berisa Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 my dad is now in hospital, yesterday he was starting not to confuse gradually bcoz he stopped taking steriod the day before yesterday. His vision is poor that I think it definitely affects his daily life. But it is worth if no more cancer found in his brain FOREVER. The next brain MRI is April 20th. The neurosurgeon said they will schedule future visits more frequently. He had the brain CT scan 2 days ago, and the neurosurgeon told mom that it looks fine. My dad didn't feel painful at his right chest now. From the chest x-ray, my dad told us the oncologist said the lung tumor is stable. GOOD to hear STABLE>>>>>>keep on......... Although I will not fully believe what my dad told me bcoz he was confused and disoriented that today afternoon, we, all kids will meet the neurosurgeon. I guess she will officially update us about dad's status and what should we pay attention to after discharged. Will let you all know and updated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 thanks for the update on your dad, Berisa. My prayers are with you. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaKB Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Hi Berisa, Thanks for the update. Stable is good. Hopefully, his confusion also subsides. I will continue to pray for your Dad. Theresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyb Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 My prayers are with your dad and your family for positive results. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Berisa Hang in there...Thanks for the update.You both remain in my prayers. Hugs, Lynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Berisa, Stable, that is good, Good vibes for the rest of the results. Hugs J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Berisa stable is good.. Hopefully you will get more good news when you see the onc.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 keeping your sweet father close to my heart, we have fought this battle so long together and we will keep fighting for our dads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Berissa, You are one special daughter and pls know that you and your family are in many prayers. Give your dad a big hug from us all. And here's one for you, too---((( )). Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhioKat Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Sending you special prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO_Sugar Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Berisa, Prayers for your Dad and your family being said! God Bless you, MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted March 12, 2004 Author Share Posted March 12, 2004 tonight we just met the neurosurgeon for 2 mins only as she had to do an emergency surgery for patients. She is really a good doctor as she concerns not only my dad's physical but also his mental & psychological as well as all of us -- family. She is really nice and care us. She suggested my dad out (home leaves) for 2 days and return to hospital on Monday. That's what my dad is hoping for long time. She thinks my dad will feel better when he is home as his pressure (emotionally & psychological) will be better released. So tonight my dad went home and we found that he still has some confusions. I do hope this will be disappeared soon because if this situation persists, it may be a real mental problem that the neurosurgeon will refer him to see psycharist (sp?). I found it is really difficult to accept this reality -- he will be gone. Tonight one doctor commented "terminal disease that there is no cure but only to prolong life", I found myself could not accept this fact although I know what he said is true. I know from my heart, I am still not ready for this and seems not really believe it. Did you ever feel in this way? How can you guys experience and get through your parents' gone? How long the pain will last? None of my close friends have experienced this that they cannot help me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natalie Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Berisa, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Since everything is still fresh for me, I can relate to your words and fears. There was some supernatural thing that got me through everything and now I look back and think to myself, "wow, how the heck did I get through watching my mom go through that?!". Something helps you get through it, I don't know what it is, but I was stronger than I ever thought I was. Now, I'm slowly accepting the fact that my mom is gone. I think that our time on earth is predetermined so I try to tell myself that it was meant to be that my mom's life was cut short. As angry as it makes me that my mom is gone at 56, I'm not in control of my mom's fate. I believe in miracles Berisa and if I were to give you advice, I'd say to not think too far ahead of what "might" happen. Just live day to day and come here for support. You never know what could happen. I will say special prayers for your Dad. You are a great daughter and you should be very proud for everything you are doing for your Dad. Take Care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Berisa, Prayers..... XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SharKats Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 I will remember your Dad in my prayers. Wishing you and your family the very best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Karen C Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Berisa, I think of you often and have been wondering just how your Dad is doing. I am so sorry that the diagnoses of just prolonging life was given, and I'm torn between hoping the best for you accepting that, and wanting to tell you to keep your family strong and together and keep on fighting. But only you knows what is best for your family, and for your Dad. I think you are way too young to lose a Dad and he's way too young to go. He sounds, and looks, like a sweet dad, I feel close to him when I see his photo with his arm around you. Take care, and know that I will be praying for you. God Bless, Karen C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Berisa, I hope your dad will improve over his stay at home. Sometimes it takes a while for the "fog" to lift. It's hard to face the posibility of losing a much-loved parent. My family is still at a very hopeful point, but I sure do remember the scary way it all started