Don Wood

Dave, glad you had a great weekend with family and I wish you the best in your treatment and testing. Don

We had a good one, and Lucie is doing more. She got two quilts together that she wanted to finish and is having a quilt shop do the finishing touches. Lucie has an MRI on her left upper thigh scheduled for Wednesday so we will need your prayers for that. We have a medical appointment every day this week except today, so we are celebrating not having to go anywhere! Don

Cindy, glad you had a good 4th weekend this year with your family. Families are great, yes they are! Don

Gail, one of God's gifts is family, and especially one that shows His love to each other. So glad you had this opportunity to enjoy them. I know I am grateful for mine. Don

Marlon, congratulations to your mom for her 1st anniversary of survivorship! It is wonderful to read such stories when many doctors give the lung cancer patients less than a year. Celebrate! Don

Jane, super news about your sister! I know you are ecstatic. It shows that given time the researchers can come up with an effective treatment. I am glad that Iressa is working for your sister, and I'm anxious for my wife to get on it real soon. Blessings. Don

Dona, welcome to the message board. Yep, you and your mom can go on and fight against this. Many people have second bouts and survive. My wife and I are battling her first bout since last October, and so far, we are winning. She still has pain she has to take meds for. Know that there is much support and caring here. Don

Sounds like a wonderful weekend. Glad it happened to such nice people. Don

Ray, happy anniversary! Don

Carol, you sound like super people, you and Gene. Glad you could vent your frustrations, as all caregivers need to do. Know that you have a lot of support and caring here. Don

Done.

Christina, it is hard to know where to start on this one. First, cancer does crazy things to the patient and to the caregiver, even under the best of circumstances. My wife is demanding on me because she feels safe with me, but she's a lot nicer about it than your husband. Yep, you married for the wrong reason, and, in a way, he may resent that fact, and that adds to the lashing out. I agree that you should set him straight that he has to treat you decently, cancer or no cancer, or he is on his own. I have said before that we teach people how to treat us, and if we allow crap from someone, crap is what we get. As has been stated above, you must take care of yourself metnally, physically, emotionally, or you will be no good to take care of him or anyone else. My prayers are with you. Don

My two cents: If you two truly love each other, you should not postpone your wedding. The future is too unpredictable, and you could find yourself postponing again and again and getting very frustrated. Your future-in-laws right now can't focus on anything but his cancer, so they cannot make clear decisions about anything else. But since you two are in your 30's, this is really up to your fiance. Don

Jenny, take a well deserved rest and enjoy the heck out of life! Congrats on finishing your chemo. I wish great things for you in the future. Don

Lenny, there you go again -- being a great paramedic! Resuscitating us all! I think that is a wonderful profession, and I admire those who do that. Paramedics took my wife and I to her first two radiation sessions while she was still in the hospital and I loved those people! Have a great week! Don

Just a thought I had reading this sequence here. When we are in a negative funk, it might help if we can think of just one positive thing that has happened out of this cancer experience. Now I know that is a very tall order, and difficult to do, but it helps us put a little light in the darkness. One thing Lucie and I have discovered is that we are much closer to each other now than before the cancer, and we thought we were very close before. That knowledge of a deeper love keeps us going through many a dark time. Maybe it is a push to get us to do something important that we have been putting off because we will "get around to it", and now we know time is of the essence. I discovered that I could be a full-time caregiver for my wife, even though there are times when I doubt it, and both my wife and my daughter didn't think I, a man, could do it -- and they were almost right. I have discovered strength I did not know I had. Would I trade all that for her health? You betcha! But that is not the way it is, and we are called to do the best with what we do have. Tall order, yes, but doable. My sermon for Sunday. Don

Hi, and welcome to the message board. Lots of support and info here. We all come into this world "terminal", we just don't know when. Doctors can only speak from statistics, and we are all individuals. We cope with this by not looking too far down the road with "what ifs", but to have some goals to move us on into the future. Stay with us. We are all in this together. Love and caring are to be shared. And you do need to find a way to vent the emotions you have, so they are dispensed constructively and not destructively. Good luck on your new journey. Lots of company here. Don

Rayroy, Lucie's onc told us she should take enough morphine to ease the pain. She takes slow release morphine in the morning and evening, and has some "breakthrough" or fast release morphine she can take in between. I try to watch and see when she starts hallucinating too much and then try to find a ground between that and the pain ease. She is doing okay right now. Blessings. Don

Happy birthday, Richie! Deb, the best gift you can give your dad is your love and support, and I kno whe has that. Have a great Sunday! Don

Terre, hearing the word "cancer" has a numbing effect. And with the pain and all, your mom is scared, angry and depressed. So take what she says with a grain of salt. As people have said here, she will come out of this -- it just takes time. I am glad you have a friend you can get the news from. Your dad has his hands full, too -- take it from a caregiver. When things start to slow down, perhaps he can communicate with you directly. I suspect he knew the friend would inform you and he didn't have to give you the news himself. Both your parents are going to go through a rough ride, so hand in there. Blessings. Don

Shelly, I don't know what to say that would help your pain. Your post shows a lot of anger and pain. I can say, "Don't do anything rash that would make it worse for your mom." Don

As someone pointed out to me when I was complaining about someone who had not responded at all to us -- sometimes they start out with good intentions and when they don't respond right away, they feel guilty and afraid to call, and it just gets worse with time. Lucie has a friend that had never called or dropped a note since the diagnosis. I ran into her at church (I gues she couldn't escape!) and she started in on how busy she has been and how she feels guilty about not calling. I saind, "Don't feel guilty -- call her right away! It will do her much good." Well, she didn't call that day, but she did call that week, and they had a nice phone visit. Lucie was pleased. I guess some people just don't know how to handle someone with cancer. But a call, or a card, or an E-mail is so simple. Ah well! If the friend is important enough, I would make the first move. Don

Carey, that is great news! Don

Go, kdgirl!

Linda, my prayers are with you and family. Don