natalie Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 My mom's birthday is this Saturday. I'm in a wedding...the last thing I feel like being a part of on that day, but at least it will keep my mind preoccupied. I just don't know how to get away from the hurt...especially when I am there for the moments that my friend's mom is there to see her daughter get married and to watch them bond on that special day. I was in a wedding in May and I remember when my friend and her mom had that moment and I had to leave because it was hard for me to watch. I feel awful that I'm so selfish like that...but I couldn't hold the tears back...I don't think she noticed, but I already feel emotional about Saturday. Is that normal? I'm feeling nervous because I feel that this wedding will be a double whammy one being that it will be my moms birthday another watching a daughter and mom on the special day. I just think weddings are so special with a mother and daughter. I can't help but be jealous. My friend who is getting married is so sweet, I had to tell her it was my mom's birthday b/c I was worried about my Dad being alone, so she made sure my Dad was invited b/c she knew that day was going to be exceptionally hard for my Dad and I. I don't visit my mom at the cemetary often...actually I've only been there 3 times since she has died. If I didn't have this wedding, I would have gone to see my mom, but my mom is 2 hours away from where I live and my friends wedding is 2 hours the other way...so there's no way to fit it in. I feel guilt, like I've left my mom...but I just don't think of my mom at the cemetary...in my mind she's in heaven with my grandma. Sorry, I'm just feeling sorry for myself today and rambling. It's just not fair!!!! My mom would be 57 on Saturday. I miss my mommy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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