SBeth

Dear Pat & Brian, Our prayers are for you both. Our thoughts are with you both. Love,

I do, I do Addie! That is a GREAT picture.

Bill and I will have what Larry's having....make ours with Bacardi Silver please!

Good for you Christy. You have such a warm and beautiful smile, those little ones are just going to love you and you will be wonderful!

Andrea, I'll be keeping you and your Mom in my prayers. That is a spectacular picture of you and your Mom. I can feel the love and adoration you BOTH have for EACH OTHER. That is a special relationship.

Christy, Add mine to the many others already keeping you and your mother in prayer! Love,

What wonderful news to read Jim. I will be praying for you!

Dear Stephi, If ever you needed to find the right place, it is now...and you HAVE FOUND THE RIGHT PLACE. The dedicated, loving and wonderful people here at LCSC will get you thru this awful time in your life. Have faith and believe that you are strong enough. When you don't feel strong enough, let us be strong for you. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

I've been getting a few PMs about Bill and how we are doing since Tracy's wedding; so I thought I'd post an update. Let me just apologize upfront for two things... 1. this will likely be a book as I really just am looking to vent, and 2. this may be hard for some people to read, so if you are having a good day, or don't feel like you want to be slapped in the face with my reality these days...please stop here...and again...I'm sorry! We've been to the ER several times since the wedding due to a severe and swift onset of shortness of breath. I cannot tell you all, nor do I probably have to, how frightening that can be. I feel so helpless and he gets so very nervous when it happens. We go to the ER, his oxygen levels are okay but they give him oxygen anyway. It's always the same thing....they access his port, they draw blood, bloodwork comes back positive for a potential blood clot (false positive because of previous chemo) and they order a CT scan. We are there for six hours or so...he misses his scheduled pain medication...we wait and wait and wait for the ER nurses to finally give him something because I'm not allowed to give him his meds while he is there...the scans come back showing no blood clot and we go home. Rerun...do again in a few days. I'm exhausted...so is he. We came home in the middle of the night Friday and I asked him if he wanted one of his sleeping pills to help him sleep; he (joking) said "How about giving me the whole bottle?". I didn't know what to say to him. He wasn't serious...was he? He's tired of not being able to breath, he's tired of the constant hot/cold sweats/flashes, he's tired of being sick to his stomach, he's tired of being constipated, he's tired of having diarrhea, he's tired of pain. He's just tired of everything. He's never been this person before. He's always been a very easygoing, never get his feathers ruffled, upbeat and happy person. Lung cancer has taken that from us. We had his oncology appointment yesterday and the results from the CT scans from the ER where there and we knew since Friday night that we were going to be getting some results we did not want. Tracy (Bill's daughter) asked if she could come with us for the appointment. It was hard for her. The doctor again told Bill that it's time to bring in Hospice. The scans show that while the bone mets in the rib-cage remain stable...we have a new nodule on the lung and a possible new cervical spine met in addition to the adrenal met. The Alimta did not help and it wasn't tolerated well...so there is nothing left to be offered. We have not called Hospice, although I did get a Rx for oxygen and we now have it in the house for him and it seems to give him a sense of security and so he seems to rest better. We have told the boys. Our 15 year old knew, our 11 year old had a very hard time. They have known all along that he has lung cancer and in all the months of taking care of Bill and working and trying to maintain some normalcy in our home...we failed to recognize that our youngest thought he was "cured". What a failure I feel like...how could I not know what he was thinking? Woe is me, poor me, no time to feel sorry for myself or beat myself up...my husband is dying. So...for the past week I get Bill his meds at night and try to time it so that I get in one last "I love you" before he goes under the spell and then I lie awake all night long and listen to the inhale...wait a few moments...listen for the exhale. Some nights I could swear 10 to 15 minutes have gone by without the exhale...some nights I could swear I can feel his hand grow cold under mine. I feel my heart start to pound, my throat gets dry (like it is right now) and I start to shake...is it over? No...exhale...rerun....do it again. We have no idea how long this can go on. I asked him yesterday if there is ANYTHING at all he wants to do, anywhere he wants to go, anything he wants to eat, say, write, see...anything? I'm desperate to accomodate his any wish. He tells me there is nothing, he's done it all and we've said it all. The only thing left is he wants to go over (again) what the safe combination is, when the house payment is due, where the water shut-off is, when the oil gets changed in the cars...just all the stuff he worries about me knowing...we'll do that...again. I'm trying to be strong. He says he cannot leave me until he knows I will be okay...then, he cannot leave me...right? I'll be strong for him. He tells me he wants me to be happy again. I tell him I will be happy again...never as happy...but I will find a new happy. I get so much hope from so many of you here. I know that I will put one foot in front of the other, take care of the boys and be here for Bill's daughters and I will get thru it. It will be hard and some days I will not think I can do it...but I will...right? Right now I'm just spending as much time as I can with him. We don't have much to say to each other...nothing new anyway...just alot of hugs, kisses and looking at each other. Thank you all so much for all the prayers. We feel them. Love,

