EastCoastLadi

Jenny, I am so sorry about your dad, I know exactly how you feel, I saw my dad go downhill quickly too, I hated seeing him that way, but please have some faith that the drs. will make him as comfortable as possible. I am also the mom of 2 beautiful girls like yours! and you need to be strong for them, you can, I had to be. It can be a very difficult time for the girls especially if they are very close with their grandfather. My daughters were, but when he passed, they missed him but they knew that he was very sick and not in pain anymore. But for right now, I am sending out my prayers for your dad and family. Grace

Pam, First hello! My husband just went through WBR a he finished about 5 weeks ago, he went for 20 rounds and he did just fine!!! I think the worse things for him were, #1 he became extremely tired, but he rested when he needed to rest and secondly I would say that he had was a bad burn on the back of his head, eventually it went away, the radiologist prescribed something called "silvercreme" - ( i think it was that), probably what you want to do is make sure your husband has some of that cream or something similar. Also, he was given gel, (i forgot the name) to rub on his scalp before treatments. Just to let you know he had about 17 mets in his brain, and when he had his MRI a couple of weeks ago, he was all clear!!!!! So I hope and pray that your husband has the success with WBR that my husband did. If he has the reactions my husband had, I know he and you can handle it. Please keep us up to date.. Grace

Nancy, I am praying all goes well for you!!! Grace

Hey Mytime, Please don't give up hope!!! You fought an incredible battle w/ Hodgkins and won!!!! I too am an oldmother, my husband is even an olderfather at 53, our girls are 8 and 11. So I know all too well about the fears. Please understand you are not a statistic, everyone is unique, but I am glad you found lcsc, please don't hesitate to come around, ask ?, chat. **please check out the following website....to see what I mean.. Grace http://cancerguide.org/median_not_msg.html

Lori, It really is frightening to see someone you love so much in so much pain. I know that w/ my dad that was one of hardest things to see, but I'm glad that they do have her pain under control. My dad had a pump and your right you can't OD, in fact if she needs more or less they can control it. I hope she is doing better. Grace

Tina, I am sorry about Kays' passing. I'm glad that she got to see the grandchildren, I know that bought her some peace. My prayers are going out to your family at this time. Grace

Mark, I am so sorry that you are going through all this pain. But please don't give up hope! My husband also has sclc and he has had to stop because of chemo side effects. I know that there are alot more options for you, you don't know what your tests will show. I feel that you live moment to moment, treasure the good and let the bad ones pass....Also you can come here and vent, babble on...whatever. Prayers are coming your way for you. Grace

Gwen, I don't know what to tell you except, you definitely want to get another opinion about this development as soon as possible. If his tumor is gone that would be great news, I am hoping for the best for your dad. Grace

Lisa, I am sorry about your dad. I lost my dad to cancer last Aug. It was very difficult to see him go downhill. Please take comfort in knowing that he is at peace and no longer has to deal with this terrible disease. I send my prayers to you and your family at this time. Grace

Carleen, I don't know what to say to you, but I feel that I have to say whatever comes to my mind. I too am very mad at God..my faith is aweful, I do know about tragedy after tragedy happening, I've been living in it for about 4 years. You have all the right in the world to feel the way that you do, I think that the hardest part is that you feel all alone. You my be physically alone right at this moment, but please know that you have many people right here! that are here for you, maybe we can't come over in person, but we can be here emotionally, compassionately whenever you need to. I don't know the "whys" I wish I did, too much pain, I too get so angry. I think about what I will do when my husband is no longer around. I got a big reality call yesterday when my husband was starting a new chemo, 3rd time, and I saw his new onc. treatment papers, he had him "classified" as "pallative", I know what that means, it is the very last word I want to hear right now. I want to cry, I try to do that in private, or I come here, this place is like my own sanctuary. Yes, as time goes on people do slowly disappear, back off, hell I've seen it now and my husband is still here. I know you know that whatever way you try to prepare yourself, it doesn't take away the pain. I know life is aweful for you, but the awefullness will lessen, you will learn to cope, you never forget, and it's ok. By reading your posts and chats online w/you, I know, we know that you had a wonderful marriage with Keith, embrace that, because I always haven't had the best marriage and a few times I thought it was over. But know I'm trying to have a good, positive marriage w/ my husband because I rather have a short time of wonderful memories and feelings vs. years of misery and anger. I pray that your pregnancy is ok, I really do. When you said God has his reasons, I can't understand why some of the reasons would hurt people. I thought God was suppose to be all loving? I see good people like you suffering, struggling and then there are cruel, aweful people and nothing happens to them, they seem to slide by life, like teflon, nothing touches them. In terms of your finances, I too understand the dire situation you're in. Today I got a call from a bill collector and boy did I have it out w/her. I've been making payments every month, but these people want to suck the last penny out of me. I know that you are entitled to Keiths' Social Security benefits, and you can make arrangements for the payments for the funeral, hey my family is still paying for my dads' funeral and he died almost a year ago. But Carleen, please please know that I will be there for you, I want you to know that, if I can't be right away, I will be, that's who I am, I just can't help it. Grace

