Carleen, what you are experiencing is normal. You are threatening with losing your husband, and that has overturned your life. Your husband has the right idea -- get out and enjoy. Take a lesson from him and do the same. We all, survivors and caregivers, have to carve out part of the life that is "cancer free" and enjoy it. It is the only way we can survive. And maybe, when your husband went off, you resented not having that time with him because you feel there isn't that much. Actually, you both need some time apart, as well as together. I'm pleased for your husband recognizing his needs and acting on them. I am sorry it caused distress for you. Think of constructive ways to find life and live it abundantly. Blessings. Don