Believe me your reaction to all this is really normal. I was told I had a tumor in my right uppper lobe of lung when I went to the clinic for shoulder pain. I though I had pulled a muscle , never dreamt of being told I had cancer! I cried all the way home, called my husband and could barely tell him what happened because of my weaping. I had lost weight recently at the time also. Try to at least drink some boost or carnation instant breakfast. Great that you have a church community. Mine helped me out so much with emotional support, rides to chemo, and lots of prayers ( It has been scientifally proven that people do better when prayed for , even if they don't know it is being done) I was so upset I even was annointed , which I believe helped also. Most of us during treatment are helped by antidepressants. From your post your journey is just beginning, lots of tests, appointments, setting up a plan. This can be beaten. Please keep us posted on your progress. Donna G