Andrea B.

Thanks for the update! Dear Mo, I am looking forward to seeing your posts again. You are a fighter and I am pulling all my positive thoughts for you. You have always been there for me. I am so sorry you are hurting. Hugs to you.

Dear Kelly, I am so so sorry for the loss of your beloved father. Sounds like the memorial service was a wonderful tribute to a loving and devoted man. I know what is like to feel a huge void, so I am wishing you some peace and comfort during this difficult time. Hugs and blessings, Andrea B.

Cheri, I am so truly sorry for your loss. Many memories fill the void of your brother's physical presence. Blessings to you.

Dearest Shelly, I am so very sorry...my heart is breaking for you. I wish I had the words to mend your pain. No one should ever have to endure what you have been through over the past year. Please know I am here for you. I am wishing you some much needed comfort and peace in the days ahead. A big hug is being sent your way. So very very sorry....

Mr. Johnson had been retired for a year when his wife of 50 years suggested they take a cruise: "We could go somewhere for a week, and make wild love like we did when we were young!" He thought it over and agreed. He put on his hat and went down to the pharmacy, where he bought a bottle of seasick pills and a box of condoms. Upon returning home, his wife said, "I've been thinking. There is no reason we can't go for a month." So Mr. Johnson went back to the pharmacy and asked for 12 bottles of seasick pills and a box of condoms. When he returned, his wife said, "You know, since the children are on their own, what's stopping us from cruising the world?" So back to the pharmacy he went, and brought 297 bottles of seasick pills and the same amount of condoms up to the counter. The pharmacist finally had to ask. "You know, Mr. Johnson, you have been doing business with me for over 30 years. I certainly don't mean to pry, but if it makes you that sick, why the hell do you do it?"

Hugs to you! Cherish those fond memories of your loving dad and I hope you got to go bowling. You have a guardian angel who is always watching out for you. Blessings to you.

Dear Cathy, I wish I had the words to tell you how it gets better. I am still trying to figure it out myself. My mom passed away over a month ago and the pain is so raw it feels like just yesterday. There are moments that I am paralyzed with grief. I try to life and pretend I am happy, but truly I am not experiencing the joy of life. Someone once told me that grief is one of the loneliest roads you will ever travel and there is so much truth to that. After my mom's service it seems the cards, phone calls, letters start dwindling as everyone gets back to their life. But I am left with a life that I don't want and don't know how to proceed with. I need my mom. I am angry, sad, distraught, and sick that I will never get to hold her or hear her voice again. I miss her with all my being. I don't know how to tell you if gets "better". But I can tell you that you are not alone. Hugs to you, Andrea B.

Happy Belated Birthday, Dear Katie! Thank you for all that you do and for all that you are. What a blessing you are to each of us. Wishing you much happiness. Love, Andrea B.

Dear Curtis, Thank you for keeping us updated and for the beautiful new photo of Becky and Katie. My heart filled with both happiness and sadness from your update. What wonderful memories you have to cherish. Blessings to you and that sweet girl. Please let us know how you are doing in SA. Sorry I won't be able to help with the move - not fond of the tarantulas in the Lone Star State.

Happy Birthday, MO! Many blessings to you. Hugs, Andrea B.

Dear Shelly, I am sorry to hear about your dear father. It is so hard when life throws us curve balls and we have no control. Please know I am thinking of you. Take all the time you need. We are always here for you. Take care, Andrea B.

Dear Ginny, I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear sister. Hugs to you.

First and foremost, I am praying for Fay A. and all the others that are traveling the path of lung cancer. God, how it is something I never wanted to endure and I am always praying for those that have to. The top priority is supporting those who are battling lung cancer, those who have loved ones battling lung cancer and those who have lost loved ones to lung cancer. With that said, I wasn't going to reply but felt the need. This whole topic makes me sad. When I joined this message board over a year ago, I posted in different forums...I included how I was so scared at the grim statistics, I posted about how I was scared of the unknowns that lie ahead, I posted on how bad my mom was doing (in different forums) I posted about dreary topics...but everyone picked me back up. They offered me hope and encouragement. Now I see people replying "attacking" those that post these kinds of things. I know I am the most vulnerable I have ever been in my life and to receive criticism from anyone right now would not help me in the least. I am sad to sit and wonder if this is the place for me to come anymore. It has been my saving grace. But now I don't want to sit and hold in all my feelings for fear of setting someone else off. I have lived my life to please others and this is one time in my life where I have to put myself first. I am sorry for rambling, but this just really makes me sad. I truly hate to think I can't come here for the support I need.

Dearest Peg, First I am sending you a big hug. Second, I don't know what it is like losing a spouse, but I do know what it is like losing someone who was my best friend and an integral part of my life. We all grieve differently and unfortunately as I am learning...grief is very lonely. HOW DO WE DO THIS...I just begged my counselor to answer that question for me. How do I go on...how do I stop the feelings of wanting to join my mom...how do I stop missing her so badly that I can't breathe...how do I find any joy out of life...how do I look at my daughter and go on knowing she will never have her beloved grandma to hug her. I don't know how, because it is nothing I can control. I just somehow manage to get up every day, and function. But don't deny yourself any of your grief feelings, don't try to pretend you are okay for everyone else. Sit with your feelings and allow yourself the ability to acknowlege that you aren't okay and life will never feel the same. But one day you will learn how to function again in the way that we are forced to function without our loved ones. I think too often our society wants us to be okay, when we aren't. They don't allow us to take the time to mourne. Do this for yourself and encourage your daughter to do the same. I wish I had the answers for you, I wish someone had the answers for me. All we can do is lean on one another, until life seems manageable again. Blessings and hugs to you dear Peg.

