[A New Chapter]

Tom, I'm so sorry to hear about your increasing pain. Do you have a pain specialist or palliative care doc on your team? I wish I could email some pain relief and good sleep, or just send it through the air. Or something. You are a model of hope to so many of us. It hurts to see you suffering. Hang in there, dear Tom.

[6 years]

Happy Cancerversary! You've been through a lot and I hope your next six are uneventful, cancerwise that is. Have plenty of fun events.

[The Stigma]

Good for you for developing a change in attitude! No one deserves lung cancer no matter what they did and embarrassment is just a waste of energy.  Yay for pride--and hope!

[6 years]

I'm thrilled that you've had another cancerversary! Keep on going! 

[Eighteen Years but No Toes]

Congratulations, Tom!  i second everything Lisa, Lennie and Lou have said!  Yay for you!

[The Roscopal Effect]

Yay for you Roz and the Roscopal effect. Thanks for sharing this--I hope others will benefit.

 

[5 Years!]

Happy Cancerversary!

[Trekking The Green With Seventeen]

Congrats, Tom!  Nice feet and good pedicure job! I expect to see at least another 17.

[Reoriented]

I think a lot of us deal with similar issues about spending and saving, especially if we're retired and/or not able to work. I had a friend who had stage 4 ovarian cancer with a recurrence. She said "if I'm going to fight for my life, I'm going to have a life worth fighting for." She spent her retirement savings on several expensive trips, including wonderful small-ship cruises to the Galapagos and the Arctic, on which she was able to indulge her passion for photography. At her memorial service, we were inited to choose one of her photos, and I picked one of a leaping polar bear cub, which I always think of when I think of her. She spent her limited time living and not dying. She's one of my role models. 

Bridget O

[A Day of Thanks]

Yay for you! Great pics, thanks for posting them.

Bridget O

[Ready for yet another new normal]

Steff, if you get the crystal ball, let me know. I have some questions for it.  I would love to go back to work and to the swimming pool but it's not looking likely. The pool is closed ant the building is being used as a homeless shelter to allow people who were in crowded shelters to spread out. i could actually go back to my job any time i think it's safe enough. (I'm on call in a different homeless shelter. They're being pretty careful there and haven't had any COVID-19 infections, I don't think). But my doctor at the outset of the pandemic advised me against it, because I'm in a high risk group, primarily because of my age (74). And unfortunately I'm not getting any younger.

Bridget O

[Twice A Veteran]

And thank you for your service to the survivors  and caregivers on this forum

[A Life Well Lived]

Tom, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I second everything Steff said about how you and your description of your friend's like and your relationship about being a much needed inspiration for acceptance and living LIFE.

Bridget 

[Another recurrence, another call to Mom and Dad]

You are entitled to a meltdown whenever you need/chose/are overcome by one! I'm glad today is a better day.

Bridget O

[There are days....]

I think both survivors and caregivers want to avoid unlioading their baggage on each other. It's inevitable that we do that some though. One thing I love about these forums is it gives me a place I can unload some stuff without unduly alarming my spouse. I know she wants to make things better for me, but at times I just need to vent or complain or share anxieties. Here others have been through a lot of the same stuff and will understand without feeling responsible or worried. Thanks everybody for  being here!

Bridget O

[My Friend Randy]

Tom,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Your post is a wonderful tribute to him.

Bridget O

[Social Security Disability by Disapproval]

I have in the past helped a number of people with SS disability applications, or SSI disability .(Social Security is based on what you paid in to the system; SSI is available if you haven't paid enough into the system but have very limited income and resources--the disability standard for both programs is essentially the same) Tom's advice is excellent. Two things I'd like to add. First, submit the most complete documentation and information  you can at the initial application. If you have a case manager through any agency, ask for their help with this, or whether they can refer you to any other local agency that can help at the initial application stage. Second, the Socail Security Administration will probably send a questionnaire about your abilities/disabilitie to a person you name in your application. You need to be sure that this person knows that this is coming and is also aware of the disability standards (as Tom says in #3 that you should be). It can be difficult for some people to fill these out for others because they either want to maximize the extent of the disabilty to be helpful  (as in "she can't do anything for herself and requires total care") or minimize it because they are in denial or trying to be optiimistic. (as in  " she is a wonderful person who tries to do everything for herself and only needs a little help"). It's important for the person filling out the form to be detailed and realistic and as Tom says- be sure to include treatment side effects, especially when treatment is long-term.

Social Security is a really convoluted system, so if you can find someone to help who has experience with it, so much the better. And in any case, be sure to meet any appea deadlines and don't give up!