Appointment tomorrow (presumably to get biopsy results/discuss treatment)

[LexieCat]

Just got a call from Dr.'s office (not the doc, a scheduling person) asking if I can come in to see doc tomorrow morning at 10. Of course, my brain automatically goes to "they want to give you the bad news they don't like to do over the phone." But rationally, regardless of what the biopsy shows, he's gonna want to discuss treatment with me, probably give me some stuff to read, etc.

I am feeling rocks in my stomach right now, but I AM glad I won't have to remain in suspense over the weekend. I'll have the weekend to start processing whatever.

Ugh--as much as I hate not knowing when I'll know something, knowing I'll know something in 18 hours may be worse.

I don't remember which one of my doctors commented that we needed to make sure we weren't dealing with small cell this time, but that keeps running through my head.

[GaryG]

Hopefully you hear what you like and nothing else. Personally I will put the right foot forward  because the alternative will not help. Will be thinking and praying.

[Tom Galli]

Teri,

If it is any comfort, small cell transformation is most common in adenocarcinoma EGFR expression folks who've been treated with targeted therapy. Even in those circumstances, thankfully a very small percent of folks are effected. There are other small cell transformations with other forms,  but they very rare. More likely (probability wise), you could be dealing with a new small cell cancer primary that is completely unrelated to your previous tumor. As I recall, your surgeon expressed this concern on viewing the high SUV of the PET. I've had and seen similar numbers without transformation.

I know you are on pins and needles but it sounds like you've got a physician for an oncologist (MD has training and license; physician also but deducted to restoring health). 

Hopefully, I'll see you on the 6:30 EST Lungevity Zoom session.

Stay the course.

Tom

[LexieCat]

Well, I'm not sure it's any "better" to be dealing with primary small cell than it is a transformation, is it? Isn't it basically the same once it's identified as SCLC?

I know I'm getting ahead of myself.

[Rower Michelle]

Teri,

I got the same phone call in September 2018.  Please come to the office, no splain.  We already knew I had Stage IV disease and figured the news couldn’t possibly get much worse.  
 

This is where I learned that oncologists will call you in for “good” news to discuss treatment options in person.   
 

Sometimes the prescribed therapy leaves you with a vitamin deficiency therefore in order to start treatment you might need something like a B12 injection.   
 

It’s easy to let your mind go to dark places in the absence of information so try & hang in there.  
 

Michelle

[LexieCat]

Thanks, Michelle,

That's what I'm trying to avoid, is dark places. I know even if I get the "worst" news, I will process it and pull myself together for moving forward. I'm just trying to get my head to that flexible place I like to talk about, so I can ask relevant questions and remember what I'm told, regardless of what it turns out to be. 

I will have my daughter here with me in just a couple of weeks, and I am SO glad she's coming. I think it will make her feel good that she's able to help. My son is going to drive out with her from Colorado, taking turns so they don't have to stay anywhere and be exposed to anything. 

LOL, there are many times in the course of being a parent when you wonder whether it's worth it. I'm sure grateful for my kiddos now.

[Babs]

So sorry you have to go through this feeling of uncertainty tonight!  It sucks!  Whatever the Doc has to say tomorrow at least there will be a plan which is the next step in this battle!  I will be thinking of you.

Very happy that your daughter will be here soon.  She will be a great comfort to you.  Do you have someone to go with you tomorrow?
 

Chin up,

Babs

[LexieCat]

No, and even if I did, they aren't allowing visitors to accompany patients right now. So either way, I'd be flying solo.

Right now, I'm waiting for a call from my stepsister-in-law. I've been handling my stepmom's (91) Power of Attorney since my dad died a couple of years ago, and with everything going on right now with me, I want someone in her family to take it over. This is becoming a whole to-do among the siblings, and really I shouldn't have to be involved in these discussions, but I'll have to get whoever the new person is, up to speed. So hopefully they can come to an agreement and we can get this legal stuff taken care of. I've got my own financial/legal decisions to make. 

I really can't stand family drama. We've had very little of it in my own family and I don't like having to deal with other people's.

[Sabacat]

Oh, don’t be as bad as me with worst case scenarios. 😉   Bet he just wants to talk about the plan.  Easy to say from here, though - I know too well the stress of the wait.  
 

I’m with you on family drama!  You sure don’t need that to deal with now.  
 

Thinking of you on both counts! Please keep us posted.

Susan

[Babs]

Yes, family drama is special isn’t it?  Our family is pretty calm and drama free.  My son in laws family is not and unfortunately my daughter often gets sucked into theirs!  
 

Freeing yourself to concentrate on your own stuff/ health is important and necessary.  Good luck....

Babs

[Scruboak]

Oh, keep us updated Lexi. 

[BridgetO]

It's good that your able to get in to see the doc tomorrow and don't have to wait over the weekend. I' m lighting a candle for you. Remember the light when you start to go into dark places. We're here for you and it's wonderful your kids are, too.  

Bridget O

[Judy M2]

LexieCat, I was also responsible for my 97-year old father's care but when I got my diagnosis, I turned everything over to my only sibling so I could eliminate all the stress and drama (believe me, there has been a lot). 

Fingers crossed for you at the doctor's. Hope it's not as bad as you're thinking.