SHANNA Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 So today my mom was told that there was little that could be done regarding treatment after the new tests showed the LC (stage IV) has spread to her spine and the tumors have grown since the last scan (and it was only a few weeks ago).This horrible disease is spreading rapidly & I know that I was just holding out a false hope and I am trying not to build myself up only to fall down again. It seems like each day it is something new. How do we do this? I don't know how to face the reality that I am going to lose my mom. I put up a calm and brave front for my family and hold things together for them but this stinks and is so unfair that any person would have to live through it in pain. There are so many more of you out there that have gone through so much more than my family but this is so hard. They are starting radiation to help with the pain hopefully but that just seems to me that it would make her even worse and decline even faster I don't want my mom to suffer and I want to take this away from her but I can't. I feel so inept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Prayers for mom and you Shanna. Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 The radiation to her spine should give her some releaf from the pain. Prayers for your Mom and for you Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnie Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Shanna, you are feeling the same as my daughter does regarding this disease. Every chance I get I make memories with the ones I love, doesn't matter whether it's just a laugh or a party, just make happy memories. What your mom needs most right now is knowing that you are there for her to lean on no matter what. ginnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnie Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Shanna, you are feeling the same as my daughter does regarding this disease. Every chance I get I make memories with the ones I love, doesn't matter whether it's just a laugh or a party, just make happy memories. What your mom needs most right now is knowing that you are there for her to lean on no matter what. ginnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Shanna, I do think that this is a tough point in this aong strange journey. You are at a crossroads in life right now. I know how much this hurts from personal experience. It will not be easy to deal with. Here are my suggestions; 1) remember yesterday 2) cherish today 3) Pray for tomorrow to be a good day to remember. 4) Everything happens for a reason! you are doing everything possible and I know you will go through some ups and downs dealing with this. We are always here no matter what Good Or Bad and we will always listen and pray. This may sound weird, but when I say a prayer I go outside at night and talk to God. NO CUUSING ALLOWED!! Yelling screaming crying and anger are. Under the stars at night I think he hears better with no roof over me to block my voice. Sounds crazy but it works. Always feel better when I bring Daisydawg in after that last Trip out at night. Much peace to you and will say prayers. I hope you find something comforting here to help you out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Hi Shanna, I am so sorry for all the pain and uncertainty you are going through. I know how hard it is to watch a parent decline. It just tears you in two. The radiation should help her pain, and it is important to get her pain under control. Take one day at a time and just be with her as much as you can. You are a very loving caring daughter and that is what your mom needs. Stay close and make some lasting memories. My heart goes out to you... I know how you feel. You know we are always here for you, as you are never alone here. So many of us have walked in your shoes. It is a heavy burden to carry. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 It is a tough tough journey for us daughters, but moreso for our moms. Hang tough, come here and vent away. I do it all the time and everyone still loves me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melindasue37 Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Hi Shanna, I know how difficult it is to see your Mother's health deteriorating and know there is absolutely nothing you can do for her. All you can do at this point is to take each day as a gift...and try not to think to far ahead. Let your Mom know how much you love her and that you are there for her. Hopefully the radiation will bring her comfort for the days ahead. Please keep us posted on how both of you are doing. We are here for you when you need us. Warm Hugs, Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelepal Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Shanna, I could totally relate to how your feeling and yes it STINKS,it's a feeling you wouldn't wish on your worse enemy. My only advise to you would be to spend alot of time with her and tell her every chance you get how much you Love her.. One thing I know for sure is that when my Dad passed away he new how much I Loved him and I thought he was the best Father ever.. Take care! Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adela Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Shanna, you will be able to do this. You will be able to hold your Mother tell her you love her. You will be able to cry with your Mother.......and when the time comes you will be able to say Good Bye. The radiation could help her with pain. What about Hospice.....the nurses are good and they know what is needed to help with pain. Take care of yourself and you are doing everything possible for your mother. My prayers for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyanne Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Oh Shanna, I could have written your post..in fact I think I did write it a few months back. I sent you a PM and am here for you anytime. It is a terrible road, yet there are moments that I am so thankful for -- and I will NEVER regret being with my mom through everything. Getting her pain under control is the top priority. My mom had terrible bone mets, in fact her lung tumor never grew bigger than the size of dime -- so we dealt with a lot of pain, yet managed to get it under control by experimenting with many different things. Radiation will help....please PM or call me as I may be able to at least help you somewhat. All the prayers in the world for you, Holy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 So sorry, Shanna, for you, your Mom and your family. Wish that there was more that I could do for you other than praying and wishing the best as possible for all. Try to take care, I know it's hard, but know that we are all here for you. And yes, it STINKS, it's not fair and no one should ever have to be in pain. Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Shanna, Just wanted to offer my support as well. I haven't yet faced where you are, but I certainly know the feeling of being 'inept', as you called it. Cancer stinks. There is no other way to say it, without dissolving into obscenities (which I am not above, but not here...). Remember to take care of yourself while you are taking care of your mom. Keep us posted. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Shanna, I'm so sorry your mother, you and your family have to go through this. You don't have a profile of your mother's case on your posts, so I am not sure what the onc has tried with her. If we could see what treatment she had had, we might be able to make suggestions. As others have said, make good memories. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Shanna: there is no doubt that there are tough days ahead for your mom and you. But don't try to anticipate too much at once. Right now, just focus on getting your mom's pain under control. The radiation should help a lot. They may still be able to get the cancer under conrol with teatment. The radiation will definitely be a good first step. Find moments in the present where you can be with your mom and just enjoy one another. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mskim Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 I am so sorry SHanna. I walk along with you as we travel the same path. Hugs and prayers, Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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