Treebywater

Your attitude here makes it easier for me to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Way to go on your being so proactive. I hope the radiation and the meds do great things for you!

I'm so sorry to read this.

Exactly!!! Praying for you both!!! Val

I wanted to share some photos of my little bundle, and especially one of her and my Mom... since I jabber on about them both so much. I hope you don't mind indulging me. Thank you Katie for helping me post them!!! --Val

I'm feeling really scared right now... I'm afraid things are getting bad. I'm afraid that maybe they've been bad. And I'm mostly afraid that despite of all my hopes and prayers they're not going to get better. Mom is in pain. The radiation had eased the pain off some... Now the pain, especially in her shoulder is back with a vengeance. She is really short of breath. Talking on the phone or trying to give herself a sponge bath to clean up just completely finishes her. And all of the bad feelingness makes it hard for her to keep her spirits up. I say that a lot, but I DON'T think her problem is depression related... She really has only had one or two marginally good days in the last 4 months or so. It all just seems like it's all in decline... And as much as I want to be able to fight I am wondering if even the doctor will be near saying the, "There's not much more we can do" stuff soon. Could she still come back and rebound a bit from this, or do I need to be getting myself ready for the even tougher stuff? We leave again on Monday for Washington to pack up our apartment and put it into storage and so that Carolyn can spend some time with her Daddy, but I am truly just so scared to do that. I am afraid of wasting precious time... but Carolyn and Andy need each other. We (baby and I) will be back here again in two weeks to stay. Maybe I am just venting again, but I am really scared right now.

I am so sorry.

I'm so sorry that you've lost your daddy.

I'm so sorry you have had need to find us, but glad you are here. Keep coming back... (((hugs))) to you and prayers for your whole family.

So, I know it's good to try to stay ahead of things in this game... We haven't even done scans yet to see what Mr. Alimta is doing for Mom, but want to get started on 'what might come next' anyway. How do I do that? How do I find out what the next line of treatment might be? Do things usually go in a certain order? I'm clueless guys and have been overwhelmed enough to not make myself sit down and figure it out. With Cisplatin/Gemzar used first and then Alimta... what might come next? What should I be looking into?

She's applied for the SS Disability. That should kick in next month. But if things hit the fan and they lose the Cobra for whatever reason the lapse-time before the Medicare kicks in could get interesting. Thanks for the info. Hopefully it'll pan out ok. That's what we're praying for.

I'll send over some guard monkeys to fend off any fat ladies with singing potential. Know that we're praying for you. Keep up the fight and the faith!

What icky news to get. I'm sorry you both had to hear it. You know we are here to fight with you. Now we get the chance to LIFT YOU UP. See... that's the best thing about friends. They can take turn being the encouragers and shoulders and ears. Besides, some of the most beautiful inspiration comes from those who are honest about their struggles, but help people see hope even in the midst of them. I've no doubt that you and your husband will still encourage us greatly. Know that we're praying for you both. That includes Carolyn, and I'm pretty sure the Big Guy listens pretty closer to her. (((((hugs)))))

This just sucks sooo much. ((((David and Karen)))) Praying, praying, praying for you.

*sigh* Did I tell you guys that Mom "retired"/was layed off in September 2 months before her diagnosis because she was working at the Maytag plant that closed up in favor of heading to Mexico? Well... yeah. Today we read in the paper that the Maytag Corporation is being bought by a private company. That means interesting things for Mom and Dad's shares of stock in the company, questionable things about their pensions... And... It doesn't look good for their health insurance. Mom is too young to qualify for Medicare as far as I know. And we all know she has a pre-existing condition. I'm not really looking for answers here. We'll start figuring things out as we go when we have a better idea of what's going to happen, but we sure would appreciate prayers for God's provision on this one. Val

I agree. Let the doc know that he's dehydrated, so they can get him in to have fluids if need be. I agree... this stuff just sucks. I'm sorry things are so difficult right now. We're flighting through the slog with you. ((((hugs))))

