jean44

Di, What beautiful words and a wonderful tribute to Don and Lucie. There is no higher honor than to be an inspiration to others. I also look forward to Don's posts. In his words you can feel the love and admiration he has for Lucie. Kudos Don and Lucie and May God Bless you always! Jean

Pam, I am so sorry for your loss and the grief you feel. I know the feeling all too well as I just went through the "one year date" of losing my Dad to lung cancer Oct. 14, 2003. The grief is still with me as well and my days are filled with sadness. I am still trying to come to terms with the loss but somedays in can be almost unbearable. It feels like a big void in my heart that I know will never be filled and I know that I have to, in some way learn to deal with it. I am still trying to work it all out. I know that the pain of losing him is as new in my heart as the day we lost him. Praying for some peace for you and your family. Jean

Amy, Keeping your Dad, your family, and you in my prayers. Wishing you good news on Monday. Jean

Cat, Glad to see your post! Keep fighting! Prayers coming your way! Jean

So sorry to hear about your Mom having cancer and also sad to hear that she is still smoking. I agree with Becky that ultimately, it is your Mom's decision and there is really nothing you can do except support her on this difficult journey. I was fortunate that when my Dad was diagnosed (the day he was diagnosed) he stopped smoking. His oncologist told him that the chemo and radiation would work better if he was NOT smoking. But, Dad made the decision on his own to quit. We lost him 11 months after diagnosis. Good luck to your Mom. I will keep her and your family in my prayers. Jean

My Dad also had "the mask". For whatever reason, he brought it home after they completed the radiation. After we lost him, my Mom, my sister and I shed many tears when we disposed of the mask. I have noticed Laura Ann that you are from Louisville. I live in Shelbyville and work in Louisville. Being this close if there is anything I can do to help you, your Mom or family please let me know. I have been on the road you are traveling with my Dad. Jean

Debi, Here's hoping that the goblins leave and never come back. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Jean

Cat, My Dad had lung cancer with mets to the brain and also had to take Decadron. It really didn't affect him too bad. I am hoping the same for you. You are in my prayers. Jean

Cat, Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Jean

I agree-beautifully written and much appreciated from someone who has lost a loved one to lung cancer! Go Heather! Jean

KC. What beautiful thoughts for your Dad. I know how you feel as I lost my Dad one year ago. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Jean

Angie, I lost my Dad to lung cancer (Oct. 14, 2003) and I know the pain of losing a parent. My thoughts and prayers are with your Mom, your family and you at this time. Jean

Thank you so much Bruce & Cathy for your kind words. It means alot that the two (out of 1488) of you took the time to respond to my need for support. I have found that on this board I don't normally get responses to my posts. That is why I don't often offer insight on subjects I have knowledge of. I have found if you haven't made your way in with the people that are regular posters, then responses are few. Anyway, my Mom, sister, and I had a nice day together. There were moments of laughter but, also alot of tears. But, we made it through together as we will continue to do. Once again, thanks for your kind words and for being there when I just needed a little support. I will continue to keep you and yours in my prayers.

One year ago tomorrow (Oct. 14, 2003) I lost my Dad to lung cancer. I miss him everyday and the sadness is overwhelming. Dad was very special to me. My husband always said he thought we were soulmates. We both had the same beliefs and personality. The void that was left when I lost my Dad at times seems so unbearable. I know that "life goes on" but, the loss of my Dad has sure made my life different. It is hard knowing that I will live the rest of my life on Earth without him not even being able to hear his voice. He was such a strong man and fought "the beast" with all he had. He wanted to live so bad. It broke my heart to see him suffer with the chemo and radiation treatments and then to only lose the battle. I don't post often but come here everyday to check on everyone. I smile when NED arrives for you folks and I cry when loved ones are lost. I would like to ask all of you wonderful people on this board to remember my family (especially my Mom) and me in your prayers as we try to get through this first anniversay of the loss of my Dad. I will take off work and travel home (about 125 miles from where I live) tomorrow, go to the cemetery and then meet with my Mom and sister and have lunch together. We are planning to talk about Dad and the happy times we had with him. Thanks for letting me have the opportunity to put my thoughts into words. Jean

Cindi, I am also sorry for your pain and in some ways know what you are dealing with. This Thursday (Oct. 14) will be the one year anniversary date of the loss of my Dad. This has been an extremely difficult week for me. My heart aches for the loss of my Dad and it is the worst thing I have ever experienced. I am still trying to come to terms with the loss. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers during this time. Jean

Don, I also love the picture! I lost my Dad to lung cancer last Oct. and I don't know how I would have gotten through the illness and losing him without faith. Thanks for your inspirational story! Jean

While my Dad did not have any symptoms BEFORE his brains mets were found, shortly after they were discovered he did have trouble remembering what he was going to say and how to say it. He would start to respond to us and then just say "I can't remember what I was going to say". Shortly after that, his eyes bothered him. They would water alot and he would just say they hurt.