I too would love to have a forum that was for those of us that want to rant and rave. I am going through extreme anger as I deal with my grief and I don't post for fear of offending someone. I want to feel like I can speak from my heart, but unfortunately I don't always feel that is possible.

Prayers for you, TBone.

Dear emurphy, I felt your pain through your post. It reminds me so vividly of the pain I felt back in March 2003, when my mom was diagnosed. I felt helpless, lost, scared and completely in the dark. Through the care and compassion of so many here, I turned that around and became very active in my mom's treatment and care. It helped me tremendously to feel like I was doing something. Doctors have so much going on that they don't always know the latest surgeries or clinical trials...so you must be an advocate for yourself and loved one. For instance, is your mom eligible for Radio Frequency Ablation (RFA) for her liver tumors? Maybe she is eligible for the GVAX vaccine (if she has non-small cell lung cancer). I can honestly say that hope is what sustained me and my mom throughout her battle. She in fact never gave up and had received a chemo treatment one week prior to her passing. I also desperately know how you feel about being scared of losing your best friend. I unfortunately lost mine and am dealing with the daily pain. I have a 2 year old daughter and it pains me to know end that she won't have her loving grandma around to lead her through life. But your mom is here and there IS hope!!!! With every breath they take there remains hope. Your mom will be in my prayers.

Dear Andrea, The answer to your question is a resounding, YES! When my mom was diagnosed I remember thinking, "how can I lose my mom, why her". Then the anxiety of helplessness, the unknown, the pain of watching a loved one suffer, getting good news one day and then bad news a week later, the endless tests and dr. appts. Cancer has a way of not only affecting the patient, but the loved ones as well. My mom too always said, don't let worry run your life. She never did with cancer and I thought...if she doesn't how can I. I took comfort in doing all I could do for my mom and enjoying each day with her. I didn't wallow in self pity for her or for me. And I can tell you that to this day I don't have ANY regrets of how we spent our last year together. We made the most of each day, even though cancer was a huge shadow in our lives. Now that my mom is gone, I feel it is my time to grieve for her and allow myself some of that self pity. She would never want me to let it run my life...but unfortunately there are days it does. Like Shelly put it so well, the anxieties of cancer are gone, but now for me I am dealing with the huge void in my life. The physical sickness can get the best of me sometimes. But remember to take time for yourself. I find journaling or finding a quiet place to collect my thoughts really helps. Hugs to you.

Berisa, What beautiful photos! Thanks for sharing and giving us a glimpse into the life of your father. You can tell by the photos how much he loved his family. Blessings to you during this difficult time. Hugs, Andrea B.

Jane, Great news about the brain scan! My mom took had very erratic behavior, dillusions and times of incoherency. They did a brain scan too thinking it was mets, but turned out to be the steroids and pain medication. She barely remembered any of that time. Then she too suffered liver encephalopathy...this causes extreme confusion. We were told about it after we discovered she had liver mets. I am praying for you and your brother and that Taxotere helps to kill those cancer cells! Blessings to you.

Dear Margaret, Welcome to the family where you will find much needed support, hope and information. I am sorry your sister is going through so much. The roller coaster of cancer has many ups and downs. I will pray this new chemo regime will be very successful. My mom received Gemzar, it was in conjunction with Taxotere. She suffered severe shortness of breath and her oncologist thought it was due to the Gemzar, so he took her off. It was actually due to the cancer. Prior to her passing, she received two doses of Navelbine. Unfortunately for my mom, the cancer was too aggressive and nothing was successful. I do know that there are others here that have remained stable on Gemzar. The one thing to remember is cancer is different in every individual. What may not be successful for some has brought remission for others. Below is a list of chemos that someone on the board sent me that they researched. Prayers for your sister. CPT-11 with gemzar gemzar alone. CPT-11 alone. navelbine. taxotere.

Article on MSNBC on how gene testing will be done in advance to find out if Iressa will work for lung cancer patients. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4864060/

Oh my dearest Berisa, I am so very sorry and saddened by your beloved father's passing. I know you have already made your dad very proud. You gave him the utmost care and love these past 13 months. And I know you will continue to make him proud as he watches over you from heaven. May you find comfort in your memories. You are in my thoughts during this difficult time. I know it all to well, so please PM if you need to talk. Take care. Hugs to you, Andrea B.

Dear Andrea, I can tell you from my research that a couple of the reasons for the low survival rate on lung cancer...due to the size of the lungs the disease has already spread prior to diagnosis or any symptoms are experienced. This is why preventive measures such as chest xrays and Spiral CT scans are necessary. Also, due to the way the lung cells are made up (to help fight off all the toxins we breathe in) they are very resilent to chemo (the lung cells see the chemo as another toxin and it fights it off). This is my "nonmedical" understanding of why lung cancer is so low in the survival rate. Also, I think the stigma is a huge factor. This disease needs more funding!!!! Hugs to you.

Dear Denise, So sorry to hear about your mom...I am keeping her in my prayers that her condition will improve and the new chemo will kill all the nasty cancer cells! As far as blood clots, they are usually handled by medication. In my mom's case she was allergic to all blood thinners, so they needed to put a "screen" in to catch the blood clots. After they did this she had no more problems. As far as fluid on the lungs, I am not sure about whether it is caused by a reaction to chemo or LC. My mom had tremendous amounts of fluid on the lungs that she received Lasix for in order to help eliminate the fluid. She had a bad reaction to the combo Taxotere/Gemzar, which caused fluid and shortness of breath. I hope this helps some. Feel free to PM if you have any other questions or need to talk. Blessings and hugs to you, Andrea B.