This ain't the happiest place in the world today... Mom is really discouraged. Really, really discouraged. I think her resolve to fight is waning. She is tired of feeling yucky all the time, tired of not getting any good news, and tired of having really uncomfortable symptoms that the doctor has no solutions or answers for. Dad is on edge and has been short with Mom. This makes Mom feel even worse. Daddy I think is just exhausted, and scared, and angry, not at Mom, of course, but at this whole awful situation. He doesn't mean to direct the anger at her, but that's where it lands. I guess he needs another insurance company to get mad at. Maybe I could work on that. I am aching over all of the above, plus it's really hit me the last couple of days how very changed Mom really is. She looks like HER Mom did the last few years of her life and her Mom made it to 90. She's hunched over, can't get around very well, short of breath, in pain... The Oncologist is pretty much up on all that is going on with her... he listens and takes her seriously and tries to help. Mom is resistant to anything that requires too much time out of the house... like time in the hospital, and if we ever get to a point where she needs to go to the ER, I fear it'll be a battle to convince her of that. If a second opinion was a wise idea she wouldn't get one because it's so hard on her to travel. She is at a point where it is so hard on her to leave the house, that she doesn't want to, but for the doc or anybody to really see what she is going through or help her with any of it, I think that's what would be necessary. On top of that, the doc doens't seem to be real sure about some of the things Mom is experiencing. I think part of Mom's problem is that she is very depressed, but she doens't want to take the anti-depressants the doc gave her because she doesn't like the side-effects, and she doesn't want to really talk to anybody but daddy or I. I am honored to listen, but I can only listen as one who hurts with her, but hasn't been where she is. I just feel so sad, and angry at what this has stolen. My ahead of myself projections are scary, not hopeful... And I'm tired... The baby has been very needy, we've been really busy, I'm missing my husband very much, and things are just hard right now. So anyway... I'm feeling pretty down, and so is the rest of this household (including Carolyn who had a pretty tough day today too--probably picking up on our downness, and the weather is changing, and we had a busy couple of days). In lighter news--Mom got a walker today and seems to think it will really help her mobility. This is WONDERFUL news to me... maybe it will help her want to try to do more LIFE-y things. Carolyn had a real GIGGLE for the first time yesterday, and she's been watching a "Daddy video" that my husband made her for the separation time we're in now... It didn't get to us for a couple weeks and I was afraid it had been too long, but when we play the tape she smiles and coos and tries to talk to her Daddy. Makes me smile and choke up every single time. Sorry for the whine. Just aching and exhausted today.

Gosh... how did I miss this? I'm adding my prayers for you and your Mama.... ((((hugs)))) sent to you both.

What an awful day... I'm so sorry. ((((hugs))))

(((((hugs))))) to you. Your husband is so lucky to have you in his corner defending his needs even with resistance from the family. Being the go-between isn't easy, but you're doing such a good job. Don't give up hope. Better days can be ahead!!

I'm late getting on this train, but wanted to offer up a couple of thoughts: #1 on the 'smoking stigma....' Research is finding more and more that obesity is linked to cancer... Yet, when people are diagnosed with those cancers they aren't automatically asked, "Do you overeat frequently?" I think the stigma is ridiculous and if THAT is the reason for underfunding, we have got to help people see past the cigarrettes. #2 I have been thinking how cool it would be to get up a walk or a fundraising project of some sort for "Cancers" in general, and especially those that are under-represented. LC, pancreatic, adrenal, etc. I wonder if people affected by those who were able and wanting to banded together if the voices together could be powerful?

I want him to win too. Prayers on the way.

(((((hugs)))))

YEAH!!!!!!!

It sounds like a great place! and 1200 sq. ft. in an apartment? Cool!

I'm finally here with Mom, and I'm so glad. It's been an exhausting week leaving my husband back home as he got ready for a month or so away from home as well, and getting here with Carolyn and settling in... Mom is really having a hard time. And she's very discouraged. She is just hoping to find some good days, and instead they just seem to get worse for her. She does LOVE having her grandbaby nearby. She sees the doctor again Monday and should get round 2 of Alimta then too. Mom is having a hard time too because she's not strong enough to hold Carolyn and she wants too. I offer her for sleepy snuggle time, and even that is hard but doable sometimes... But it cheers her some to just have her nearby. Even with that, she is so discouraged that I just ache for her. We need some good news, and a few good days wouldn't hurt either. Anyway, keep us in your prayers if you would. It's hard here... and I don't know yet if it is just normal hard.