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From Fay A.

Fay A.

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Hello all. My name is Mike and I'm Fay's younger son. She wrote out a message for you all but she does not have computer access.

She writes:

"To all my friends at LCSC,

I said Hospice would have no part in my life or my death. And had others been as concerned about my final days as I was it would not have come to this.

But the General Contractor left my home in so incomplete and disordered a state that I could not come home to spend my final days.

He robbed me of the months of October, November, December to put my completed home into order & to make final memories for the birthday months - Halloween - Autumn - Thanksgiving - Christmas - New Years.....

This may not seem like much to anyone else. But to me and my husband and children it was a lifetime of love and memories to hold us through the darker days to come. I want to see my dog.

Because the work is incomplete and the electrical was shoddy and after all not permitted, it was not safe for the high dose oxygen system to be used in my house.

so it is not just my comfort that must be considered. I have to think of the safety and care of others. It is just the way it is.

For those of you with the disease:

If you are in a two story house...MOVE to a single story if it is your intent to live out your life at home. When untreatable Pleural mets or effusions come in to bear on you, you will not be able to negotiate stairs at all. And High dose oxygen tanks stand about 4 feet High, 1.5 ft. diameter and there are 7 of them in my room to last for 3 or 4 days.

Be good to one another,

With Love,

Fay Aguilar"

I'll be checking mom's account from time to time passing messages along as I go.


Mike Aguilar

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To dear Fay

I am so saddened to read this post....For your sake, I wish you were at home with your family (including the four-legged members!) where you belong.

But, as Sharon has said, memories can be made anywhere. It is the love that we remember, not the room that it happened in.....

Thank you for always giving of yourself so freely - your wisdom and generosity of spirit have helped me innumerable times.

I wish for you peaceful and loving days ahead....

Please know that I am sending much love your way.


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Dear, dear Fay. Was very sorry to hear of this set-back. As the others said, memories can be made anywhere. I am so sorry you had to go through all of that crap with your house. You should have been able to concentrate on healing, not incompetent contractors.

We are due for another lunch - just wanted to remind you. Take care of yourself and be good to yourself. You have been such a wonderful support to me and for that I thank you. Love, hugs and many prayers coming your way.

Nancy B

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I know this must be very difficult for you to pass along your mom's message. Know that so many of us here love your mom and are praying for her , as well as you and the rest of her family. I'm so sorry that your mom is not where she would like to be at this time. It is so like her to want to continue to share her experiences in an effort to help others. Tell her she's in my prayers. God be with her and your family.

Love and Prayers,


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(((((((((FAY))))))))))), I love you. I wish you could be at home where you want to be. If there was anything I could do to change that, I would. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers always. I wish you peaceful, comfortable days ahead wherever you may be. Keep making memories and hopefully, somehow, your dog will be allowed to come to you. Thank you for all of your wisdom, love and support always and we are all here for you!

Much love,


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Dear Mike,

Thank you so much for posting for your mom. I have a note for her below, but this one is for you.

I pray that God gives you and the rest of your family strength in the days ahead. Like others here, I have been through what you are going through several times, and I know how painful it is.

Please try to have as much fun with your mom right now as you can. Think of fun things to do or say. We did that with my mom and dad and we have the most pleasant and fun memories of their last days. Your mom has a lot of justified anger about her home, so it would be wonderful if you could get her to put that behind her and get her to laugh and enjoy this time with her family.

All my love,


Dear Fay,

What can I say? I'm just feeling sad from head to toe. We've had some very interesting conversations the past couple of years - sometimes we agreed and sometimes we didn't, but my love and concern for you are right in there with everyone else.

You are a rock, have been a rock, and will CONTINUE to be a rock, whether on this earth or in heaven. God blessed you with brains, charm, wit and compassion, but mostly I think He blessed you with profound determination and persistence. Like others have said, I've never known someone to work so hard at surviving as you have. Your determination to live, thrive and enjoy yourself, in spite of your circumstances, is indescribable to others unless they have known you like we know you here.

I pray with all my heart that you will receive a miracle, and if God says no to that request, then I pray that your final days will be peaceful and filled with laughs and love from your family and friends.

May God bless you over and over and over again!



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Just wanted to add, even though this won't help in Fay's case, that stair lifts are a great option. My mom had one for the last 7 months of her life. The company gave us a choice of rental or purchase. If you started with rental and decided to move to a purchase, up to 3 months' rental fees would be deducted from the purchase.

The lift was professionally installed, total simplicity to operate, and quickly removed after Mom passed.

Personally, I think the @#$%! general contractor should swap houses with Fay.

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Mike and Fay,

I don't post often, but Fay has had a special place in my heart since I first found this group. Throughout my Dad's illness and death, I was inspired by Fay's grace, dignity, determination and nonjudgmental compassion. I recently had major surgery, and I thought of Fay and others like her who have endured so much with such wonderful attitudes. It made me way to be a stronger and better person.

Mike, you are fortunate to have a mother with such outstanding qualities. I have a feeling her voice will be whispering wisdom in your ear for the rest of your life.

Fay, things aren't going the way you envisioned, but I know you will find a way to do this in your own unique, gifted way.

My love and prayers are with you all.


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I am outraged!!! Foot stompin mad about this! What final days is she talking about? Why doesn't she have computer access? Is our Fay in hospital? What is this talk about hospice?

I don't understand. we were just "chatting" snd PMing together last week.

What is wrong here?

Dang, California is too far away!

I am personally hexing that contractor! Evil evil scumbag.

Thanks Mike for posting this I know it has to be hard to tell your moms friends bad news. I guess, I am not taking this very well. This sucks bad.

Eppie out

gonna pout

and take God to task

for F%$#ing this up

man, am I pissed off

Grrrrrrrrr! THis is not fair at alllllll!

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I am so sorry for all you are going through. It is heartbreaking enough for what you mom is experienceing and not to be able to be at home is devestating.

But that is water over the dam and you have to make the best of what is now. Like Peggy said just be there and make those memories with you mom.

Fay is very special here. She was always a pillar of strength and knowledge. She was going through her own he*l and she always took the time to help people here and always gave her support. She did this up until the time she went to the hospital. Which was a surprise to everyone that that happened so fast.

She is an amazing brave lady.

Praying for a miracle.


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I am sure that you have known for years what an amazing woman your mom is. I hope you see how much she means to all of us as well. She has been a friend, a confidant, a sounding board, and an advisor for so many of us. We love her. I hope she knows that, too.

You and your family are in my prayers.


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I saw this post a couple of days ago but haven't been able to post. This is just too hard because my heart breaks to hear this sad news about your mom.

I am so sorry she isn't able to be home where she wants to be, but hopefully she will still feel the love surrounding her from where she is at.

Please just tell your mom from me, that I truly love her. She has meant so much to me here. She has always supported me with kindness and wisdom. She opened her heart fully to us and I can never thank her enough. She has touched my life, and I can only hope to live with an ounce of the grace, dignity and humor she has shown. Fay, you are an amazing woman and I am thankful to God for bringing you into my life.

I pray that God bring you peace. I pray that God wrap you in his loving arms and eases all your fears and all your ailments.

My heart is with you.

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