Maybe you guys can help me understand a little... or give me some advice about what to do.
I have mentioned in other threads that I call Mom and Dad every day. I call to check in on how the day is going... see where Mom is at in things, see how Dad is feeling and dealing, and to know what their needs are... not to mention just to talk to my folks.
Most of the time, Mom doesn't want to talk to me. Well... I hope that is not true. Most of the time, Mom doesn't want to talk on the phone. I know it takes a tremendous amount of physical and emotional energy on some days. And I know if I was spending most of my day puking my guts out or being in pain I might not want to either.
But still, sometimes, it hurts. Different folks here have said, "Call just to say Hi and I love you." Well, I am trying to... but Mom doesn't want to take the phone to hear me say it. I WANT TO say it. I want to say it every day. If the beer truck comes to get me, Mom, or Dad, I want to know that that has been said, you know?
So... my questions are--can you help me to understand her point of view? PLEASE KNOW that each and every day I say, "Don't take it personally, Val. Mom loves you. She just can't do this today." I am not angry at her. I am just sad I guess.
Could this be one of her ways of creating a little distance to make things easier on top of her being very tired? Am I doing something wrong and wearing her out when she does talk? Should I just try other ways of saying I love you often... like send cards or notes or something?
And... Is it ok for me... or fair for me... to say--Mom... I'd like to talk to you more. And I understand it takes a lot of energy, but it would make me feel better to even just be able to say Hi, and I love you? Is that an ok request to make? Or would that make her feel guilty and/or be an unfair demand?
I wonder if things will be easier in this regard when I head back to be with them after wee farkle is born (by the way--only 8 days til my due date. ). I hope so, but I know there will be new challenges then.
Thanks all!
Val