So thankful you have a place to vent some feelings Flower. This is a frustrating disease and along with all the meds and mets can tear up the whole family. Your hubby needs to see the big picture. It is not just about him. If he conquers this he will be ashamed of the way he acted to the family. If he doesn't make it does he want to leave bad memories for the kids and his family? One thing i really admire about so many cancer victims is THE WAY they handle the disease with: humor, determination, information, love of others, appreciation, service (yes you can serve while ill). I am sure your husband is scared. Perhaps counseling with a minister or social worker would help. He has to make some steps himself. No one can live or die for him. You may have to get in his face and tell him he is not the only person in the world, always with love and concern. Will be praying for your family and especially you Flower, pammie