Connie22

I'm with Don--I am looking forward to 2007 Good bye 2006!!! I don't want to forget, I just want to get on with living. I really tried to stay away from people that didn't understand grieving or the ones that thought I should have been over it. In the last month I have been through 3 firsts without Mom My b-day, next day was thanksgiving and now Christmas.Next month I have New Year's and the day she was dx'd, my daughters b-day and mom's b-day. Things will settle down a little in Feb. Please don't be too hard on yourself, it has really been a short time. Connie

I totally GET it!!!! This was the year I was taking my mom to Disneyworld for Christmas. We decided 4 years ago to forget the STRESS' at Christmas. Oh sure we went shopping but enjoyed every moment of it. We only bought for the immediate family, and didn't buy a lot of stuff, but we would take a vaca and also help the less fortunate. So last Christmas Day, the six of us (Mom,her husband, me, hubby,and 2 daughters) decided this Christmas, we would do stocking stuffers, and spent the week at Disneyworld.Well who knew that Mom would get sick on the 27th of Dec. I love Christmas time---but, I hate the hustle bustle and trying to pick the right gift for someone you hardly know, so I just don't do it. I feel like scrooge this year, but everyone says they understand. I love spending time with the family, which we will do, and we requested no gifts. I always feel like I need to buy a gift if someone gives me one, and I don't want to do that. So we suggested that everyone pick a family or a name from the angel tree and buy for them. The four of us, stuck with the idea of only stocking stuffers. We are leaving in the morning for Park City, Utah-skiing and snowboarding and we will return on Christmas Eve. We have family coming in that day from 6 hours away, so we are excited. Connie

The guilt thing can be unbearable, especially with everything else that is going on. You have been there for everything else, please be easy on yourself. I still carry some guilt and what if's and believe me it is starting to make me ill. As caregivers we need to remember to be kind to ourselves. Take care Kelly and if you ever need a shoulder please feel free to PM me. I don't have alot of answers but I have been there. Hugs and Prayers Connie

Ernie, this is a great story, thanks for sharing it with us-I know I needed it!!!

GREAT news!

She is beautiful!!!! She looks so tiny, it's hard to remember them that size. I love the name. Connie

I made them!!!!! They are wonderful-NOT good for my diet though. Snickers is the candy bar of choice here-so that is what I used. I was worried about the chocolate ozing all over the place-No problem. Thanks for the recipe. Connie

Rochelle, I am so sorry for this update!!! I pray for your mom to be comfortable and for you to focus on finishing up your presentations and exams. Hugs and prayers Connie

I think for me, it isn't so much about me passing, but if I hear one more time about how death comes in three's I will loose it. That scares the ***t out of me. It has been 6 months now since mom passed and i find myself waking up at 4:00 in the morning and wondering who is next. I analyze everything ex: dreams, finding something that I haven't seen in awhile, this behavior is just really bizarre to me. I am going to start yoga to see if that works. I also wonder how I would take the news and the tx that my mom was given. She was such a brave soul-never complaining and just enjoying every last minute of life. My thoughts and prayers are with each one of you-as we end this holiday season and 2006! I know I am hoping for a better 2007- Mom was dx on New years day of 2006 and started radiation that day. They opened the Radiation center just for her, because of the swelling with the Superior Vena Cava. So.....I think I will hang low for that week, and let the memories surface as they do.... Prayers and hugs Connie

Oh jackie I feel so horrible for your family. Have you talked to hospice, I don't have any experience with them, but do know of families that have had great responses especially with pain management. I am sure that others here will be along soon to offer their support. I just want you to know that I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs Connie

I am so sorry to read this news. Please be assured that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am hoping this is just a little bump in your mom's journey. Praying for strength and courage for you and your family. Hugs and Prayers Connie

Stephanie, I think Randy said it well. DO NOT think like that. We never thought like that with my mom and we had a really good 5 months. We made the best out of going to radiation and chemo, stopping for snacks and just plain visiting with everyone. ATTITUDE is everything in this fight. Never once did we complain about the cards we were dealt. Did it stink-it sure did, but we all held our heads up high and carried on. You will be surprised at how many you attract with this positive attitude. Every where we went, they could not believe the smile on our faces and my mom was a styling lady in her nice clothes and make-up. When she was too worn out to do her hair and make-up, I made sure I was there to do it. It really helped with her attitude. This site is wonderful, to come here and express exactly how you feel. We will all try and help you as much as possible. Please try and make the most of each day, sometimes we get down to the hours, but it is all worth it. I would do it again for my mom. Hugs and Prayers Connie

Geri this is super news!!!! I will definately raise a glass Saturday night in your honor.

I totally believe her. This is a true sign that she is present. I'm with Frank....a true believer.

I totally understand and pray for comfort and peacefullness for you and your family Connie

When I greive for my mom, it is mainly for selfish reasons such as....How much I miss her, one more cup of coffee with her, and one more hug. I can honestly say I regret nothing. We had the best relationship one could ask for. I too am interested to hear what the counselor meant. I have never heard this reasoning. Connie

Chris- My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. Prayers and Hugs Connie

Don This is a nice obituary and beautiful pictures. I am soooo sorry for your loss. God bless you and your family. Hugs and Prayers Connie

nutter fluff sandwiches. Peanut butter and marshmellow creme. I haven't eaten one in years....but it sure does sound good.

I too am so sorry for your loss. Hugs and Prayers Connie

Deb-It has been 3 1/2 months for me, since I lost my mother. She too was my best friend not a day went by without us talking, for at least the last 20 years. I still cry everyday, I miss her soooo much. I think if I allow myself to grieve for her, when I need to, it helps with the healing process. I started keeping a journal, which I didn't think would help, but it does. I say exactly how I feel in there and noone responds with "it will get easier". I hated those words when Mom died. My crying episodes don't seem to last as long, it doesn't mean I miss her less, I can now talk it out. I remember when she passed for the first 2 months or so, I just wanted to be with her. My husband is a workaholic, so he is never home, plus he doesn't know how to deal with this, so I had to find my own way to grieve. I hate it when my friends say things like "I know what you are going through". How can they know unless they have lost their mother and best friend. This truely does suck, and I hope you too can find your own way to grieve. Hugs and Prayers Connie

Oh Carleen--This is absolutely beautiful. The love you have for each other will always carry on. Everyone here on this earth should know this kinda love. God Bless you!!! Hug and Prayers Connie

Melinda, I have thought of you and your family on a daily basis. I am so sorry for your loss. Many prayers and hugs. Connie

Don I feel very sad reading yur post...It is so very hard. I will say extra prayers for you and Lucy and your family. Hugs Conie

I agree Lori it is so irratating and frusterating. Atavin is what made my mom so out of it. We had a really hard time waking her, and this is when she was suppose to be coming home. They claim they use it for anxiety but it sure made me anxious. Am still praying you and your family. Best of luck Prayers and Hugs Connie