Pattie Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Hi Everyone! My name is Pattie and I have been a caregiver to my Mom for the last four years. It started out with a serious leg infection, blood clots, (that's how we found the lung cancer) and Alzheimer's. Now on this coming Monday she is going in for something called a tibralplasty. She has a fracture in her back caused from a tumor and she can't have radiation for it because it could cause paralysis. As much as I don't like the cancer, I don't know which is worse. The cancer or the Alzheimer's. Both are very difficult to deal with. I try so hard not to lose my patience because I know the way she reacts is because of the diseases. But, there are days that I just want to curl up and nail the covers over my head so I don't have to face another day. I know that I sound selfish sometimes because I have put my life on hold and feel lonely and left out, but at the same time, I can't do anything else. Mom needs me and I will be here. She raised me for 46 years and now it's my time to take care of her. I find it hard to relax and the nightmares are unending. I just want to see her comfortable and happy. She doesn't deserve what she is going through. She is a kind and generous persoan and has been all of her life. Her heart is always in the right place. But, it's breaking mine to see her in the health that she is right now. There are days I just don't think I can make it through, but somehow I always do. Thank you for letting me speak and get some of this off my chest. Most people I know don't understand what I feel or what I'm going through. My prayers are with all of you and hoping for the best for each and everyone. May God Bless all of you and your families. [/i] Quote
Don M Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Hi Pattie, welcome. You and your mom have my prayers. Don M Quote
EMiller529 Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Wow Patty, you and I are in the same boat. I've been lurking for awhile and your post made me respond. My Mom also has Alzheimer's and Lung Cancer and it's really difficult to make decisions on how much to fight the lung cancer. Radiation was very successful and gave us a nice summer. We started Gemzar which she tolerates well except for the fatigue. I know we're fighting two horrid beasts but I've come to the conclusion that continuing to fight the cancer is most important.Although, others disagree with me, because they wonder about Mom's quality of life. I believe ones quality of life is ever changing. She laughs, is still witty and very loving. The AD doesn't hurt her, she is now at a stage where she is unaware she has it. Lung cancer will begin to hurt her. I want to keep her pain free as long as I can. I'm blessed my Mom is still an easy going person, but it's still a lot of work and I empathise with what you're going thru Quote
Donna G Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Welcome Patty. Your Mom raised a fine daughter. I just want to mention with this care that you have taken on You need support also. Is there family, friends, church commmunity that can help you? It's a big job. Keep us posted. Donna G Quote
ginnyde Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Wow to both Patti and EMiller. Both of these diseases are so tough and to be a caregiver to someone that has both is heartbreaking. Let us help you where we can. We are a place for support, caring and information, and also a great place to vent. Trust me, we understand. Quote
Pattie Posted January 7, 2006 Author Posted January 7, 2006 I just want to thank all of you for your responses. It made my day to start it off with so much support. Usually, it's a quiet cup of coffee and off to the races. I will let you know how we make out Monday with the procedure and what the results of the biopsy are. Thank you again. If anyone ever needs me, just shoot me an e-mail at Tricagiggles314@aol.com. Sending lots of love and prayers to everyone. Pattie Quote
kimmek Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Pattie First Welcome and you have come to the right place. You can vent here anytime you need. I you go back and look at some of my older posts you can tell I have many times, and for the same reasons you have stated. You ARE NOT alone, i understand. I'm there too living the same life.It is not fun at times and I hate it but yet I know I have to go on, go on with a smile. I have not found any one thing that makes it better other than coming here and finding love and understanding. No one judges you because you feel like crawling in a hole today. As hard as it is to do I have found I must take some time for myself every once in awhile,even if its just an afternoon. It will get better, but youhave found us now and that is a step in the right direction!! Welcome Kim Quote
jang Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Welcome Pattie and EMiller! I am glad you both found us. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through, but I'm sure your feelings are very normal. Hang in there and let us know how's she's doing. Quote
Leslie221 Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 ((Pattie and EMiller)) I admire your strength and your love. This must be the toughest test of your lives and I hope you will lean on us whenever you need extra support. Sending caring thoughts and strength to you both, Leslie Quote
joanie55 Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 Hi Patti & EMiller, My heart goes out to you both. I've been a caregiver for my father when he had Alzeimers and now with myself having cancer. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be. Your parents are very lucky to have children that care as you do and hopefully we can support you through this journey. There is lots that is being done for the cancer today and hopefully they will have a breakthrough soon for Alzeimers. Just wishing you the best. Joan Quote
shineladysue Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 Welcome Patti and Emiller, My heart goes out to both of you. I would just like to say that your moms are so very blessed to have you . I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to be caregiver of someone with both of these debilitating diseases. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Sue Quote
bethluvswill13 Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 Pattie-Im sending you lots of warm hugs. Im adding ya'll to my prayer list. Quote
Fay A. Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 I have an idea of what this is like. My Grandmother had Pancreatic Cancer and Alzheimer's. Absolutely heartbreaking. I'm hoping that any of you dealing with this situation are in touch with Alzheimer's support groups for whatever assistance they can provide to you and your loved ones. Quote
Pattie Posted January 8, 2006 Author Posted January 8, 2006 Thank you all for your support. Fay, thanks. I never really gave it a thought to go to an Alzheimer's support also. By the way, I'm over my huge pity party of last night. Had to get back on track because of Mom's tibralplasty tomorrow. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Give me a shout if any of you need anything. Pattie Quote
Pattie Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 Hi everyone! Mom had her tibralplasty today. Good news and bad news. (No surprise) One of the fractures has been there for a while and compressed itself, which became hard bone. The other fracture was still soft bone. The tibralplasty only has good results on soft bone. So, by the time she got home she was still in pain. She doesn't know the whole story. She can't process it with the Alzheimers's. We won't get results (????? why so long) on the tumor for a week. The doctor doesn't seem to think it will be malignant, but I have my doubts. Again, we are with the waiting game. I don't know how much longer she can take the pain. Between the osty and the steriods it makes the bones weak. So prone to this happenening again. I got her home and settled and in for a long night. I just keep my fingers crossed and pray for the best. The pain pills help, but, I don't like the idea of her being on them. Not sure which is worse, the pain or the pain killers. Lots of doubts right now about everything. I'm supposed to go back to work, but not sure I can function very well knowing what's going on with Mom. Let you know what I hear when I get the biopsy report. Thanks for listening. Pattie Quote
lilyjohn Posted January 28, 2006 Posted January 28, 2006 Dear Pattie and EMiller I have cared for two people I love with lung cancer and am now a caregiver for people with dementia and Alzhiemer's. Some of the hardest days a person can face are a part of both of those terrible diseases. I have often said they are the two diseases that take a person's life long before they end it. I just have to tell you how much respect I have for both of you. Please know that you will be in my prayers tonight. As for that bit about "quality of life" no one knows what a person's quality is but them. I believe that every person is here to touch lives. Every minute you live is for a reason. Case in point just by having their stories posted here they have touched many of us. Cherish each moment and provide all of the love and care that you can and leave the rest in God's hands. Quote
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