Treebywater

Darlene--After my Dad's sister.

Thinking of you both... Praying for the best. I'm sorry things are so tough right now, Kelly.

Mark--I'm glad to see you back, but I hate to hear this news. This sucks. Praying for you.

Ok... Ladies---Need a pick-me-up? Here ya go-- http://www.brawnyman.com/innocentescape ... dband.html

Carleen, I'm so sorry these losses are hitting you so fast and furious. I'm thinking of you, praying that you are holding on ok.

Peanut butter anything.

I LOVE hearing you so "up," Lori! I'm so glad this arrangement is working well for everyone. Continued prayers and love for you all.

The "One Year Day" is coming up in a couple of weeks. DH is going to have to go on another short trip on 'the boat' that day too... And I'm trying to think of ways to be active, to remember my Mom, and to do something to give back to honor her memory, so I don't just sit around and cry in my cheerios that day. So I'm looking for ideas. I remembered that one day when Mom was in chemo, someone brought in Ice Cream Sundae's for everybody. She really liked that. I thought about maybe doing that at one of the local cancer centers. I also want to let off a balloon at some point during the day for her. Any other ides?

Linda, I am so very, very sorry. Please know we're here to support you. It's so hard when it happens so quickly.

(((((tinab)))))

Regarding him not getting fluids: As our bodies shut down in the dying process, we stop wanting fluids. And in fact, fluids can cause more pain to a person who is coming near the end. From what I've been told it is best to let the patient take in what they can, as they can. And as that intake tapers off, to trust that the body is doing what it needs to. I may be butting my nose in where it's not wanted, but from what you are describing, it may be that your Dad is actively into the process. You might want to think about taking off work for a while to be with him. I know that is hard, and not something you want to think about... But sometimes things can just go so fast. Above all,if there is something in you that says, "Go be with Daddy," listen. Praying for you. We're here to support you through this.

I don't have any advice, but wanted to mention that I can really relate to where you are. My Dad and I have become phantoms in Mom's family. If something big happens to any of them, we only here it by accident. And one of the wisest things I've read about grieving in general is that grief rewrites your address book. It seems so unfair to have to deal with the loss of friends and family on top of the loss of our loved ones, I know. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I'm so very sorry.

Your daughters story just breaks me heart. I'm so sorry she is going though this, that you, as her mother are going through this. I can't address your specific situation, but know that you are in my prayers and that we welcome you here. Let your daughter know that she now has a whole internet crew rooting her on. We'll do what we can to help and support you both.

WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO GLAD for this news, Cindi!

Linda, I just ache for you. There is nothing that I can say.... I know... I'm just so sorry. Having your Mom on hospice, knowing the disease is progressing is difficult enough.... With all of her irrationality and all that is going on... I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for you both. Just wish I could come hug you and help somehow. Know that you and your Mom will be firmly in my prayers. You are right to advocate for yourself. You have to. And doing so IS caring for your Mom. If you are incapacitated from the stress of all of this, your Mom is up a creek. So feel no guilt for thinking of yourself here. What you do for yourself now, is as much about caring for your Mom, as it is about caring for yourself. Here if you need to vent. Anytime. love, Val

Mom and Dad's 29th Anniversary. I had their next door neighbor take three roses to Mom's grave. I couldn't bear the thought of her not getting flowers this year.... Daddy did fine. He's on his way to visit us here. I can tell he's trying to be busy not thinking about it. Was a hard day. Edited because I just HAVE to tell the story: 29 years ago today My Dad got dressed up in brown slacks and a dress shirt--a woodsy foliage kind of shirt with the seven dwarves marching all over it... (yes really) Mom got dressed up in--to my best photo recollections--an orange and yellow pants outfit. I always thought they looked bell-bottomsy. They were headed out on the river, and Mom always told me that it had been windy and the water had been rough all day--until right before they were supposed to go out on the boat--and then the river turned to glass. So they got on their friends' boat, with a couple of witnesses and someone 'official.' And they got married in the middle of the Mississippi River. Or as close to the middle as they were allowed to with the Marriage License stipulations. It was the perfect wedding by their telling--the way all weddings should be. Simple, unique, theirs. I wish they could tell that story to me together today--with one starting where the other left off....

Oh Missy... That is SO COOL!!!!!! Tell your Mom, I'm still rooting her on loud as I can! I'm getting hoarse here in WA trying to shout all the way to IA! Cheering for you too! WAY TO GO on this project, and this wonderful article!!!

I wanted to speak to the 1000 miles issue... I was 2000 miles away from my Mom when she was diagnosed. It was hard. Very hard. I still can't tell you which was harder--being 2000 miles away wondering what was going on every single day, or being right there with Mom seeing what was going on every single day. Both spots were really heart-breaking. What can you do? Make LOTS of phone calls. BUT don't expect that your Dad will always want to talk, espcially during treatment. Roll with the punches of the conversations that you have. If at some point you feel like you NEED to be there--By all means GO! No matter what happens you WILL NOT regreat time that you DO spend with your family at this point. Your a nurse.... Maybe you're not so into this, but I know my SIL who is an NP can be a little sneaky and call docs and stuff to find out what is really going down with certain family members--of course family member ok is important--that might be a good way to help you stay involved and to help advocate. It is hard to be so far away. It is very, very hard. But you CAN be a support and you CAN be in the loop at least to a point. I'm sorry you have the need to be here. Many prayers for your Dad and for your family.

Praying here too.

Hurting for you, Carleen. I'm so sorry. I'm just so sorry.

Since the first days I logged on here, I have said again and again--you are my hero! You still are!!!!! So glad for this news!

Karen--You are SUCH a good Mom. I know Dave is proud of you.

Carleen, Like so many others said, you and Keith are on my mind all day long these days. That means the prayers don't stop. I would love to hear all about you and Keith. How did you two meet? How did he propose? Where is your most special 'date spot?' We love you... Holding out a light of hope for you both. I hope it pushes back a little of the darkness. love, Val

Ok... I'm first in line to smack these people upside the head and hand them a 'quit being dumb' card (They deserve much, much stronger language than that). Karen, I read this post and I just got so angry... Why would ANYONE say something so heartless and to think that you said 'people' plurral are saying these things... Good for you for switching daycares. OF COURSE this is different from just not having a father..... It's incredibly different. It's ten-times more heartrending, and much harder for a little girl to understand... And Faith has been through so much more than just that... Don't they get that???? You are doing a good job. Faith is acting in a way that any child should be expected to after all the loss and transition she has faced in her little life. In fact she's probably far more emotionally healthy than any of these idiots because she IS reacting to everything that's happened. Karen, I am just so angry for you! Keep us posted on how this works out, and you have my permission to give these morons hell! (((((Karen))))) ((((((Faith)))))