out for us. You and your dad are in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judysdaughter Posted March 13, 2004 Share Posted March 13, 2004 Dear Sweet Berisa, I look for your posts as they were what made me push my mom with her doctors. I've just recently posted under "general" so I won't repeat myself, but I am in a similar position. God help us. Everyone is different so I can't speak to your situation directly but only share mine. I can tell you that it took about a week to regulate pain meds and anxiety meds to get my mom to a good state. They were giving her steroids (for anti-inflammation) that may have confused her. It took a few days for it to leave her system. I don't know what finally clicked with her, but it did. I know the anxiety medicine helped A LOT!! Also, she hadn't been eating or drinking and was dehydrated and I suspect, malnourished. On top of all of it, SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH DYING!!!! Any one of us would be off of our rocker. It 's been three weeks and she's doing a lot better from where she is at. Also, she had radiation initially and it really took the life and reason out of her. Could be the same with your dad (if I remember your posts correctly). Please pm me if you'd like to talk. Please grant all of us Your grace God, Jenny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted March 13, 2004 Author Share Posted March 13, 2004 Thank you all encouragement and comforting words. All mean a lot to me. In fact, I have not yet given up. My dad physically looks strong although he has lost some pounds in hospital. As what the oncologist said, they will try the second-line chemo later while he gets back the energy from craniotomy. YES, my dad didn't receive the second-line chemo yet. Why so early to give up. For doctors, my dad is terminal since recurrent sclc is uncurable. I know this from reading many articles regarding sclc. In my mind, I know my dad one day, will leave us. BUT, the longer survival time is a MATTER........I am still hoping he could live longer as he has not yet started the second-line chemo....we still have hopes. Maybe I justify myself, I think his relapsed brain tumor occurred becoz the first time craniotomy did't remove all cells otherwise how come it relapsed in the same location without other new mets in brain? This time, if the craniotomy was perfect to remove all cancerous cells, then he has no problem.... In fact, the positive side is, his lung tumor didn't get large and being stable. This is what I am happy. He is now taking Yunzhi and I think it helps him to boost his immune system for fighting the cancer. Thank you for all your ears and prayers and thoughts. Here is the right place to vent, the right place to obtain knowledge & experience, the right place to meet nice people that we know we are not alone. Thank you Katie and Rick for making this such a nice website for mankind. Thanks for you two efforts and time on this and may God reward you two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyCW Posted March 13, 2004 Share Posted March 13, 2004 Berisa, I was glad to see an update, as I was wondering about your father, but sorry to hear the news is not better. I'm glad you're not giving up, and will pray for you and your father and family members to be at peace with all decisions and outcomes. I hope his confusion goes away soon, and that he feels better. I know that just having you nearby is doing him a world of good. My heart is with you, BeckyCW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted March 17, 2004 Author Share Posted March 17, 2004 We all had a very nice weekend at home. But my dad was very frightening to go back to hospital and told us all not want to go back for several times. But, those two days of home leaves he was very calm and comfortable and without delusions. Unfortunately, last Monday morning right before went back to hospital, he tried to kill himself but finally he didn't do it because he was afraid to affect us, affect our future if being in the headlines and want to see us longer. He finally came back to hospital then on Monday morning, but he started to have mild delusions. He and us met the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist prescribed anti-depressant and a drug that treat delusions to my dad. The psycharist commented my dad's delusion is starting to go away and in fact, the delusions are caused by the steriod, his brain tumor and his psychological fear. We, in fact, have a lot of pressure to deal with his non-sense delusions. He will be manic if we do not follow his will. He said someone is trying to kill us, he has to pay ransom for saving us. He requested my mom to give around US$7700 CASH to him for saving us. We certainly refused him to do so but he was mad at us, and scolded us. I was really hurt as he thinks I am not really care him.....but on one side, I know this is not him. Today, doctors think my dad will feel better if he stays home so my dad just come back home and will go back to hospital to meet the psychiatrist and remove the stitches. If everything go smooth, then he will be offically discharged on this coming Friday. My mom and brother have to take care of my dad and watching over him as they live together. The pressure to them especially my mom will be very heavy. The pressure to take care of his physical is not heavy but to take care of his psychological is not really easy as we are afraid that he will try to kill himself again. You know, this intention only occupies 1 second. Please do keep him in prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 Oh Berisa, You and your family will be in my prayers. I hope your Father finds some peace. Ginny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 My mom had some delusional behavior after being intubated for 4 days. It went away quickly - we laugh about it now. The hospital makes some people have anxiety attacks just by itself. It's no wonder your dad has a harder time in the hospital. Prayers going out for you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO_Sugar Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 Continued prayers for your Dad and family. God Bless, MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 Aw, Berisa, I am so sorry your dad is having a hard time of it. May his time home be calming and rational, and may he enjoy the love of his family all around him. XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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