Yep, that's a real dilemma. We've all been there. My approach is to realize that is the way it is, get over it and move on. Some people truly care -- they just don't know what to say, and sometimes they say the wrong thing without realizing it. If you want to weed out the ones who want to know, just be honest with everyone, and give them a quick update. Those who really don't want to know will stop asking, and those who really do will continue to keep in touch. People will surprise you both ways -- some you think would respond will not, and others you really didn't think would will. It's a funny world. Just as ourselves, you don't know how you will respond to cancer until it happens. Naturally, those of us who has been there usually respond more appropriately, so part of it is education. Hang in there. And forgive those who are ignorant or just hopeless. Don