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My mother in law finished her radiation to her lung and her brain. She has been so weak and in pain. She started having lower back pain and couldn't stand last week. Basically slept all of the time, incoherent, dehydrated etc... They were thinking it was due to the radiation, but it was a few weeks since it finished. She had an MRI that showed the cancer spread to her lower spine. She is so weak she is now basically bedridden and sleeps all of the time. Her options were radiation or hospice. She is tired and is suffering, and said she didn't want to live the rest of her life like this, so it sounded like she was going to not have any more treatment. My sister in law is taking this very hard and today, she said she is going to start the radiation tomorrow. I hate knowing she is suffering and I don't know how to tell my sister in law that she is not going to get better. I know everyone says to hang on to hope, but I know that she is only going to get much worse. I don't know how she is going to be able to do radiation so sick like this. It is so sad.

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My mil went to the doctor today, and no radiation. They just had a talk I guess. I will have to find out what the plan is, but I bet it is not good. It is my husband's birthday today and she never missed calling, except for today as she is too weak and tired. With the way it is spreading so fast, how much time do you think she really has? It is in the brain, the lungs and the spine. She isn't eating and has to be woken to drink. Her blood pressure is very low. She was taken to the ER last week as her heart was racing like she ran a marathon. (I forgot to mention that before) She was in intensive care for a week and kept having these episodes. They actually stopped her heart 3 times to try to get it to pump normally. Now she is on some heart medication to keep it from racing. Right after this is when the pain in her legs and back started. She can't even walk without pain. My fil has to carry her. :cry:

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I am sorry your MIL is experiencing so much pain. Do you have any further update? My husband sounds like he is in about the same boat. He does not eat, barely drinks, is bed ridden and yet STILL wants to take this trip to California. I will have to carry him but I will if that is what is takes.

My husband is supposed to have chemo today. I will be surprised if they are able to do it. It is hard to believe that any doctor would do treatment when the person is in poor shape and unable to care for themselves to such a degree. What makes me angry is that the medical industry AND society expects cancer patients to fight, fight, fight even when they are suffering horribly whether there is a cure or not. I know none of us want the inevitable but is dying worse than being so sick and bedridden and not even in a state of consciousness? What are we expecting our loved ones who are suffering so much to do? Live like this for us?

No one can know how much time is left but I think subconsciously you know when someone is close.

I think you have a good grasp on it all. I hope you are doing alright. Please feel free to PM me if you would like to. I am sending you positive thoughts and wishes for comfort and peace.

Flowergirlie

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So very sorry that your MIL isn't doing well. I know how hard it is for your SIL to accept that treatment may not be realistic right now. Hopefully, your MIL and FIL will be able to decide if treatment is the right option for now. I will be remembering your MIL and family in prayers.

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My mil started radiation last week. She is not doing well though. I have no idea how she even gets to the radiation place. She sleeps about 20 hours a day, when she is up she is not herself, can't get the words out, and can't carry on a conversation. She was crying this weekend because she couldn't say what she wanted to, everything came out wrong and I guess someone teased her, and she fell about. They didn't do it to be mean, but I think they tried to make light out of a situation they didn't know how to handle. I guess the stuff she was saying had absolutely nothing to do with what they were talking about. I feel in my heart time is close. I spoke with her on Saturday and her words were all garbled and she only had the strength to talk for a few minutes. It is so sad.

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So sorry for all the pain. You should call Hospice. It was very hard for me to call them at first. I cryied for 2 days before I did. The nurse at the cancer center helped me decide. I couldn't get John to walk he was 265 6'4" and i am 97 and 5' 2". No one to help me move John. He couldn't even crawl. But than Hospice came in and walked me threw every thing. I've called them even at 3 in the morning.

God bless you's and help you's in your need. I'll pray for you's

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