cindy0519 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Well I am in Az now (flew out Wednesday) -- they had to do another "emergency" surgery on Dad yesterday. The incision has become infected and has resulted in a staff infection which is causing some of the tissue to die. The plan was to "clean" up everything, ensure that the infection was contained and has not affected the bowel, place a drain to keep up the ascites (which has increased dramatically), and potentially place a feeding tube temporarily to allow Dad to regain some strength and weight. He has now lost almost 30 lbs in about 3 weeks, is very malnourished and looking very fragile. Despite our plans, it appears that God has other plans.. thing did not go well, the surgeon says that the cancer in his abdomen has spread tremendously since 2 weeks ago. So much so that most of his internal organs are now fusing together. Due to this he was unable to place the feeding tube and only able to place a drain into the actual incision, after it was cleaned up, and not above it as orginally planned. He said that trying to do anything else would have been like trying to pull a noodle out of a bucket of concrete. He says that at this point there is really nothing more that the doctors can do without creating futher unwanted issues/complications and referred Dad to hospice. He strongly suggested that now is the time to say "enough". After some serious proding he VERY relucantly gave us a 1 "maybe" 2 month prognosis. We are meeting with the hospice coordinator tommorow to discuss and plan. He has fought so very hard and done so well that this is almost suprizing! On the other hand he is now so very tired, plain worn out and overcome with pain. It's so hard to watch the man I have only seen cry twice in my life, lie in a hospital bed and cry because of the pain that in some ways it brings me a much needed sense of peace to know that he will be getting Hospice care. Trying to figure out the go home/stay here issues, but right now we are all taking things day by day -- even minute by minute. Time, Dad and God will tell us all the "right" things to do, of this I am certain. On top of all of this going on DH called earlier today and said that one of good friends mothers passed away this morning. So at the age of 38 he no longer has any parents living, having lost them both to cancer within less than 2 years of each other. Poor DH -- I just broke down and sobbed on the phone. He felt SO bad for telling me. I am sad for our friend and his family but even more than that... the news has such an impact on me in such a deeply personal and unexpected way that way that I just crumbled. I think it is partly because we are now looking at the reality of the end coming sooner than expected for Dad. Cancer does SUCK.. and in the last couple days these words seem to have taken on a new and deeper meaning somehow. God bless all those that battle cancer and thier families that love so deeply and hurt so bad!! May we all find peace!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missyk Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Cindy... May you find peace in your journey. This disease DOES suck! It's taken from all of us (both patient and family) that safe place that we always thought would be there. I'm so sorry that you and your DH have lost a close person. Now is just a time of emotional rawness and I'm sure he understands (and in a way appreciates) the tears that were shed becaue of it all. You and your family are in my prayers...sometimes I just wish there were so much more I could do. Hugs and many prayers for you and yours right now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Sending Prayers for you anfd your Family I know this is hard. I hope this helps you some. Might make you a little sad so be careful; http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/journey2heaven.php Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tatlyn Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 ((((Cindy)))) Lynda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Cindy.....Cindy, I feel so helpless as to what to say to help you at this time. Just know that I am there with you in spirit........offering my strength and hope to you. I'm hoping that your Dad can find comfort very soon and that your family finds the help it so desperately needs right now with Hospice. I'm thinking of you, Cindy, and I am so sorry. Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Cindy I'm so sorry to hear of the unexpedly sudden turn of events with your Dad . I know how hard it is and wish I had the words to make this journey easier, I, all to well, know the problems that distance puts in the way of this too. Hopefully, hospice will get the pain under control quickly. Sending prayers to you and your family. gail p-m Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish2418 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 My prayers are with you and your family. I hope your father's pain can be alleviated soon. Trish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdjenkins Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Cindy, I understand what you are going through. It is a very hard and sad journey, but you are strong and will make it through. God Bless, Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Cindy, I am so sorry to read this. My prayers for you all. Libby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Oh Cindy... How devestating. I'm very, very sorry. Something in me wants to say, given what you told us about the doctor's expected prognosis--don't assume that you will have that time. Get everything said, do all those special things NOW. My Mom's journey with "The H word (hospice) was so much shorter than any of us expected." At the same time your Dad may blow the docs out of the water and be around for quite a while. The prognosis is STILL a guess at this point. ((((hugs)))) to you. We are here to support you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Cindy, so sad. My prayers are with you all. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Yes Cindy...may we all find peace. The number one priority is making your dad comfortable now. You all have my prayers. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MalouDP Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Prayers from us Love, Thomas & Malou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Cindy, So very sorry to hear about this. Dad's unforgiving pain. We were talking about belly pain in a different thread and "we" remembered a non-narcotic that helps many. Toradol. I hope that you ask about it for your Dad. I hope for comfort for your Dad. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adela Posted May 14, 2006 Share Posted May 14, 2006 So sorry may you find peace in your journey. Adela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlegirl Posted May 14, 2006 Share Posted May 14, 2006 Praying that hospice can quickly ease your dad's suffering. Hang in there! Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted May 14, 2006 Share Posted May 14, 2006 Cindy, I am so sorry about your dad, I can understand exactly how you feel, I went through a similar situation with my dad last summer, his bladder cancer had spread all over, and after a month in the hospital they did all they could do and all of my family, including my dad agreed that it was time for hospice. His dr. thought he would only last the weekend, but my dad was tough and stayed with us 7 weeks, I never knew my dad was such a strong person, but I knew at least he was not in pain.....I pray that you and your family will have the strength... Bless you... Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyanne Posted May 14, 2006 Share Posted May 14, 2006 Cindy - I am so sorry - yet you have such a great attitude. You are right, the future is in God and your dad's hands -- Val took the words out of month. You don't know if you have a day or a month, do whatever you can to be with him. Hospice will get his pain under control and hopefully he will be comfortable -- he deserves it as does your family. Prayers for peace of mind and strength for you. Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elnodel Posted May 14, 2006 Share Posted May 14, 2006 Dear Cindy, Wishing you and your family, and especially your dad, peace and comfort at this time. I hope that hospice can bring his pain under control and that he will have some peace and contentment in however much time he has left. And strength to you, Cindy, as you help him in these final days. Ellen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kreed70 Posted May 14, 2006 Share Posted May 14, 2006 Cindy, Thank God that your dad will be getting relief from the pain. I'll be praying for you and your family. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marym Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Cindy, I'm sorry to hear how things are. My prayers are with you and your family. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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