Becky, Thanks so much for reposting this. I am coming up on the anniversary of my Dad's death (Oct. 14, 2003) and reading this brings back so many of the feelings I had when we were dealing with Dad and cancer. I can relate to so many things in your post. It brings sad thoughts but also happy ones. Jean

Just my opinion but, when my Dad was ill the very FIRST thing he told his oncologist is that he didn't want to hear a bunch of bull----. He wanted Dr. Hawley to tell him exactly what was going on, if he could help him and if he couldn't what was he looking at (pain, side effects from treatment, and the length of time he would have-either way). While his oncologist NEVER gave Dad a time frame (although the radiologist did and was right on how long he would be with us) he did walk into his hospital room and tell him that he believed they had used everything they could to help him but, nothing had worked. He then proceeded to tell Dad that he thought it was time to call Hospice and end the treatment. (Dad had ask Dr. Hawley to let him know when they had exhausted-in his opinion-anything that could help and Dad would make his decision at that time). My Dad was NEVER one to go to doctors. But, it was his doctor's honesty that made Dad feel comfortable with him and in the end he not only earned Dad's trust but also his respect. While I can understand alot of people on this board look for hope-which there is nothing wrong with-my Dad was not interested in the what ifs or hope. He was only interested in just exactly what the treatment alone could or could not do for him. I believe I would want the same from any doctor-honesty.

Kim, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom's decline. I remember the day the oncologist said the word Hospice to my Dad, it did make it all real knowing this was the "end of the line". I also know what it is like to lose a parent and to try to prepare yourself for life without them. It has been almost a year for me and the loss is still there. We also dealt with the pill issue with Dad. It got to where he would literally cuss when Mom gave him his medication. In the end us kids would give it to him. He have us a little less grief about it than he did Mom. Keeping you, your Mom and family in my prayers. Jean

I lost my Dad to lung cancer last Fall. My Dad had smoked for probably 35 years of his life. Did his smoking CAUSE his cancer-I don't know. When he ask his oncologist if the smoking had caused his cancer, the doctor point blank told him he COULD NOT answer Dad's question because he did not know. I do not know what caused his cancer-he is gone and that is what mattered to me was losing him-the reason didn't matter. I sure did not want my Dad to not only be dying from cancer but, to contend with guilt at the same time. Nothing upsets me more than when people automatically "blame" my Dad because he smoked. I lost my Dad at 67-too young to die no matter what the reason and I know many more who are younger. My Grandpa passed away at the age of 97. He had smoked probably 75 years of his life. He died from old age-not any smoking related illness including cancer. The really sad part is they cannot pinpoint exactly what causes cancer. Hopefully some day they can and we will not longer have to deal with the beast that takes away the most precious gift we have been given-that of our family and friends.

Kim, My Dad (whom we lost Oct. 2003) had lung cancer that eventually led to mets on his brain. We were told once the mets were found that chemo will not work on the brain. My Dad ended up having the stereotactic radiation which did nothing to help the tumors in his brain. We lost him 11 months after diagnosed. You, your Mom and family are in my prayers. Jean

Hi Ben, So sorry to hear about your Mom. We lost my Dad to lung cancer with mets to the brain last Fall after an 11 month battle. My Dad had the stereotactic radiation procedure in Cincinnati for the brain mets (he DID have the halo bolted on his head). By the time the procedure was done he had 16 small tumors with 2 of them bleeding and it was not able to help. After this we were sent home with the advice of the doctor to contact hospice. We had high hopes for the stereotactic radiation. Maybe because the doctor had said this was our last shot. Will keep your Mom, your family, and you in my prayers. God Bless and good luck! Jean

So glad to hear that your husband is doing well. After reading some of the responses I guess it depends on your doctor and maybe even the overall prognosis of the patient. We lost my Dad last Fall to lung cancer with mets to the brain. When they found the tumors in his brain he had 11 pin head size which rapidly increased to 16. From the moment the tumors were found they told Dad he had to stop driving and would probably never be able to drive again. But, by the time Dad was diagnosed and the tumors were found it was too late for them to do alot to help him. Neither radiation or chemo worked. So, in Dad's case maybe the doctor knew that Dad never had a shot at getting better to the point where he would ever be able to drive again. I know their big concern was seizures (but, they did have Dad on anti-seizure medicine). Good luck to you and your husband and I hope he will soon be able to drive soon and regain some of his independence.

Ginny, I, like Alisa do not post much but try to come on everyday to read up on how everyone is doing. I have always made it a point to read your post. The love between you and your husband is absolutely heart warming. I was also a caregiver for my Dad whom we lost in Oct. 2004 to lung cancer. I know the pain of losing someone to this dreaded disease. My heart aches for you on your loss. How lucky you and your husband were to have each other. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless, Jean