Debi

Bruce, Just wanted to let you know that I have been following the posts on you and am glad that everything seems to be okay...

Renee, Sending you and your family my sympathy ... I am so sorry for your loss..

After my surgery, both my Surgeon and Pulmonary Specialist told me that I did not need any kind of follow up chemo or radiation, that my cancer had been contained and removed, and that I needed to use my strength toward recovering. I had specifically asked them both if they suggested adjuvent chemo since I had read on here that a new report had come out in May of 2003, that according to a test group, chemo did improve odds. BOTH of them talked to me at length about the study, and although I won't get into it since this isn't what this thread is about, told me that they would be surprised if an Oncologist offered me chemo after seeing my pathology report. They both spent a great deal of time giving me hope, and telling me to get on with my life (while remaining vigiliant of course). I had made an appointment at the (only) local Cancer Center with an Oncologist since my Surgeon and Pulmonary Specialist were 4 hours away and it would've been difficult to do followups with them. The moment he came in the room with my medical record in hand (I had brought my pathology reports, etc), he asked me, in puzzlement, why they had only taken a wedge of my lung. I explained to him that they took 2 lobes, that they had taken a wedge at the start of my operation, to send to see if it was cancerous. This sort of set me back because it showed me that he actually had only skimmed my report, or worse yet, read the first few sentences. Next he told me that he was making an appointment for the following week to have a port installed in my chest. At that point I felt almost like I was in shock, I asked him why. He told me that according to the findings of a recent study, yada yada, I needed to have chemo through January (it was August). I told him what both my other doctors had said and he told me that it was evident that they weren't aware of the new findings. I told him that they WERE, in fact they were affiliated with Cancer Treatment Centers of America and knew all about the study, and he just shrugged. He told me that my cancer was very very aggressive because I was so young and had it, and that it would definitely be back. By this point, I was actually belligerent because he hadn't even made eye contact with me yet, obviously hadn't read my report since he didn't know about my lobes being gone, had undone any confidence that CTCA had tried to give me and was rushing me into something that I hadn't agreed to. This is MY body and right or wrong, the decisions about it are made by ME. I still see this Oncologist basically because he is the only game in town and I would hope that he could at least read a test result. If the cancer DOES come back, I will be the first to go up to OKC or back to Tulsa because I will not allow this man to treat me basically because I am still waiting for eye contact. Oh, and this man who told me that my cancer would definitely come back, told me at 9 months out that he only needs to see me every 6 months rather than 3. I see my GP in between to at least have a chest xray taken. As far as telling family members, I think as some others have said, alot depends on the patient. I do NOT want anyone knowing what is going on with me unless I choose to tell them. The next person may be different. And thank you Dr. Joe for showing me that there ARE good Oncologists out there...

Cheryl, I saw your post the other day but was busy and had to run off somewhere. I apologize that I didn't get around to answering it then. If its not too late to respond, I would love to go to your party on the 23rd, if you still end up deciding to have it. I have always gone by the rule that any more than 2 people gathered together is a party, so it doesn't have to be a big affair. I just wanted to let you know that if you are still game for it, I will be there or if you reschedule, I will be there..or even just for lunch....

I love this thread on the blues..it is so true... And Frank, I will NOT even comment on the begging for silence line....

Norme, I am glad to see that you have been coming on, I was worried about you. I miss you, I miss those old days when you never did run out of words. I miss my sober buddies, Bob and David and all the rest, and I want them all back. I know thats selfish of me, I know their families have so much more of a right to miss them, but I do too. And I wish I had the magic words to ease the pain of the caregivers, but I don't and so, many times, I don't even try. I can't imagine the intensity of your pain Norme, but know that I think of you all the time and if I could wish it all away, I would. You have given so much of yourself to all of us. It just isn't fair..

Tell Bruce I am thinking of him and wishing him well. Man, he will do ANYTHING for attention.... You may want to take the time to rest up since I'm sure he will want to be going to DollyWood when he gets out... Seriously, give him HUGE get well wishes from Okahoma and if I can do anything, let me know!

Kim, I thought I remembered Cary talking about this on here...and it is something that I am planning on doing myself, just because. Thought you might appreciate more info on it.. http://www.lchelp.com/community/viewtop ... highlight=

Cindy, Sorry I didn't see your post until today, I wasn't on the board yesterday at all... Am glad that your Onc agreed to change the meds and know that this will be so much better for you!!! Your miserable days seem to be over.. woo hoo.. Oh, and as far as getting back to sanity, a pill can only do so much Cindy..

