hawkeye Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while but its been really hectic here and I'm probably going to vent a bit. That said we had a scan done on 12-31-07. the results did not come back good. The tumors have grown and spread extensively. Mary has been in the hospital since feb 1.That day we had gone to the hospital to have some fluid drained from her lung which we did with some problems. It only gave her reliefe for a very short time. The doc also said that she had air on the outside of her lung(not good). That's when we got her admitted. A chest tube was out of the question because of how the tumor is situated and the doc;s weren't sure if it would seal properly which if it didn't would cause more problems. Surgery posed the same problems plus the fact that she is sooooo weak. This all said her brothers and sisters are all here along with her sons. The sons are handleing things well. The problem is with a couple of her brothers and sisters. They are ttrying to take over all of her care and not talking to me at all about it. This is very upsetting.Fortunately I talked to the nurses before and they know i have POA and what Mary's wishes are. It's just hard. The ones that are doting over her are the same ones that we going to "sue" her for not paying rent when she stayed at their deceased fathers house when she was getting divorced many years ago.And they actually forced her to pay them!!!!!!! Now ther'e trying to be all caring. Actually my "fix" has been to let them dote over her if it makes them feel better. I will have my time and Mary and I have had "our times". And it's givin me time to take care of a few things. Well I've rambled enough. We love each and everyone of you folks for all you support thru thhis journey. Peace out Mary and hawkeye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 thoughts prayers and Peace for both Mary and Hawkeye today and always! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laban Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Thanks so much for the update. All I can say is hang in there, take the help when you can and know that prayers will continue for both Mary and yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Saying a prayer for you both. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 you both have my prayers. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Hawkeye -- I'm so very sorry to hear about Mary's condition. You are handling the frustration of the relatives very well, but I wish they would be more supportive of you. God bless, Welthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 I am sorry for what you and Mary are going through. This is what I learned in dealing with a spouses relatives-- the grand gestures and vows are all about them-- to make them feel better. It has nothing to do with Mary or you, it's about them. You're being very good about this, but don't let them infringe on your time with your wife. You need some alone time together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leela Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Praying for you and Mary, Hawkeye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marci Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Hi Hawkeye, I am praying for you and Mary. I know exactly what you are going through with the family members. I go through it so much with my mom's sisters. They don't go through the day-to-day stuff and then want to take over whenever convenient for them. They are not there day to day with the struggles and lets not forget the special loving things that are only between you and Mary. Think of those things when they start to get on your nerves. They will never share that only you will have those things. Thats what I do now -I think of special things that I only do for my Mom and no one else and I am sure you have many of them with Mary. I don't know why family members start to act this way - I guess its panic that they may lose someone and then they get possessive. Not sure what it all means Hawkeye!! Sending my Best, Marci Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Hawkeye My thoughts and prayers are with you and Mary. Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Thank you all your prayers and support. I must let you know that Mary had a prety comfortable and painfree day. She was aware and abit talkative. I did manage to reduce the "crowd" in the room and have it to 3-4 at a time and was also able to get several in by themselves. Mary has always been a caregiver in her family so its a very different situation for her. Not that we're giving up by any means but i have asked everyone to let her know that they will be "OK". And that we will take care of eachother. I think its important for her know that. Anyway I'm tired but I doubt I'll sleep much. Peace out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I am glad Mary had a restful day yesterday... Please know you are both in my daily prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted February 10, 2008 Author Share Posted February 10, 2008 Hi all, Just a quick update here. Since last April several of Mary's coworkers would come over once a month for a "Porch party". We would sit in the backyark have a couple of drinks and converse. That was a wonderful time for mary. Well friday I was able to get ahold of these folks and we did the same thing in the hospital room ( without the alcohol) although the doc said if she wanted a drink why not!!! Mary was awake and talkative and had a great time. She even got some baloons and a box of fudge from the main office in Cincinnati. She smiled and laughed and had a great time. I have hospice coming in also. I'm tired and am going to try to sleep (hasn't been easy though). Peace out Mary and hawkeye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Wow, that sounds like such a wonderful time! I am so glad you were able to do that and I am sure Mary appreciated it. Keep us posted and know that you and Mary continue to be in my thoughts and prayers Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 What a caring thing to do. Mary is lucky to have you at her side. Judy in Key West Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Thanks for keeping us udated. I love the porch meeting in the hospital. How wonderful that must have been for her. I will continue to send prayers to her. Hospice will be a blessing for her and you. Prayers sent to your Mary. I also pray for her to be pain free, that is so important that she is made comfortable. We are always here for you. You can vent anytime. I hope you got some needed rest as you have to be strong around her. Please take care of yourself too! Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 Mary has been doing somewhat betterand if all goes well she will come home tomorrow (Monday). We have hospice coming in and one nice thing about the one we chose is that a niece of ours is going to be our HHA. That made Mary happy. The oldest boy (Robbie) and his wife are going to move in to help out. They have both been great in helping to care for her. We have a list of friends and phone #s to help run errands and sit with Mary from time to time so this is good since most of them are the "porch " crowd . The hard part is she is heavily medicated for the pain and is having scattered thoughts. We do seem to have her pain under control which is really good. Although I have a few things to vent I dont feel like doing that tonite. Peace out Mary and hawkeye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I;m so sorry for Mary and all you and your family are going through. Looking at Mary's profile besides all she has gone though medically there certainly were some highlights she was able to witness. The marriage of your son and the birth of your grandaughter Michele.. I'm glad her pain is under control and she has people that she loves helping out. You are blessed there. We are here for you and we care. Prayers sent to your Mary. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bev'sSister Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 So sorry you have to go through this Hawkeye. This part is truly the toughest. I know Mary is happy you are there with her. Keep us posted and vent when needed..it helps. Love to you and yours, Bobby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dihen Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 I'm sorry that you and Mary have to go through this but it's so nice to see that you both have a great support system in family members and 'porch' friends alike. I hope that Mary's transition back home will go well and more good times lie ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Hawkeye Continued thoughts and prayers for you and Mary as well as your family and friends. We are here and will be here when you are ready to vent. Warmly Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Hawkeye, I'm sorry you are at this point, but it sounds like you are surrounded by some very good, caring friends and family. I will be keeping you and Mary in my prayers. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Just want you to know that you and Mary are in my thoughts and prayers. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 We got Mary home on Monday and set up with the hospice. They showed us how to administer her drugs and make her comfortable. She hardly eats or drinks at all and sleeps almost all the time. I fear that she doesn't have long to go. Her oldest son and his wife are staying here and have been simply fantastic. Mary would be so proud of them as I am. Its very hard especially since Mary really has no "quality of life" at this point. She will mumble now and then but can't really speak. It is so hard to watch her lay there and I feel so helpless. She is out of it almost all the time. I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!! CANCER SUCKS!!!!! Peace out Mary and hawkeye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Hawkeye I am glad you have Mary's son and his wife there to help you. I am sorry this is happening and will continue to hold you all in my thoughts and prayers. Warmly Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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