Don Wood

Marlon, you are obviously a very creative dude. However, I find the spinning cube menu and the other everchanging menu a little disconcerting for my taste. Good luck. Don

We are fortunate also in the tremedous support we are getting from family, friends, church, even people in places where we eat out. However, I was in a small group of men who met for breakfast once a week. One of the members and his wife are the "doom and gloom" type -- they mean well, but they don't help. I got out of that group (after privately explaining to the others why I was leaving) and got into another breakfast group that is soooo supportive and positive. So I agree that we need to surround ourselves while going through this ordeal with people who support and love us and can be positive. Don

Actually, 2-3 years is an eternity with cancer. A lot can happen in the way of effective treatments in that time. It's like with the life expectancy charts -- the longer you live, the longer you are projected to live further. Hope you can see the positive in that and work towards it. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1995 and opted for radiation. In 2002, it came back, but by then they had perfected the radioactive seed implants, which I opted to do (not available in 1995), and now my prognosis is "less than 10% chance of recurrence"). Good luck. Don

Well, guys and gals, Hurricane Claudette went in south of us, so we just got some much needed rain and some nice wind. Knocked that temp down a bit. We are pleased. Lucie is out having lunch with a friend! The sun is shining (figuratively) -- oh, happy day! Don

Sharyn, you got it. Don

Guilt is definitely a control device. The more self-assured we are, the less effect it has from others. It is true that we can control how we react to the attenpt. When people try that on me, I just grin and say, "You're trying to make me feel guilty and it isn't going to work!" Don

I am glad to see you did some planting. That is a great tribute and reminder of your husband. I hope you will continue to do positive things in his memory. I think he would want you to have the strength to get through this tremendous grief. You have much more to give this life, if you just give it the chance. I hope you will. God's blessings. Don

I think your husband would be very sad at your pain, and I don't think he would want you to suffer like this. Try to think of some positive things you can do to honor his life and his memory. Don

Shelly, it is so true. Kids do care and each one responds a different way. We have seen that with our own kids and with our grandkids. Don

Rana, my heart aches for you. So sorry at the loss of your mom. I do believe she is peaceful now. Wrap yourself with her memroies, and take time to grieve and heal. Keep in touch here. Blessings. Don

What a sweetheart you are, Laurie.

Kathy, they haven't a clue! How could they, when they haven't walked in our shoes. They try to relate by bringing up situations that in their experience are tough, not realizing it isn't even in the ballpark of our situations. There are individuals, like Peg's sister, who are sensitive enough to know they have no clue. I have a guy working with me as a lay minister who said the same thing, "I can't imagine what you are going through". If he had not said that, he would be of no use to me in helping me through being a caregiver. We have to forgive these people and really hope they will never know what we know in the way we know it. Even cancer situations are different. My two bouts with prostate cancer can't even hold a candle to what my wife, Lucie, is going through with NSCLC. My experience did prepare me, though, to be a good caregiver to her and to have a background of knowledge to help her. Blessings. Don

Welcome to the board, Sam. Much info and support here. As you learn more, share, and ask your questions. There's a variety of experience here. Don

Hi, Cheryl, and welcome to the board. Much info and support here. Don

Hi, Mday and welcome to the board. Much info and support here. Don

Welcome to the Message Board, Rich. Sorry at your prognosis, but, as you will find here, there are many survivors of various stages. Doctors speak from statistics, which are averages, and each person is an individual. I wish you the best. Much info and support here. Don

Done.

Thanks, Shelly. I have said the prayer for Ada. Don

What are you looking forward to in the future? What keeps you going? Don

So glad to see your post, Shannon, I, too, have been thinking about you. Sounds like you are on a good path. Blessings. Don

Beautiful! The wind beneath our wings! Don

Singlecancermom, is this a different type of cancer? So sorry you have to face this again. My prayers are with you. Don

Christina, That is a great way to work through your grief, by serving others. You are terrific. Don

Have a great trip! Don

Candy, first, you don't owe them an explanation. "No" is a complete sentence. Second, there is nothing you can say that will penetrate their skulls, so don't waste your energy trying to find just the right response. Third, if you really don't want to go, that is sufficient reason for you, and you are the only one that needs to be satisfied with that. Fourth, I do hope you are taking breaks and doing some things you want to do, because us caregivers are not superhuman, and we need to take care of ourselves as well, if we are going to be there for our loved ones. Don