Curtis, your dad needs to be forgiven, and you need to forgive him, even if it is just in your heart. Forgiveness is more about the forgiver than the forgiven. As long as we don't forgive, that person controls our lives. We need to let it go and move on. And anger takes its physical toll as well. Forgiveness is a decision, even if we don't feel it. We decide to forgive and then live into it, with time.
I am sure Becky's memories will keep you straight, because you remember her advice even now. Continue to do that -- for her, and for your child, and for yourself.
We are forgiven only as we forgive. Too many of us forget that. I hope you find the peace you seek. You have a lot of support here. Don