Carleen, I just don't understand why?, I am very sorry about the sadness you are going through. It is times like these that I question my faith in God. I want to know the "why". Please, once again you are surrounded by many near and far who really care about you. Grace

Kat, I really can understand how you are feeling, I lost my dad to bladder cancer last Aug. he was only 64, it was such a very difficult time, and he went through alot, pain, chemo, radiation, surgeries..but it was too powerful too fast for him. A month later to the day, my husband is at the ER for possible pneumonia, and they find a tumor in his lung, after tests, biopsies, it was lung cancer, and not a very good prognosis. So I know, its' such a battle, it's like cancer is now a major part of your life, you fight to keep the ones you love around, you want to have control to try to help as much as you can, sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. I think I went around for months after my husbands' diagnosis, saying "this is too hard", over and over again. But somehow, just moment by moment you can have some strength, and of course in the next breath you can totally lose it. It ok, to feel, to be frustrated, to grieve. I send my prayers out to you and your mom. Grace

Kim, I know all too well about your world being turned upside down. But also know that your mom can and will be treated. This is not an easy road to go down, but you being there for your mom is one of the best things in the world she needs right now. Please know that there are many people, with many stories about dealing with this awful disease!...Know that you have found a very supportive place here, please don't hesistate to come here.. Grace

Lori, Wonderful!!! you deserve all the accolades for your hard work!!! I am very happy that at this point w/ your mom that she is comfortable and surround by loving family!! Grace

Joseppie, Unfortunately it can be something you have no control over, but perhaps they quite don't know how to approach you. What usually happens is that everyone is second-guessing everyone else about the whys and why nots. You just may have to be the "bigger" person to step up. I know that it can be pretty crummy and you may feel like you always have to make the first step, if you do perhaps its that people see you as the "strong" on. Also, like Eppie said, you can come here and talk, vent, cry, laugh... whatever you want to and need to, someone is always here. Grace

Tina, My prayers and thoughts are with Kay, you and your family at this difficult time. Grace

Linda, I am so sorry about your mom, yes she is at peace. My prayers go out to you and your family. Grace

Deb, I've listed below some websites that might help you out in your situation. I am very sorry that you are going thru this, please know that this community is a wonderful place for support! Grace PATIENT ADVOCATE FOUNDATION http://www.patientadvocate.org/index.php AROUND.ORG http://www.iaround.org/lung_cancer_fina ... stance.php *** gives links to various resources

TiffsMom, Like many others I am so sorry about your daughter, it just isn't fair. Can you tell us more, such as where exactly is she getting treatment, were there any other options given to you? Perhaps there may be somewhere out here who may be able to give you some information. With your daughters age, the oncs. perhaps want to take more chances w/ treatment, ie. more agressive. I know that w/ my husband, he still is pretty young for his type of cancer sclc, but overall pretty healthy, so they keep on throwing everything at him, of course it is at a high risk, so it is risk vs. benefits. Please keep in touch. Grace

Judy, I am so very very sorry about the passing of your husband. Please take some solace in knowing that he truly is at peace and cancer is no longer a part of him. Also know that this is a special place to come to, there are no judgments or criticisms, but pure love and support. Grace

justjen, I am so sorry about your dad, I remember when my dad was sent home to hospice, and for him gradually (althought the drs. thought it would be sooner than later), his body wore down. My dad couldn't get an iv sent home too, I think that he would have had to stay at the hosp. for it. But we made him eat and drink whatever he could at home. He did ok for a few weeks but eventually his body started to shut down, he wasn't in pain, slept alot, couldn't walk, maybe sit up a few mins. at a time. In the very end, he slipped in and out of consciousness, and was very glassy-eyed. His final day he wasn't responsive at all, couldn't squeeze my hand, but did respond to my mom. It is a very difficult thing to go through, everyone is different, so I can only tell you about my dad. You definitely should talk to the hospice nurse and social worker about the whats, hows and whys w/ your dad. Once again I am very sorry.. Grace

Shirley, I am so psyched!!!! I'm really very happy to know that there are definitely options for your dad, and it sounds like the new onc. is on the ball!!!!! Happy 4th.... **** Also Happy 4th to you too Chris, I'm going out to see the fireworks w/ the girls now!!!! Grace

Tina, I am so sorry you are going through this, I pray that you MIL is comfortable, I know that her drs. will do their very best. I am sending out prayers to her, you and your family. Grace

Tina, I am so sorry about Kay, hopefully they can get her breathing under control and make her comfortable. I'm sending prayers her way. Grace

Linda, This is definitely an overwhelming situtation. From a legal perspective it sounds like your mom is incapable of making the right decisions for herself, you could go the way of declaring her incompetent, but it is quite an ordeal, my mom did it w/ my grandmother. I also agree w/ Don.. are you her POA? I was my dads' and oversaw his finances. It sounds like it's coming to the time where you have to step back and admit that you can't control everything that your mother is going thru. I'd also like to know is your mom on any medications that can help her w/ her agitation, perhaps the best thing she needs at this point is to be sediated, I know you may not like hearing these things, but you can't burn yourself out. Definitely talk w/ the social workers. I think that maybe you taking on caring for you mom right now would be an incredible task for you to do. It is ok to say NO, you're not a bad daughter. Please keep us up to date. Grace