Carleen,
First of all, I am so very that this is happening. I'm so very sorry it was such a terrible day. I'm so very sorry they couldn't offer any options.
I know that you are praying in faith that Keith will be healed. And I know you are so angry that it isn't happening. I promise I am now, and will continue to pray for a complete healing for Keith. He is able.
As for where you are, and the way things look for now, and the anger you are feeling: First of all, I believe with everything in me that it's OK to be angry at God. He's a big God and he can take it.
I'm NOT a 'we can't understand why He does things, for His purposes are above ours' kind of person. I'm NOT a "There's a reason for everything kind of person."
I am a 'bad things happen, and I don't think God causes them to happen' kind of person.
I am a 'God can redeem even the darkest darkness' kind of person.
I believe in radical miracles, and I believe miracles happen but don't always look like we think they should.
I don't know why he doesn't always intervene when we know that He can... I wondered that with my Mom. To be honest, I was afraid to even pray for her healing because I didn't want to be disappointed. That is a faithless road to take, I know. You have shown courage in your perseverence.
I have no answers... But I believe He is good. And even when really shi##y things happen and he doesn't stop them... I believe he can make good out of it. I DON'T believe he causes them to happen for a greater good... I DO believe that He makes beauty out of our ashes because He is good.
I also believe that you don't have to feel good about that while you're in the ashes. You can be angry, and sad, and just be where you are.
I'm rambling on, and I know I sound preachy... But don't forget that He IS good, Carleen. No matter what happens.
I don't understand why the shi##y things happen. I don't understand why you both had to have a day like you did today, or why Keith has had to be in so much pain, or why you've both had to go through SO MUCH so early in your life. I just don't.
And past all that I've said above--that I hope and pray will not cause pain or frustration on top of what you are already experiencing--I just say this. I love you both even though I've never met you. I will NOT stop praying. I will continue to pray for complete healing for Keith. I will continue to pray for miracles in your midst.
love,
Val