janehill Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 The pain is searing. My chest is in excruciating pain. I want to run - just run as fast as I can and get away from myself. I want to rid myself of reality. When she was diagnosed, her only request was that she not go into a nursing home. I was able to keep that promise. I told her she would be cared for in my home. She was. I told her I'd be by her side when she left this earth. I was. I was blessed in so many ways and I want to remember that to get me through this bottomless void. Thank you all for so much support and kindness you have extended me - even when my patience was exhausted and I was impossible to deal with. I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing my mom was still here for another day - alert, conscious - that I could say to her, "Listen to me Mom, because there's not a lot of time. I'm sorry when I said ugly things that hurt you; I was tired and frustrated and scared. But I love you so much and I thank you for working so hard to give me a good life, I forgive you for the ways in which you went wrong and I ache for you until we meet again." I hope she's dancing for the first time in her life, amidst a crowd of angels. Sweet Mommy, I love you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nova Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 I'm so sorry..... Heaven just gained an extra special angel. Nova Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laban Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 She is pain free and living a wonderful life now with the angels. Prayers for you for continued strength and peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peacelover Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 words cannot express my sorrow for you.... I am sending you comfort and strength and knowing that your mom IS indeed dancing now... Blessings Melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 As you enter a new Chapter in your life plase know that we are always here for you in any way that you need us, My condolences and Prayers go out to your Family tonite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I'm so very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Jane- I am so sorry your mom is gone. I am glad you were able to care for her and be with her at the end. I know she is dancing and watching over you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish there were a way to ease your pain but I know that is impossible right now. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyoung20 Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I pray that you find comfort in God's peace during this time of grief. God Bless!! Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Q Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I wish for you much strength and peace in the days and months ahead. Please accept my deepest sympathies. ~Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I am so very sorry. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredmom959 Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Jane ... my deepest, sincere sympathy to you. Take comfort (as much as you can) in that you were a wonderful daughter to her and with her through everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace. Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I'm so very sorry for your loss. My prayers go out to you and your family during this extremely painful and difficult time. Know that we will be here for you when you need us. God Bless, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomsGirl Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Jane, I'm so sorry you are feeling that pain. I know, I know...and my prayers and thoughts go out to you tonight. You took care of her and loved her and did the very best you could do, and that is all anyone asks of their loved one. I'm so very sorry...God bless your mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 (((Jane))), My sincere condolences on the loss of your dear Mother. You have been a wonderful daughter and your posts during this difficult time have touched me deeply. God bless and keep you close during this time. Welthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Jane, I am sorry that you and your mom had to go through all of this. Your mom is happy now and healed. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calintay Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR LOSS MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Oh (((Jane))), I am just sorry, sorry, sorry. Please accept my condolences. As you begin this new leg of the journey I hope you can find some solace knowing you kept all your promises and did ALL there was to do, the very BEST that you could. You are amazing! Hope you can feel all of us propping you up to help you through these very dark and difficult days. Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Jane, I am so sorry to hear that your mother has left. I believe with all me heart that she is whole, and happy, and dancing with the angels. I also believe that this is much harder for you than for her. You will have my prayers for strength and for comfort. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtay Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Thinking of you Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinC1973 Posted August 12, 2007 Share Posted August 12, 2007 Jane, I am so sorry. It's been a long road, hasn't it? But I am POSITIVE, because we are alike and our moms shared common obstacles, that you would not trade one single day. My thoughts and prayers are with you now, and forever as you begin this journey of grief. PLEASE keep coming here; it is a place where I have found comfort from those who understand more than any other place. I really, really hope that our moms are both dancing now. I hope mine is dancing with my stepdad--country line dancing, to be exact. I can still see my mom "chair dancing," as she called it. I trust that they are both pain-free for the first time in a long time. They so deserve to be rewarded. I can't comment on wanting your mom to be here one more day so you could apologize for things you said and did; I am living it now, every single day of my life. No one will change my mind, no matter how many times they tell me "what a good daughter" I am, and "how my mom loved me and was proud of me." I'm just not there yet. Peace, Jane. And again, I am so deeply sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted August 12, 2007 Share Posted August 12, 2007 Oh Jane, my heart broke when I read your post. Your mom went through so much. You were a wonderful daughter to her. You were able to carry out her wish and she loved you so much for that. She is with the angles and dancing with glee as she is free from her sick body. I know how much it hurts to lose a mom as they are irreplacable and the hurt is tremendous. Keep those womderful memeories alive within your heart and there she will live on within you. Please acccept my depest condolences to you and your family. Please know that wer are always here for you. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recce101 Posted August 12, 2007 Share Posted August 12, 2007 Jane: Words are never enough at a time like this, but I want you to know all your posts the past several months have touched a resonant chord in me. They've all been special and somehow a little different. Your mom was so fortunate to have you close by her side. My warmest Aloha, Ned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mary colleen Posted August 12, 2007 Share Posted August 12, 2007 Jane, God bless you - you did it your way and in accordance with your play book, and that took great love and compassion. Your Mom is fine, though you probably feel as if your center of gravity is suddenly gone. Now, you need and deserve rest. I'll pray that you get it. MC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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