Treebywater

Prayers coming. Don't forget that there is ALWAYS hope. Maybe this clinical trial or any of the treatments they may try will help him keep going until they find THE TICKET to take care of things.

I am so sorry to read this, tina.

Your Mom is one beautiful lady... Thank you for sharing, Lori!

The title of your post just says so much... ((((Janet))))) Wish Ron could be with you now. I'm sorry for the hurt.

Lately, I get up, journal out all the thoughts that want to keep me up, and can usually sleep a little better.

Carleen--Just standing with you... From so many miles away, holding you both up in love. I'm so very, very sorry.

Sharyn, I'm so glad to see your post. I've missed you! Take the time you need... Know that we care. love, Val

I'm just so shocked to read this. Thank you for letting us know, bauner... I'm so sorry for her family.

I'm so very sorry.

From what I've experienced and heard, it's very, very normal. Our assumptions of invincibility are shattered. Probably forever. If we can get through the fear part of it, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. But it is a hard thing. To realize that life can change AGAIN in the blink of an eye. You'll always know that now, but hopefully the fear will become less suffocating.

Lor--I am so happy for you and your Mom that this is finally happening. And so proud of your for always stepping up to the plate for her. You are awesome. I worried about noise when Carolyn and I moved in with Mom... All Mom could say over and over was that even when she was crying she *LOVED* to be able to hear her. Now, I'm sure there were some sounds she loved more than others, but I do believe she really did. It'll be good for your Mama to be with people that she loves. Even (Especially) little, adorable, rambunctious ones! Keep us posted!

1. Taxi Driver 2. Raging Bull 3. Awakenings 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

Venting is ok. There is no getting around the fact that Lung Cancer sucks whether you are the patient of the caregiver. It hurts to see terrible things happen to our family. It just plain hurts. ((((hugs)))) to you, and prayers that things will begin to let up for your Dad your whole family.

How did I miss this? I can't believe it's already been a year... Karen, Becky, Faith--my heart is with you all. When I was a newbie here, it was largely David's posts (and Beth's... and others) that helped me see that it was ok to retain my sense of humor even with LC rearing it's head into our lives.

I think I'm going to start taking classes towards getting my M.Div. I'm going to begin filling out a couple of applications tonight.... ...Because I am thinking very strongly about becoming a hospital/hospice chaplain. More to the point, I think that is the current direction I feel "led" to go. I've never been able to figure out what people mean when they say that... but this is the closest I've ever come. It does and doesn't have to do with Mom. I think that she had a hand in it. First of all, it was an incredible experience to be able to be her 'midwife' of sorts as she passed out of this life and into the next. And it was on her birthday that I got the 'chills' moment that made me feel like that was where I was being 'led.' My undergrad degree is in Special Education. Half-way through getting it, I realized that the idea of teaching didn't feel right to me. I've been trying to figure out what did for some time. This feels right. Anyway... I think that is the direction things are going, if we can make it happen financially and such. I've been sitting on it for a while trying to figure out if it's just a whimsical little, "That would be nice" fantasy, but it feels like more than that. I guess all I can do is face this direction and see what comes of it. I've said elsewhere that I don't believe crappy things happen 'for a reason' necessarily. More I believe that God can take the crappy things that do happen and make good of it. I see this as the good that is being made out of my journey of the last couple of years. Anyway... I just thought I would share with you all. Haven't shared with many yet because it feels so tentative. Thanks if you got all the way through this.

Mary, I'm bummed for you. I am glad there is a plan, and I'm praying that it will be just the thing.

YEAH!!!

I'm praying, Cindy. I'm so sorry.

Connie--I think she means a day by day, journal type idea of her experience. Different than just a little blurb in the other thread. I think. Am I right, Linda?

Congratulations!!!!

I'm so sorry you are here, Linda, but glad that the folks seem to be so positive. Feeling a mess is normal. It's a confusing mix of emotions when you finally sign on that line. (((((Linda))))) Praying for you and your Mom.

Wow... That is so COOL! And so very well deserved! Congratulations Katie and Rick!

Carleen, First of all, I am so very that this is happening. I'm so very sorry it was such a terrible day. I'm so very sorry they couldn't offer any options. I know that you are praying in faith that Keith will be healed. And I know you are so angry that it isn't happening. I promise I am now, and will continue to pray for a complete healing for Keith. He is able. As for where you are, and the way things look for now, and the anger you are feeling: First of all, I believe with everything in me that it's OK to be angry at God. He's a big God and he can take it. I'm NOT a 'we can't understand why He does things, for His purposes are above ours' kind of person. I'm NOT a "There's a reason for everything kind of person." I am a 'bad things happen, and I don't think God causes them to happen' kind of person. I am a 'God can redeem even the darkest darkness' kind of person. I believe in radical miracles, and I believe miracles happen but don't always look like we think they should. I don't know why he doesn't always intervene when we know that He can... I wondered that with my Mom. To be honest, I was afraid to even pray for her healing because I didn't want to be disappointed. That is a faithless road to take, I know. You have shown courage in your perseverence. I have no answers... But I believe He is good. And even when really shi##y things happen and he doesn't stop them... I believe he can make good out of it. I DON'T believe he causes them to happen for a greater good... I DO believe that He makes beauty out of our ashes because He is good. I also believe that you don't have to feel good about that while you're in the ashes. You can be angry, and sad, and just be where you are. I'm rambling on, and I know I sound preachy... But don't forget that He IS good, Carleen. No matter what happens. I don't understand why the shi##y things happen. I don't understand why you both had to have a day like you did today, or why Keith has had to be in so much pain, or why you've both had to go through SO MUCH so early in your life. I just don't. And past all that I've said above--that I hope and pray will not cause pain or frustration on top of what you are already experiencing--I just say this. I love you both even though I've never met you. I will NOT stop praying. I will continue to pray for complete healing for Keith. I will continue to pray for miracles in your midst. love, Val

ROOT

AWESOME. Tell her that for the tremendous support, inspiration, and voice of cool-headed wisdom that she has been to all of us, the least we could do was pray her through this. And let her know we won't stop!