Nick C

#1, I would say order the MRI before you see the onc. Do you want to go down one path of treatment only to find there are now other things which need to be done? Call monday to the doc who gave the PET, have him/her order the MRI and that way the onc will know everything. Given the diagnosis, the forgetfulness (which you say is unusual) and the PET results, I think to all of that at least says get the MRI out of the way ASAP. I could tell you don't like "more waiting" based on your post...a visit to the onc without the MRI already dne will probably result in more waiting. #2 Is there someone going to these appointments with her? It is often overwhelming, esp. that first onc meeting, so I would think two sets of ears would be best. #3 in response to your question 4, the answer is, it depends. Just go with your mom's wishes, make sure she has all the info she needs, and the rest will work itself out. Best of luck.

Oh my...that is so quick and so sad. I am very sorry.

I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

This is very sad to read...so sorry.

Very sad to read this. She was extremely cool.

I don't find that off topic and it makes a lot of sense. i'm sure others have those days in their lives where something is missing...and what does one do with that. I have those days...this probably will help me understand them slightly better

My thoughts are with you.

Thanks for keeping us posted...it's good that he is with the pros.

very cool happy birthday

Prognosis is a range and then they come up with an average...but that is made up of MANY different outcomes. So it is impossible to say. Right now, the most important thing to get past is the pneumonia. And then #2 would be to start with the basics that Ned brought up...and they are EXCELLENT advice. Finally, I always advise someone in the family to go to appointment with the patient, there is always a lot of overwhelming info and it sometimes takes days to sort through and straighten out. Good luck and when you need support/advice/answers many here have it or can point you in the right direction!

Did someone here start a Non profit that would give chemo centers personal dvd players?

You are in the right place..lotsa support to be found here.

Marci, I am so sorry to read this. We'll be here.

Linda, I am so sorry. Whether where you are in life could be better or worse, your grief is real, and you are entitled to feel the sorrow, though we wish you never had to have it in the first place. We'll certainly be here, many here understand.

Thanks everyone, I will post pics from the party, but here is one from last week, per Kasey's request...note Sophie's eyelashes...that's all my mom.

There will always be things in life that would be great to have my mom at. Most of these things I have experienced at least once without her. Christmas, Thanksgiving, birth of a child etc. But today is Sophie's one year birthday party. The first of many birthday celebrations for Sophie and hopefully at least one other kid one day. But today is the first. And I don't get to see my mom's smile at the day. And all week I've been in a funk. Boy do I miss her. On top of that one of my buddies did one of these face book lists, 15 albums that shaped your life, so I did my list. This one brought up SO many memories. One of my albums is "The Point" by Nilsson. This album used to make me tear up even before mom was sick...it's such a fond childhood memory of mine. I found the CD today as Keri has never heard it. I told her I couldn't listen to it. Not a chance. I opened the CD and read the first two lines of the first song and broke down. That was enough of that. Amazing how much I miss her.

Next post hopefully is that you wet to the doc...gotta take care of yourself!

I am so sorry. We'll be here.

Our hospice people for my grandmother were pretty good about talking to us about timing...maybe those are the folks to ask.

That is so very sad. I understand why there would still be pain. Sounded like you were excellent friends.

Awesome.

WOW!

I did the garden thing. Maybe it's not for everyone, but I SO look forward to spring now when I get a message full of flowers and green from Mom. I also just post here whhen I have SOMETHING on my mind. It helps. And I never feel bad about it either because often I think someone will read and say..."hey me too, glad to know I am not alone" and I don't think ANYONE here would ever say "stop feeling sorry for yourself" because we know that that is not what grief is. It's been a short time for you...give yourself whatever you need to and come here when you want to share...and we hope it helps.

I'm going to validate what you are feeling while others may not. "Anger" is an emotion that I think divides the room here. I personally have NO problem with you being angry with mom over this habit...angry about the habit itself...and angry about what it HAS done to you. You certainly despise the smell. I always did too. But what you REALLY hate is that this thing (which cames with characteristics you can sense) has come close to taking your mom away AND has caused you true emotional distress and anxiety. Being angry with your loved one is not the opposite of love. Indifference is. So when you say it ticks you off, I get it. It is this AWFUL presence and reminder of possible future heartache and past stress. Do I believe it is a battle worth fighting, however...nope. My mother loved me SO much. And I begged her to stop from when I was a small child. She couldn't do it. It is an evil industry and habit. I understand your emotional response, I understand the anger. I 100% would validate how you feel. The problem IS NOT YOU. However, from experience you will have to accept this thing which you can not change.

What you are experiencing is the anxiety that comes with scans, as they show a lot of detail, and often it is not cancer. Regarding the "if it is so small take it out" thing. LC is different than a skin cancer. Remove a mole and a little bit around it...good to go. lung surgery is usually a lobectomy...which isn't a small procedure. That's why they are watching it. If you are having major stress/anxiety/depression, perhaps meds are warranted...that is if you are not breast feeding (I too have an 11 month old) . It's one thing to be upset...it's another thing to be "major" it's worth seeking help for that.