Hey, don't forget me!! Come on down and pick me up too, I need to get away... I'll bring the chickens...

Bob was the first one to answer my very first post when I came to the board. Those of us who frequented chat, know what a funny guy he was and I only hope that we made him laugh half as much as he made us laugh. I have no more words left. Like Bruce, I have thought about Bob every day, and will continue to miss him for a long time to come....

Hey guys.. I wasn't going to post about this but I wanted to write my observations just in case people are lurking out there that are Stage 1A... I was "lucky" enough to be Stage 1A, the cancer was contained in the nodule, one of the benefits of early detection. My surgeon, on my post op, told me to get on out of his office and get on with my life, I was "cured"; they had gotten it all. My Pulmonary Specialist told me the same exact words..both doctors are affiliated with Cancer Treatment Centers of America. Therefore, I don't doubt at all that "Major Dad's" (what the heck is this guy's name anyway? ) doctors gave him an "all clear". When I tell people about my illness, I say that I HAD lung cancer. I do not currently have it, although yes, I know WELL that I could have a reoccurence of it (as you all have seen in some of my more neurotic posts), even with the 80% rate of making it to 5 years that I was given as a Stage 1a. I don't feel that I am in remission since the tumour was removed, and it was the only thing that tested positive. I go for scans every 3 months to make sure I stay "cured". After a year of nightmares and trying to find my footing in this new life, I choose to live my life trying to accept that my cancer is gone. I cannot fault anyone else for getting back to their life and doing the same..

Thank you all for your posts ... I am feeling better. I do have some life insurance through work (don't tell my relatives )... but the thing that sucks is that it is one other tie that binds me to this damn place. I have a new boss who we call Mr. Bonaparte (behind his back of course) and although all of us would give him 125%, he sees anyone there with any amount of time as a threat and refuses to trust us or what we say. He was hired from the outside, so of course he has no knowledge of the company, and it is kind of scary that he refuses to use his resources (us). Oh well, THAT is TOO long of a story to post. Suffice it to say I am tied there by many things right now including life insurance, medical insurance, lack of comparable jobs in town, etc. The great news is that I now have mobility and can get out of Dodge on occasion! Anyway, I never should have asked my broker about insurance but I have been mentally feeling good.... I should have just gotten my car insurance and left. However, I have decided that in June of 2006, I will be driving my Ford Explorer (grrr ginny ) through the front lobby of the insurance office. I'm sure I won't do it but it helps me feel better thinking about it. I did the same with the nurse from hell who treated me badly after my surgery..I told my surgeon I was going to meet this nurse in the parking lot on my surgery anniversary and kick her *ss. It helped me sleep at night at the time. But I haven't done that. Yet. Thanks again for all your concern and help.....

What great news! Wishing a speedy recovery to Ray...

You go with your bad self Dianne..don't take any sh** from those people!! Good luck with your new Onc....

Jen summed up everything that anyone could say about the value of a pet... I just wanted to add that there are some smaller dogs that can be trained to go in a litter box. That may be easier than having to walk the dog or to get up early to let it out or worrying if you are going to be gone for the day. I copied a paragraph from a website I saw:

Oh but ain't that America for you and me Ain't that America somethin' to see baby Ain't that America home of the free Little pink houses for you and me Oops sorry Fay.. your stucco story reminded me of John Cougar Mellancamp or whatever the hell he is calling himself these days... I always liked him, especially "Pink Houses" and "The Authority Song". In fact, I am going to scrape together whatever money I have remaining after my car purchase this week and buy a CD of his today because of your post.... I am sorry it took me so long to reply to your poor toe story, I haven't had time this week for anything. I hope your toes are feeling better, but I am kind of with Snowflake on this as to how they were broken..I prefer to believe that you were kicking SOMEONE'S butt... it just makes such a better story than just being a klutz and fits you much better... In my version, you were fighting some type of authority....and I don't want to hear any different!!!

This is something that you can do and email to someone (below is the email that is sent) Excuse my penmanship, I have never quite gotten the hang of writing with a mouse. Anyway, the thought was there! See my imagination at work at: http://www.imaginationatwork.com/Imagin ... d=73636210. You'll see my idea unfold from start to finish.

