you and your Mom in our thoughts and prayers.