Treebywater

Am late, but... AWWWWWW YEAH!!!!!

It does seem that things happen all at once. It's been a pretty terrible year all around here too... It DOES feel like you are being beaten repeatedly by a 2X4 when so much happens. You WILL get your footing underneath you again and keep going. Because there really isn't another option. Take your time to feel it when you need, but don't let that keep you in one place. Your family members need you.

Grrrr to bad news. BUT listen to Katie. SO MUCH can happen in that amount of time. Keep keepin on and keep making us laugh.

Me too!!!

There's a verse in Jeremiah about how a man who trusts in the Lord will be a tree by the water--who never fails to bear fruit even in dry times. And I decided I wanted to be a tree by the water. I'm only just a twig, so far, but I'm getting there.

That Lucie is simply amazing. And you are too, Don! I am SO GLAD For this news!!!!!! Yeah!!!!

I noticed that for me there was often, NOTHING that could be said that would sit well with me. I think it's one way my anger seeped out. If people said, "I'm sorry" I thought, "What for?" All of the above and more chaffed me. BUT I also found that even saying the WRONG thing was better than those who said nothing at all... And that's something I've learned from this. Thanks for sharing Cindy. I so agree.

HOOOYAH!!!! (Ask Fred if that has always been the Navy cheer....) Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Thank you for sharing with us... And thank you for being Peggy--who IS Strong and amazing and compassionate and ALWAYS stands for hope.

No words fit... Just (((((Carleen)))))

Darrell--Thinking of you. Keep looking til you get answers that you can work with! And we will keep praying!

((((Kim))))) No answers for you, but I'm praying for you both.

Karen--I totally understand your feelings and even support them. If you can impact one person who might be susceptible to this disease not to smoke or to quit at whatever the magic time is before it will lead to cancer that's a wonderful thing. Just the same as if one person realizes that we are ALL susceptible to lung cancer after talking to Katie or Andrea and is diligent with their health that's a wonderful thing. *I* still find it rude and it feels like insult to injury to me. Growing up, most of my friends vocally looked down on my parents because of their smoking. They talked to me about what a "filthy" habit it was and how "stupid you would have to be to do it." It took me a long time to realize the kind of addiction smoking was for both of them. They BOTH TRIED SO HARD to quit numerous times, but they were still looked down on as "filthy, stupid smokers asking to get cancer." And when certain people ask they ask with the same look on their face. So that predisposes me to be a little sensitive. Doesn't mean I get defensive, but it does mean that it stings when I'm asked. That's my problem. I get that. And for the record--the lady who pushed me on the "five years ago" question did so after I matter of factly told her that my Mom DID smoke (I also mentioned her family history of cancer and the environmental toxins she was exposed to). I didn't give a snappy reply to her. But the next day when I saw her she DID push the issue. I guess you just have better taste in who to converse with, Karen. (this lady certainly didn't have a record of thinking before speaking in my presence anyway... on any issue). And just for clarification sake on my last post... I say Mom would have "lived it up" because of the way that stupid question was worded. If Mom could have redone things to never get the cancer, she would have. But if "She knew that in five years she WOULD DIE," she would have crammed in all the living she could doing things she enjoyed, healthy or not. Really not trying to be argumentitive. I just want you to know that I get where you're coming from, and wanted to expand a bit on my feelings.

Yucky news. I'm sorry. Glad there is a plan in place and that your Mom is so determined to fight.

Me too. Absolutly, stunningly, beautiful Carleen. Thank you for sharing with us.

(((((Lori))))) (((((Lori's Mom))))) No advice on the questions. Just know that I care and I'm praying!

Peggy, thank you so much for this update, and thank you for watching out for so many of us.

((((ursol)))) Thank you for the update.

With Mom, regardless of the combo, it was always the 3rd of 4th day that the side effects really kicked her, and sometimes they could kick pretty hard. Praying for Bev and Kelly!

You are AWESOME!

Just wanted to add my prayers here!

I had the thought--could it be a blood clot? I Think it is definitely something that needs to be investigated promptly.

Katie--your words about empowerment vs. shame really hit home to me. I am going to try to take that one and run with it! Laura--I also think you are right on. People try to distance themselves as far as possible from cancer, and death, and suffering, and anything they can do to make them feel "safe" in the face of seeing that people are vulnerable they will do. To answer your question Erin--YES I have dealt with it, and I also find it especially hurtful given that Mom is gone. I actually had one woman have the audacity to come out and say (after previously asking me if my Mom had smoked), "If your Mom knew five years ago that she would die because of her smoking would she have quit?" Of course, I felt so on the spot I wasn't ready with an informative answer about how it mightn't have mattered since about 40% of those diagnosed are actually FORMER smokers. I think the RIGHT answer to that question actually might have been this, in my Mom's case, "Heck yes! And she'd have eaten more chocolate cake, had steak for dinner every night, partied more, gone to the river boat more, and in all other ways lived it up... If she knew she only had five years left--WHY NOT?!"

Hang on, Carleen. We are all going to hold you best we can here. Find someone tangible to walk through the darkness with you. Keep breathing one breath at a time until you don't have to remind yourself to take them anymore. You are so loved. Don't forget that.

I'm praying. (((((hugs)))) to you.