I haven't been on the board much lately, I've been fairly busy with stuff.. Some loan company actually gave me credit and I have been shopping for a good used car. It has been with trepidation because somewhere, deep inside, this voice has been saying that I am jinxing myself, if I buy a new car I am just being cocky and will alienate the Cancer Gods and the cancer will come back with a vengeance. Of course I have ignored that voice because I KNOW it is my own superstiition and plunged forward. Couple all this with the fact that as soon as I step foot on a car lot, I know I am about to get screwed.. it has been an intense week! I finally bought a car today, I will spare you all my somewhat comedic adventures with the used car salesman from hell. The finance manager at the dealership's mother had lung cancer back in 1991 and is still doing okay, so I took that as a sign that it is going to be okay, that taking on the payments is okay and planning for the future is okay. I left the dealership driving my new car and actualy feeling good about life even though I am going to be poorer.... My mistake was not going to my Insurance Broker, but in asking her whether there was any life insurance or short term disability that I could purchase, in my situation. I told her that my surgery was a year ago this last June and that I was Stage 1A, pronounced "cured", etc, etc. I told her that I didn't think anyone would insure me yet, but she seemed to think differently. If it was removed by surgery, she said, why then I don't see why you wouldn't qualify. Again, I will spare the details, but I had to listen to her make round after round of phone calls. I told her after the first call that it was okay, but she just kept on. Of course I only heard her end of the call, which consisted, after her initial explanation of my condition, of her asking well, why not if it was all removed?. Then there would be silence and she would say, oh, I see.. okay. Finally even she gave up and told me that I would need to come back in June of 2006 but the premiums will be high, that "no one would take me on, because it was in the lung and...". She just left the "and" kind of hang there and didn't finish the sentence. I don't think, since my surgery, and at least in the last 6 months that I have felt as hopeless and discouraged and just plain as sad as I felt then. I gave her back the brochures she had given me when she was just so convinced that I would get some type of coverage and she wished me good luck. Sometime during the last call, she had heard something that changed how she acted; all of a sudden she didn't look me in the eye. I put my sunglasses on to cover my tearing up eyes and smiled, thanked her and left. This isn't fair.. I have been doing so well and now I feel like the entire world has written me off, I feel like there's a stamp across my forehead that says "Damaged". I ALMOST felt for a little while that I was okay, that things WOULD be okay, and now I have gone 5 steps back. Why did I even THINK that I could ask for insurance quotes?? Am I crazy??? I have lung cancer... the whole world sees me as already dead. I know I'll be okay about this, and it will pass..I am just feeling blue right now. I guess I'll just have to show the bast***s that they don't need to write me of just yet....

Mary Ann, Am so glad you joined the board.. it is nice to "meet you". Wishing you the best of luck with Harley... I am sure the boys will love him!!! Hope that you all are doing "okay"......

Curtis...Go figure.. there is actually someone out there with more time on their hands than us!! And Frank..you just plain scare me....

Okay, I did exactly what it says you will do, how wierd: Seated, lift your right foot off the floor and begin making clockwise circles. As you continue making the clockwise circles with your right foot, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand. What happened? For most people their right foot changes direction.

Rich, I wish you luck in your attempts to quit smoking and really don't have anything to add to what others have suggested. I know, for myself, some days I would give my right arm to be able to have a cigarette (I have already given most of my right lung! ). But I am like the people above who have said they only have one quit in them. I smoked up until the night before my surgery and the only thing that helped me quit WAS my surgery. I know, as sure as I am typing this, that if I light up just ONE cigarette, that is going to be it for me and I will most likely not stop. SO the one thing I do know, is to stop before I buy a pack and think it through. And I guess that would be my suggestion to you... just think your cigarettes through. Instead of mindlessly lighting them, think about it and maybe that will help. I wish I could help you more, but my secret of quitting was an epidural drip of morphine, chest tubes, and the inability to walk outside to smoke. They wanted to give me nicotine patches in the hospital but I fought them off, because I knew I had to get the damn nicotine out of my body. Well, I guess I'm really not that good at quitting and don't have much to offer.. but I do understand...

Good one Nina... #9 is my personal favorite, although the latter part is debatable. If nothing else, men were always handy for carrying luggage at airports but now they have invented luggage with wheels...

I'm fairly new to the point system...can you deduct points for terrible jokes???