Treebywater

((((Sue and Mike))))

I have been thinking about this post all day. The first thing I want to say is I think to a point I understand your anger. I have noticed when I'm dealing with stuff, anger is almost always part of it, and I always aim that anger at different things. It might be a piddly thing, or it might be a big thing. Usually it's not THE THING I'm angry at that I focus the anger on to. Somehow the anger is a preservation mechanism. I don't know if any of this may play into YOUR anger or not. Regardless of where it comes from, it is important that you practice be gentle with your Mom. From what you've told us it sounds like your struggle is that you're trying to, but this is in the way. Something I've learned abour forgiveness is that it's not always something that you feel. Sometimes it's something you just do and hope that feeling comes later. I did the same thing as I was growing up. I did everything I could to try to 'make' my parents quit. They couldn't do it for me. And I wasted a lot of time not just accepting them. You don't have much time left. Love on your Mom. Know she is a human being with hang-ups like the rest of us (mine are really bad for me foods). Know that the anger is part of it, but try not to focus it on your Mama. Praying for you both. Val

Peggy, I'm so glad you told us what is going on. You're not dumping. We don't have to be Pollyanna's around here. The truth is sometimes this stuff sucks really bad and hurts excruciatingly and the beauty of this place is we get to take turns cheering each other on, and being the ones who need the cheering. I'm so sorry to hear that things are at such a difficult place for you and Don. I am so glad though that you are taking measures to care for yourself and process through this. I'm glad you have sought someone out to talk to, and that you've shared here. We're here for you good and bad. Praying for you both. Val

I'm just kidding of course about the strangling. Really the last couple of days, while she has spent a lot of time in bed, she's seemed more up, and stronger than ever. And today she is pushing all those mother/daughter buttons, "Val... get the stick out of your rear and feed that baby more than breastmilk. She needs to gum on a cinnamon roll!" "I TOLD YOU I wanted it THIS way." With all of her usual irritating and endearing humor and charm. I guess I have missed it. I'm having to watch myself though, because I am finding myself irritated and I know that is as much from overload as anything. The first few days of separation from husband always suck, I'm tired, baby's grunchy, and Mom's the mouth of the south. Overall though, I'm just glad she seems to be feeling better. I'm praying that the results of her last scans (We'll get them Tuesday) will be decent. Mom has indicated that if we don't get some good news out of them, she may choose to stop treatment. Trying to walk through that road carefully. Hopefully we'll see something encouraging. Don't know why I typed all that. I guess I just wanted to. Hooray for Mom feeling good enough to push my buttons... Now to go pray for patience!

Karen, You are so beautiful and strong.... Keep doing what you need to do, and know that we'll be here.

You are much loved.

I think Di said it best. We thank you, and David, and all of your family for being such lights here, for honestly grappling with this stuff, but always keeping humor about you. I'm so sad for your loss and also for ours. I know he is playing that trumpet loud and proud.

Warrior is the word.... I'm so sorry. My heart just aches to read this. Karen, Faith, and Becky.... You are much loved and I hurt with you.

No.... Me too Fay.

I have no information, but I want you to know that I'm praying for all of you.

I'm so sorry, Carole.

Carolyn and I are headed back to Mom's tomorrow to stay at least until the end of DH's time at sea. I know it's trivial, but if you could pray for our travels. It's going to be a tough day as this was the last time to see my husband before he deploys (unless the deployment comes later and we get REALLY lucky with leave, which we're not counting on at all). I'm anxious to see my Mama (and anxious to be done moving into storage and cleaning my apartment), but it is always very hard to be away from my husband. Val

And I'll third the prayer for cranial flatulence. That must be so scary for you, and so hard coming on the heels of your good news. Praying for you guys, and as always, we're here.

Praying, praying, praying... I'm so glad you'll get to spend some time wiht David and co.

Just wanted to give you many ((((hugs))))

Praying for her and for you.

I'm so sorry, Nancy... I'm praying for peace and strength and hope. These are dark days for you, but we'll all light a candle for you and hopefully give you some light for the journey. ((((Nancy))))) (((((Mike))))

YEAH!!!!

Darn it... (Darn it is always such a huge understatement here...) That just sucks, Cindi. Praying for you, and as everyone said--we're behind you all the way.

Wow!!! This sounds like such blessed news! Praying also that the new staging is right on and that your husband may enjoy a complete recovery!

Larry, I'm so sorry for your loss. I also wanted to chime in that it sounds like you're going a good direction with this. I know it's a TOTALLY different situation, but when my Grandmother passed away when I was at full term in my pregnancy and I couldn't get to her in time to see her before she passed, or get to the funeral... It was such an awful, helpless feeling. I was able to get to where she was after she passed and say my goodbyes, but I could not make the funeral as it was too far away. That lack of closure was really hard, and I think NOT being able to have a chance to say my good-bye in some way would have ultimately been more stressful for me (and the baby) than going was. As I say, I know this is a TOTALLY different situation, but I can empathize with some of your wife's feelings of, "I HAVE TO BE THERE." I think going is a good thing.

YEAH!!!

(((hugs)))), prayers, and virtual hand to hold just for you!

On the nightly news for King 5 here in Washington there was an alomst decent bit about LC. It specifically highlightned non-smokers who got LC, and mentioned the website that is doing the study for non-smokers who get it. So that was very positive. But at the same time... They made it sound like people who do smoke and got LC got it ONLY because they smoked. Maybe I am just being over-sensitive though. It seemed that they presented it as if non-smokers got it because of a genetic anomaly... but left no room for the possibility that some smokers had the same genetic anomaly working to their detriment. Again... I'm having an ick day so I'm probably just being picky. Hooray that it got some press at all, and some press different that the kind we usually hear.

Oh Nancy... I'm so sorry. I'm praying, praying, praying. I hope things improve for him quickly. ((((hugs)))))