Tina, I'm very happy for you and Charlie. This is wonderful news for ALL of us! Love,

Jamie, It amazes me that with so much...all of this going on in your life; you remain so positive and strong in your faith. I will happily keep you in my prayers, but want you to know how much your attitude and convictions to your belief inspire me...especially today when I needed it most. Thank you!

Joyce, Thank you for your caring and loving update. It is never easy to share news that can be painful. I will be saying a prayer that you, Steve and your children find some peace during this difficult time in your lives.

Good for you Don; I'm so envious. I wish I were on a very long weekend too!

I came for some answsers about my husband's diagnosis and treatment plan. I stayed because of the members. I recall reading a post offering support and hope from Ginny to another member and then reading down thru Ginny's bio and realizing that Earl had just passed away. Here is someone that has just lost her spouse and yet she has the compassion and heart and TIME to share some words of wisdom and comfort with another member. That's why I have stayed...the people. Being here for each other is what LCSC is all about...for me!

This is FABULOUS news !!!!!

Dear Don and Lucie, Thank you so much for allowing us to be a part of your celebration. I, personally, am honored! Love and prayers for many more of these happy days.

Jamie, So sweet. From one Mom to another...I know that you will enjoy that day as much, if not more, than he will. Happy Birthday to your son!

Sharon, I've sent several over the past six months or so and have never received a response. I'd love to hear that she is okay.

Prayers for you, prayers for you!

Sharon, You'll certainly be one of the most beautiful grandmas I have ever seen and will probably have many folks mistaking you for "mom". I'm so glad to hear how much joy the upcoming birth is bringing you and your family and I'm sure your Dad is with you all the way. Not that I think you'll forget, but remember to post some pictures because you know how much we love to see babies around here! Love and prayers,

Hi BC, My husband has his first, and only, round of Alimta on August 23rd. He began experience severe shortness of breath about 10 days later and it has been a constant problem since. His blood oxygen levels are also above 92% and the oncologist has no explanation other than to tell us it "could" be the progression of the disease. Sorry I don't have any more information for you, but I do hope that your SOB eases up as I know it can be very scary. Prayers,

Bunny, I'm happy that the plan is in place and as soon as the pharmacy kicks into high gear your Mom will be on the road to success with Tarceva. My prayers for good results are being said! Love,

I'm so sorry; I know what a let down that can be, but keep the faith that there is another treatment that is perfect for you! Keep up the good spirits!

Yes, Pat...we know you are over-whelmed with everything going on between Brian and Ruby, please let us know how things went and how you are doing. We're worried about you! Saying prayers, and then some1

Hi Kim and Welcome. It sounds like you are getting the hang of things around here and we're glad to see you found your way back to your post. Glad you are doing better and getting your blood pressure under control, that's important. I was curious as to whether you have been diagnosed with small cell or non-small cell? I ask because my husband has NSCLC with a recently discovered met to his adrenal gland and there has been no offered treatment. Although the only symptom we have noticed, aside from spiking blood pressure, is hot/cold flashes and sweats that have escalated considerable in the past few weeks. We think this may be from the adrenal met, but are not sure. The adrenal controls such things as hormones, so your increased emotions may be the involvement of your adrenal along with everything else you are dealing with. My best to you and we look forward to hearing more from you.